Lunch with My Bitch Samuel November 12, 2009 by Chrissie Hey babies. I’m drunk so bare with me. The wine went straight to my head. Okay, so i did lunch with my sex slave of dirt with a new (jealous much) ‘sugar daddy’ Samuel today, in Camden. We do every Thursday, coz we can and well today we ventured off to ‘The Village’ aka The Hippie Place, that gives you free semen shots if your ‘Paris Hiltons British Best’ McBuddy. I didn’t get one. Infact, i didn’t get anything but stared at my innocents due to my ridiculous ‘made of faux fur’ attire. I meet Sam in an alley every Thursday, whilst i sell pills & my body to minors and this time as he skipped down, he took one look at me and pissed himself laughing at my outfit. Hahaha!! I was hovering in an alley way in giant ‘I’m off the telly’ sunglasses, white faux fur and too much bronzer. More is more! We hugged, we giggled, we took out Pregnancy Wraps (eat one and you’ll fell all plump and sexy and like you can make babies) back to his Office, after gossiping about our love lives, work and cocktails. All the boys fancy him and take him to champange dinners. All the boys apparently fancy me and leave me BBM’s that tell me i’m a ‘waste of their time.’ Hahah!! (I shouldn’t find that funny, but i showed Sammie, by BBM at a cash machine and well we looked at each other and pissed ourselves. Maybe it is me afterall?? Oh fuck it, it’s not. I’m a whole lot to handle. And i love it. I test every gentlemans manhood. Boys need not apply. Can’t remember what happened now? I remember seeing wine and wanting to trash the place. But i had the best time ever. We slagged people off, discussed going to Vegas in our pyjamas, having our own show, fucked and since nobody was in the Office, where they promote music artists, daytime drinking and Tinchy Stryder, we stuffed our faces, and slapped on ‘The Wonder Girls’ (who i am now obsessed with..it’s an all asian girlband, apart from one that might be secretly black) and they are AMAZING! After worshipping them and checking our Facebook stalkers, lovely TWITTER fans and comparing notes, and getting lost in a world of fabulous fantasy, Samuel decides he’s going to show me what’s in his office toilet, to slap me back to reality! HAHAHAH!! OMG!! By this time another young lady had joined us and all i did was look in it, do a face of sheer terror and shout ‘WHO WOULD DO THAT!!!’ The contents of it was…delicious. It was like ‘Here bitch this is your life.’ He walked me out, (with a giant black garbage bag) after i merrily hung out and we took a million pictures that i managed to fuck up, by accidentally deleting them all off my camera, with a simple button push after we tried to make you feel jealous buy documenting our amazing lives, and all that was left was the above shot of my fur back. Hahah!! This is why you don’t put me in charge of ANYTHING. All i had to do was not touch anything and carry the camera back home. Now all the pictures are GONE! I”m jealous because i can’t believe he actually has a gentleman who is offering to be his ‘sugar daddy’ just because he’s a huge fan and like he doesn’t even have to ‘put out,’ or anything. Lucky bitch! (I’m more like I’ll pay YOU ‘put out!!’) Then we played with my boobies. He called them ‘loose‘ outside a sandwich shop, (they actually moved…refund much) and then i talked to a hot brazillian boy that was on our show! We discussed matching oufits by a bin…coz we’re going to the Shipwrecked Reunion thing. He advised me to apologize to ‘Lashes‘ but i’m not going to out of that good old Wunna Pride and yeah i’m in love with Marvin. (I’m gonna get back to drinking.) Ciao.