Woke up this morning thinking about one of my most tragic auditions. It was LA. I had just got done reading for a casting director for an ‘Aaron Spelling’ show. I can’t remember what it was? ‘Charmed’ or something? I didn’t get it…that’s why i obviously can’t remember it. (lol) I jumped into a taxi, had to get changed into ‘urban/hip hoppy’ attire, in the back seat. Then get driven all the way to the Valley (Studio City,) to audition for the role of ‘host’ of a new dance show. (It was really quite rubbish. It came on telly for a brief spit, then got cancelled during the commercials or something.)
I remember leaping out the car because i was a wee bit late ( i hate being late for things…i’m always on time or 5 hours early.) Sitting in a corridor with a handful of other young urban hopefuls, who i’d seen a million times. Then i went in to read, dressed like a slutty urban hip hop chick. (I looked terrible) I talked to the casting director for about 2 glorious seconds, started to read my sides (which we’re written like i should be talking kinda thug-style….which doesn’t really work, when you’re British. Lol) She kept giving me direction and telling me to be a little more urban american, and a little more enthusiastic each time. ‘Shout it out to the crowds Christina!‘ The room was sooo small. I was literally on top of her and i felt sweaty. Nice!!
So i’m there, looking like a 5 ft 3 TIT, with this bright blue shirt on, that only had one arm and the words ‘FOXY’ printed across the front in orange. A furry pink (already doesn’t go) flat hip hop cap on, a pleated mini skirt and high heeled boots, being urban american thug style, with a dodgey british accent trying to excite imaginary crowds and hopefully get this job. I had to do it almost 4 times and she soooo wanted me to do well. (lol) The fifth time, i remember, stumbling around, screaming out my ‘sides’ and actually ever so cooly tripping over my own high heeled boot, falling on my pretty disturbed face, landing in a heap and this is after smashing myself against a concrete white wall, that now had a smeary glittery trail of Chrissie Wunna fake tan and bronzer, then simply looking up at here in desperate hope…
And with a ‘Yeah you did great. Thankyou!’ (They always say that to you, even if you do badly.) I was sent on my merry way. It was HILARIOUS. I was soo young and it was one of my earliest auditions. I remember i use to always try way too hard. Now i’m Cool like Fonzee and it’s amazing how much more work you get. (Hahaha.)
is aaron speeling the mush who did 90210 his stuff is cheesey u want to do a david sullivan show only fools and horses pisses on any american sitcom and until death do us part alf garnett is the fucking daddy
I don’t think so honey. Oh and Mr.Spelling died, so you have to be nice about him. You’re evil.
i aint but lets have it right how good is only fools and horses and i would hire u any day if u auditioned for me chrissie put u would have to learn how to speak proper like lol
Oh lord….lol (Good save)
good good i just aint a big fan of american sitcoms they need a cockney boy in em then they would be cushtie