Meat sticks, Cookies & Sluts

‘No-one’s meant to see your vagina but Me Christina!

‘Oh?’ Replied the puzzled Glamour Puss, to a Handsome boy of ‘Lover’ who wishes her to be his Bride to Be.

That pretty much sums up my morning. Well that and the fact that i am completely humoured by the the joy of a person randomly walking into my boudior and handing me a stick of meat! The placed the words ‘It’s Gourmet’ infront of it. Which ofcourse made me want it and therefore eat it. I am a Glamour Puss…yes. I love my faux furs, my big hair did’s and diamond encrusted virgin cocktails. But i just can’t say no to a spicy kebab meat stick from Tescos and simply because, it’s funny.

I’m having one of those mornings where in which i worked terribly hard the night previous to make sure i got all that needed be done…DID. Only to wake up and find that no-one seems to have recieved anything they should have recieved and for that reason have not bothered ot get back to me just yet. *Pulls hair out.* (I wasted hair curling time…on work. NEVER AGAIN!)

I’m really looking forward to the book. I’m going to dedicate my whole October to the final bits and bobs of it. It surely needs ot be a hit. If not…i’m doomed. I’ve also got to find a Christmas Job, so i can be around children, make extra money and totally wear all my outfits. Being stuck at home sort of restrains you from proper outfit wearing. I get bored easily, when i’m doing nothing. So in order to make ‘i’m preggo’ time go faster, i need to be occupied. (As Wazza says, ‘Life was easier when you just got your boobies out for money.’ Lol.) Loverboy and I have applied for ‘The Million Pound Drop.’ We only sent our application off today, so we don’t even know if we’ve got an audition yet. (It’s weird how being pregnant, all of a sudden makes you want to get your greedy kitten mittens on as much De Niro as possible.) Before and like i’d always say, there would have to be diamonds on the floor to make me even CONSIDER bending down. NOW, i’d bend over backwards, sideways and behind bushes (ones in parks, not on vaginas) in order to make 100% SURE, my not yet born baby’s future is completely SAFE. (Mmm…i’m eating the most yummy cookies form the Lake District right now. I’m dunking them and everything. It’s like an odd form of biscuit suicide.)

Today i’m actually on top of everything. The book is going ot be a hit and the make up is on it’s merry way…finally. I’m as positive as can be and encoruaging others to join me. If you’re down in any way, no matter how old, or young you are? My theory is to just WRITE out an unedited paragraph about how you truely feel about things in that precise moment. Yet right it like no-one will ever read it. I used to encourage this behaviour a lot in teenagers. Yet really it’s for ANYONE. It’s funny how when you read your life in black and white, you can sort of step away from it all and look at it through differernt eyes. Then you can edit all the bits you don’t like and life your life the way you’ve always wanted to. (I’m having an odd falshback of me as a teen, trying to a get a job at Rock Island Diner at Meadowhall dressed like a slut. I was in Fuck me boots, a tight Red chinese top and a TINY black skirt that you could see my bum out of if, i bent over. I had never tried to get a job before this time, so i thought flirting with the interviewer would make me win. 🙂 Not much as changed.)

Pete’s having his teaching skills tested right this minute. He’s a driving instructor and well today he has to instructor an examiner to get him another rung up the ladder of ‘more money.’ He’s the best driver i know. (Which isn’t saying much, as i have once reversed into a Petrol station, a house and a chinese restuarant.) He’ll easily pass. He always does.

When i woke up this morning i actually found it funny that i was in the English countryside. Years ago i was trolloping out in high neon heels, under the Hollywood night stars (both sky and human) surrounded by a warm *ooze* of foolish excitement that always ended in trouble. Isn’t it funny how someone somewhere can be doing precisely that, somewhere in Hollywood and yet some other beauty is freshly waking up in the sweet british countryside, in a boudior that suggests ‘Glamour.’ We’re in the exact same little earthy ball, slowly moseying around the sun. Your own little life is not to be taken as seriously as you think it is. There’s a whole lot more going on out there than you think. HAVE FUN! People waste time on worry and stress. if you could just see the big picture know how lucky you are! I’m a girl who can always hold her head up high, no matter what anyone is saying about me. It’s how i run my ship. The sexy way! What people say, doesn’t matter. How comfortbale YOU are in your OWN story does.

Oh and quickly before i venture back off to work, which consisits of carrying a baby inmy belly, purring and writing, with cups of tea and midget gems. How ace is it that you are reading this blog with hundreds of people dotted all around this silly ball of earth. I got sent this picture and message today from a ‘just married’ fan from Lagos in Nigeria. AMAZING!

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