Malmaison Hotel Night, Maungy Ben & Sex Pesting


Right! So on Sunday night and because I’d been working my pretty little kitty socks off, Ben and I decided to enjoy a last minute ‘hotel night.’ I guess, a last minute hotel night, is sort of like a ‘date night,’ but without the ‘date.’ It’s one of those night’s that you just need, in order to find your own time as a couple, away from work, away from your natural environment and away from ‘as much as you love them’ running around after babies.

It was a rainy, wind foggy night and we’d been lunching and Christmas shopping all day with Junior. (Christmas shopping with a baby is hard. Ben’s arm went numb from having to carry Junior around and my purse went numb from quick spending in Argos and having to buy dipping cookies for my loin fruit.)

Now…even though it was shittier than shit weather, and although it took us forever to decide to pull ourselves together…we eventually got there. Ben snagged us a lift into Leeds, via his Father and within seconds we had both packed an overnight bag, (we’re great at packing an overnight bag with speed these days, as we seem to end up doing it a lot….ish.)

Plus, I reckon Ben’s super lucky, because anytime your chick’s overnight bag is this….

…she’s a Glamour Puss. So more than usual you’re in for a good night. πŸ˜‰

So anyway, I’m rambling. Ben’s dad lovingly drives us through the worst weather ever, and drops us right outside the revolving doors of Malmaison, Leeds. We did our first ever ‘Date Night’ there and Ben loves it. We both do, as they treated us so well on our ‘Date Night’ of previous, but probably because we had booked out their best executive suite….People are much lovelier to you in hotels, when you do this. πŸ™‚

Checked in. Jumped into the elevator. Got to our room. Drank half a bottle of wine and immediately ordered two Pina Colada’s and two whisky sours up via room service. (I like to drink and get ready.) Plonked on some music…And then decided that our room wasn’t big enough, so being ‘The Wunna,’ and with a booty full of charm…I tottered down stairs and got a free upgrade. πŸ™‚ (It was moderately charming, moderately aggressive..with smiling.)

Ran back upstairs? (Totally lying??? I took the lift! Lol. I don’t half talk a bag of shite.) Swung into the room, Ben had already got his straighteners and shirt out…then within seconds, I showed him the new set of room keys and said, ‘we’re moving to another room, we got an upgrade.’ πŸ™‚ (I did notice that he must have had little faith in my charm, if he had already set everything out. HAHAHA. )But regardless, we sauntered down, sexy and somewhat moody Malmaison corridors and stood outside our new room…

Swung open the door…

IT WAS SO MUCH BETTER! Life was at peace once more…and then the cocktails (that I transferred arrive!) Yay!

Now, I enjoy space and bouji’ness. A bit of luxury. But Ben (who is now a hotel snob) enjoys the rubbishy, geeky things, like remote control curtains…speakers…and little box windows for elves that even has blinds upon it. (He had his own Geek festival, whilst snacking on wasabi nuts.)

Drank cocktails. Got ready. Went downstairs to the bar for ‘hotel night’ fun!

This happened…

Β Β 

If I can do anything. I can cocktail. If Ben can do anything. he can cocktail. So we actually enjoyed a whole lot more than the above, as i definitely remember having a really spicy Bloody Mary in between. dark, cocktaily swirls…I definitely began to feel very, very merry…and when i’m merry…I chat! (I know when he’s pissed because he’ll order a cocktail..and then DOWN IT, AS SOON AS IT COMES!)

We talked about love, Christmas presents, the babies, marriage. Family, engagements….friends…all sorts! It’s good because we’re best friends and before we dated we were originally best friends, so even though we’re doing ‘in love,’ we always have ‘buddy’ moments where we just crack up at stupid shit. πŸ™‚ It’s fun. I love it. I adore him. I mean, i’ve been working so much this month, that we haven’t really had much time together…and to cut away from life and just do us, under the stars, away from everyone, makes a big difference. However, being a Mama of two, trying to run a business and having my sights set on dream home, family well being and Christmas, mean’s working hard and accumulating is a must, right now for me. I haven’t been out much at all…yet i can do that whenever….partying is always there.

So we did intend of venturing out and doing things, but when we peeked outside to see what the weather was doing, it nearly BLEW US AWAY. The wind was ferocious, the rain was a trickling. (That naggy rain, that isn’t full on…but spitty…pesty.) My eyelashes nearly blew off, ,y weave nearly Ru Paul’ed on Me. I fell off my ridiculously high, diamantee heels. (But i still looked amazing. πŸ™‚ ) Then I peeked up and Ben looked tortured by such wind…so we went with fuck it, went back to the bar, and ordered more cocktails. I mean, gosh, i can think of worst places to be than Malmaison. It was amazing! So much fun!

Unfortunately, the bar staff probably thought that they had managed to finally get rid of us! So i’m sure they were delighted to see us back! Lol. Luckily, we only did one (I think?) Then we ventured back up to the room and ordered more cocktails, then ordered room service toasties and well…i don’t know how? But we definitely got naked and out into our robes.

Now the rest is a blur. All i remember is that I got really drunk, and i found myself laid on the comfiest bed ever…and well i just sort of fell asleep. But did the kiddie ‘i’m not asleep, i’m just resting,’ thing. I’m weird because i’m like a crazy, fun time, Oriental, clockwork, doll of drunkiness! Then once i’m done…i just pass out, like my batteries have cut out!

Ben got pissed off!

Let me rewind…

Study this…


Earlier on….Ben had passed out, laid down and gone to sleep. I did nothing…and just carried on cocktailing!

Right, so i’ve passed out…well got tired. Ben is now cross because he wants more cocktails, more fun and well…he wants to ‘get lucky!’ πŸ™‚

So to get me back, in his anger, whilst i’m snoozing…he thinks that eating my leftover, room service toastie, will break me. LOL. (Please, I don’t eat carbs after midnight. πŸ™‚ ) But he ate it so angrily and so cross, that the leftover toastie, gave him the hiccups…so he was apparently storming around the room, on his own, drinking bottles of wine, like a lunatic, eating a toastie…with the fucking comedy hiccups. Dickhead. HAHAHAHAHAHA.) Men are twits! )

In the end he simply woke me up, by nudging me a lot and pesting for ‘booty,’ and well i woke up and ‘put out.’ Lol. It was actually amazing. Really fun. Good times! So i’m glad i had an ‘open eye’ moment. Our sex life is good. Even if i’m on passout mode. *Cringe.* πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚


Woke up the next morning. Laid in. Had lunch snacks.

Did more cocktails.

Went to Archies bar and had a couple of Singapore slings..

Went to this Italian place, for more cocktail, ‘Livin Italy’ ….I think we got a Hurricane cocktail…a pitcher… and it was lovely, because i just love Italians. πŸ™‚ Booyah!

Got home. Got the babies. Then Ben ruined life by making me go to the 24hr, Tesco, to buy a fucking frying pan.

Welcome to Wunnaland!

Love you!


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