Platform 1. A great platform to be chilling on. This is how I chilled on Platform 1 today..
…which led to one of the luckiest days i’ve had in months!
Right, so last night life was great. The home was filled with calm, happy, cheeriness. There was no tension. No awkwardness. Just Ruby, Junior and I…equipped with smiles & whole hearts.
Keiran (who i’m not actually speaking to) had gone away to work for a week and well i felt like I could finally breathe. He had been a massive ball of stress and negativity, tried to spread it through the family by moaning, yet instead decided to just take it out on me. His last words were a blank faced, ‘I’ll be back in a week’ (as he peered through a gap in the bedroom door.) Followed by ‘Send the kids my love,’ which was code for ‘i’m stating that i don’t wish you anything,’ as it was delivered with a very deliberate attitude.
All was well at home. Ruby had been gleefully skipping around all evening, as Junior giggled and bounced around with his ‘clever hands’ in his bouncy chair. Time was flying by. Rubes didn’t want to go to bed, as playing had got the better of her. I was relaxed. I was happy. I was texting. THEN at around 8.30pm the patio door *flusts* open and in throws Keiran, who says nothing, walks through the living room and straight into the kitchen, after making eye contact with me and then just ignoring me.
As soon as he entered Wunna land immediately filled with tension, stress and a hideous swirl of the negative…and without a cherry on top. It felt awful. He then came in and joyously played with Ruby and Junior…with short digs delivered toward me by, via the fine art of an abrupt body language. He paced around, in between bit of playing with the children and then had the cheek to turn around and say to me, ‘WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT THE YOU HAD SIGNED FOR THE BATTERIES!!??! THEY WERE DELIVERED HERE AT 12.15, BEFORE I HAD LEFT. YOU SIGNED FOR THEM AND DIDN’T TELL ME.’ Again, he delivered this with an angry ‘sonic boom’ of negativity…all bitchy…and idiotic.
I mean, there is certainly something very wrong with a man who chooses that to be the very first thing he says to the girl he has chosen to marry. I’m angry at him for what has happened and for his dismissive attitude, which later became dolloped over with deceit and trying to screw me over, after I had just aided his welfare. I have reason not to speak to him. He has reason to apologize. The thing is when by the time he left, we were still not speaking, but he sort of said ‘bye’ as he walked out of the door..in a fashion that ‘maybe’ stated that he deep down wanted some kind of union. I said nothing then. I ignored him. The thing is when you have an major disagreement and when it hasn’t been immediately settled, (he dismissed me when I tried to talk,) it begins to grow way out of control and soon the littlest things like a parcel, turn into an argument..and this grows and grows and grows. Plus, if you’re filled with negativity towards that person, you see the story in a distorted light.
Long story short, the parcel that he shouted at me for, (that he in his ‘distorted light’ decided to place his own version of events onto) actually arrived AFTER he had left. So once again, just as he had done the previous day, had jumped to his own version of the truth and bollocked me for it. A trait of his that i’ve been sick of for months. My mum was even here when his parcel came and I later proved that particular point, when she arrived which left him with ‘egg on his face’ and a his tail between his legs. My first parcel even came AFTER he had left and he knows this because I WASN’T EVEN HOME when he was packing to leave. HE WAS. (Oooh and thanks Ann Summers for my pressie. Please all don’t forget that i’m part of the ‘O’ team and I currently have a toy being sold on the shelves of Ann Summers, as part of the range. It’s the purple ‘Learning Curve’ for your ‘bum bum,’ 🙂 GO BUY IT, so i can have my ego massaged.)
Anyway his answer to all this was, ‘Well I was TOLD it was signed for at 12.15 by YOU.’ He said it bitchily, instead of appropriately. I mean an ‘Oh gosh, i’m sorry,’ wouldn’t have gone a miss. Followed by a ‘I must’ve been told the wrong time.’ Instead he AGAIN accused me of doing something I hadn’t and when you’re already in trouble for conclusion jumping …it’s not great to maybe make the same mistake THE NEXT DAY. Ladies…good men know how and when to say sorry! This like the day before yesterday cancel out romantic anniversary getaways. I’m weirdly finding life quite comfortable without him and that’s odd really isn’t it?
So for a moment yesterday evening, I had a nasty surprise of him returning. However, the good thing was that after an hour….he left. As soon as he left, life went back to normal and my heart filled with joy once more and the air misted over with a candy coloured harmony of love bunny. He only had to come home to pick up the package, so hopefully he WILL actually be gone for the rest of the time now. I don’t appreciate bad surprises. (Please do send me gifts fans. 🙂 I like good surprises…and gifts, gifts, gifts! 🙂 But not ones that you have jilted out of your willy. And I am referring to spunk and not children. I have 2 already. )
Woke up this morning and we had never been so delighted. Both kiddies were oddly so well behaved because the tension had lifted and life was back to ‘free.’ Junior and I cuddled and giggled at each other, until Ruby woke up. Then we all ventured down stairs to get ready for nursery and watch a little Peppa Pig. (I spent part of the evening having to decipher, each and every Peppa Pig pasta shape with Ruby last nigh before she ate them. She’s never had them before because she’s always craved salmon or steak. But yesterday she really wanted them for some reason and it was a joy for my bank balance. A 1 minute meal for 53p. THANK YOU LORD. She just had it as a snack, yet being the control freak that she is, before she ate any of them she HAD TO KNOW which character each pasta shape was! I mean, I don’t flipping know. Half of them were arms less, broken and headless. It looked like the hospitalized version of the show. But if I said the wrong thing, she wouldn’t accept my carelessness. She knew if I was really trying hard to guess, or just fobbing her off. In the end she simply stuffed them into her mouth, laughing as I looked at her and said, ‘Rubes..Mummy doesn’t get it. Just eat them.’ It’s like she enjoys to mentally manipulate people. Not another one! What is this family!!!! My two year old can already tease me and mind game me. She even gets sarcasm already. She’s two!)
This morning everything changed. My mum picked the kids up and took them to nursery and I actually had the morning to myself to just chill for an hour and do my face, get showered, get ready and go to my meeting. I through on the ‘Corporate Barbie’ dress and weirdly decided that I was brave enough to figure out how to drive somewhere, that I couldn’t for the life of me, with my zero sense of direction, know how to get to.,..even though i’ve been a million times. Once i knew that it would be stupid for a taxi to take me on a journey that is literally 7 minutes by car, I winged it…and went for it….and at the last minute, so i could’ve missed my train.
I get super scared when driving because i never know where i’m going. But today…and even though i panicked and got lost in the woods, but found a farmer who laughed at me and gave me proper directions, (I was literally driving up a dirt lane in the middle of numerous giant fields, all alone, in my silver Mercedes, dressed as ‘Corporate Barbie’ with Britney Spears playing in my car and stopped a young boy farmer to help. He thought I ‘wasn’t from these parts.’ I from ‘up the road a little.’ I just just co-ordinate an outfit a bit better and have a mum who can buy me a car as a Christmas gift.
Bottom line…I DID IT. I got there! AND I WAS THERE ON PLATFORM 1….EARLY FOR MY TRAIN!!! What the fuck! You have never in your life seen a happier me. I was so over the moon I was literally CHEERING and LEAPING. It was like I had just found the winning lottery ticket. I swear. I was that much of a joyous idiot.
I never loved Platform 1 more than I did today and I guess because I was filled with so much positive energy, (I literally glowed and kept doing that face where you mouth can’t stop smiling, even when you’re trying to make it stop,) my day when from good… to better… to EVEN FLIPPING better!
So much happened. I found money. I got to my meeting, which was an interview early. My taxi driver only charged me half the fair because I was sweet to him. Juniors modelling agent called because he might be in for his first ever job shortly. (He’s 2 months old. Lol) My interview went really well. I had good hair. The weather was sunny. Then my train that I thought I would miss ended up being delayed and I managed to get on it. I travelled to Doncaster and bought me some sight, had giant burger, received a few loving text messages. I got money off my train ticket, after I accidentally bought the wrong one without realizing….then once i got to my car, i randomly just drove…and a completely different way to the route I arrived, simply because it was wrong and I was stranded. Not that i am shit at ‘just driving around.’ I’m not scared of much, but i’m scared of being lost in a car. I’m so defeated by it and I don’t know why? It terrrifies me. But within a few minutes, I randly took a wrong turn, knew where I was and then all of a sudden found myself outside my house!!! I DID AGAIN!!! I’m like some ‘sense of direction’ genius now. Going to prove that YOU REALLY SHOULD try and do something that scares you each day. Not because it’s a cliched saying…but because when you actually accomplish it, be it the smallest thing to the tallest…you actually feel so over the moon, that your entire system buzzes with happiness. It’s an addictive feeling. I’m SO PROUD OF MYSELF. I independently drove somewhere without knowing where I was going and got there and back with a smile.
Now, i’m home, relaxed and SO HAPPY that it is FRIDAY. Happy Bank Holiday WEEKEND everyone!! I have my kiddies to pick up from nursery and once i Have they are ALL MINE for the ENTIRE LONG WEEKEND. I couldn’t be more excited. I have so much planned. Plus, my Aunty and cousin are coming up. Life is wonderful.
The best thing about my journey was also the fact that I passed a fun fair whilst on the train. So, me being greatness….got off that at stop, ran over to it, bought Ruby some candy floss, a sugar dummy and a giant swirl rock lolly..she loves them and got on the next train back home.
As I tweeted…only the BEST MUMS come home with fun fair candyfloss for their two year old after a long day of work meetings and interviews. She’ll be so excited!
On the train with the goods! I had to do sneaky shots so people didn’t think I was lame for taking pictures of myself on a train.
After this moment, a very drunk, one eye opened musician shouted out to me and said, ‘YOU HAVE A GREAT SET OF LEGS.’ He then seemed to pass out in sheer drunkardness straight afterward. (Reminded me of the two times I passed out in LA. Both over being depressed because a boy didn’t love me, expect one was after tequila..in my car…after I puked on myself. And the other was in West Hollywood outside a Gay Bar on a merry go around. Luckily my gays saved me, but then ‘hit’ on my male, lawyer m, who was apparently just in his pants and dumped me on the sofa like I was some kinda dead body…in glitter. Thank God life has moved on from my 20’s! 🙂
But yeah, the drunk musician fully passed out. I don’t know if he’ll ever wake up again, yet the good thing is that at least my ‘pins’ were the last thing he saw! 😉
Keeping it sexy!
ps/ Eww…i’ve just been upstairs and he’s actually even BEEN HOME whilst I was out today. More lies. Fun. So much for ‘i’m at work.’