Woke up this morning …’thinking.’ Dangerous! It’s bad for you. I have the most powerful of minds, cleverly parcelled in a ‘Bimbo’s’ body. Lethal combination. I trust my body, just as much as my mind…it’s never let me down. (ha-ha) I don’t like to think to much, it’s bores Me.
This time last year, i was racing around the streets of Hollywood, downing Peach margaritas, going from couch to couch, loving my loved ones, screaming at strangers, throwing patio furniture over balconies, dancing with hooligans, walking pit bulls, enjoying the ‘fake’ snow at the Grove, spending a night in the trunk of a Ford Taurus, wiping away other peoples tears, causing tears, dressing up as a belly dancer, being called an ‘Icon,’ loving myself, hating myself, sunning it by a pool, running in and out of wedding chapels, doing photo shoots, argueing with a Driver, partying like a champion and trying to get rid of the nastiest leather coat i have ever seen, that even a random prostitute (who was half ‘penis’) didn’t care to want. What was i thinking? That was all in 2 weeks. Insane!! Welcome to the story of my life. I’ve had a GREAT one, and yes it has just been a series of comedic knock-backs, but Darlings my glass was always half full!! Where are my kittens!!!
I’m flash backing mid-blog…! It’s going from being lifted in the air and spanked with giant wooden lolly pop sticks, to a chrous of buff gays, hailing me and singing ‘She got it from her Maaaaaaaamaaa/She got it from her Maaaaaaamaaaaa!’ Then moving to a ‘misty- watercoloured’ of Beauty bar, and once again me being lifted, in UV, by a gaggle of over-excited drunks, all cheering and raising me to that song that goes ‘ Aaaaaaaah blah, blah, blah, blah blaaaahh…I’m a Loser baby, so why don’t you kill me!’ Tragically delicious!!
Why does everyone feel the need to lift me, and to music?? When i was working at ‘Crunch,’ trainers (with their ‘gun shows’) would randomly saunter up, say ‘Hi’ then plunge me into the air and sometimes upside down!! It’s not normal… Me no likey! You don’t see me going around lifting humans, goddamit!! But saying that, I don’t really lift anything…apart from the odd bubbling champagne flute to mouth. Bliss!
Chrissie Wunna x