Meet me in the alley at 1pm!!’ Yes my darling little bundles of joy! Today it’s Thursday! And what happens every delicious Thursday afternoon for a big boobied Glamour McPussy?? Indeed! I lunch with Mr. Samuel J Hextall (aka Paris Hiltons British Bestie) where we gossip & giggle and recap on our merry lives. I really love Lunch with Sammie. It oddly adds some sort of stability in my life. And god did we look cute as hell today! Even the builders thought so! *whistles.* I made a concious effort to look as ‘normal’ as possible. He took one look at my legwarmers & said, ‘You could never look normal.’ (He wore red skinny jeans! HOTT!)
Okay, so we went to The Village in Camden. I had a Pregnancy wrap, he had a yummy soup & warm Xmas milk and this time we got to sit at the ‘POWER’ table…all candle lit, before he destroyed it and well we talked about where we wanted to be in life and exotic lands. Then I stared at grannies until they felt So awkward they had to compliment me…(it’s my new tactic for attention,) as we dreamed of better times, dinners under the ocean, champagne with Mr. Sanderson, hotel room birthdays and found a tiny picture of a really hot boy in The Guardian, who Samuel immediately added to his Facebook. (There you go boys, you could be NEXT!!) I’m a much easier pull. You just have to nod, and i’ll give it a ‘go.’
After lunch we went for a stroll, as work is a bore and OMG i found my new luscious love which is a GIANT Buddha…like the size of my dear self…made out of Disco Ball. To DIE for much!! It’s £419…on sale. (Looks in her bra for any spare change.) I want it!! Then Samuel out did me, by wanting a baby, a cat, a dog and a £100 mirror that has magical Toy Soldiers around it. We love Christmas and can’t wait. But i think we’re both in need of an ADVENTURE… new pastures, More ‘ooh laa.’ Although our exteriors may seem all candy floss, pink champagne and bunnies. There’s a lot we want to do…a lot we want to see. A whole world we want to experience. I’ve experienced most of it. ( She remembers being sold as a slave in Burma.) And well it’s a time in his life where he wants to ‘venture.’ (I totally want the jacuzzi tub for ten, room for my birthday!)
We sauntered down the high street, being glared at a lot…I feel like we got a lot of attention today. My tits did us proud and after buying Camden news out of magazines we ran into Fans!! I like this part of our life! Don’t think we don’t have fans who have just come of out Junvenile detention centres…coz we do!! We got stopped by this excited little girl, who had beaten 3 police officers in the face and well was one her way to community service, yet was going to be late because we were distracting her. ‘Back in the slammer’ much. Then she told us not to go places where ‘rockers’ went. Yeah, we know! Last time we did, we ended up fighting a mosh pit. Mosh pits don’t go with my outfit.
Other than that…life is great. I’m beginning to realize how lucky I am to be alive and well be….ME. (Haha…) Tonight, i’m going to dinner with a delicious lovely and tonight my darling bitch of a sex symbol Samuel, will be going to hang out with Mariah Carey. (Aaah it’s a hard life!) We’ve had an amazing year!