Loving This life & Xmas Lights

So my internets all busted, so i’m having to write this from a dodgey internet cafe in Camden, whilst children look on, and i catch AIDs from touching these slimy much keys. Some of the ‘letters’ apparently don’t work (LOL) and i’m having to sit between 101 bottles of ‘Multi surface cleaners,’ an Emo, a pervert and dog leashes. However, theres a bright side to everything, and even though i’m struggling to rummage to the ‘bright,’ I will tell you that it is actually only 50p…to use the internet here. Now isn’t tht dandy.

So far i’ve already slipped on an actual banana peel, whilst going to a shoot, and glided into a bin. A big one. What were the chances of that! I’m a legend. Don’t hate! Then some dumpty, who bores me, due to a distinct lack of humour, dared to not help me out of the bin, yet merely grab her boyfriend that little bit tighter, when i looked at him quite pathetically!! Honey…i’m not here to steal your man. Cut me some slack, i’m sitting amongst empty beer cans and broken dreams. Now let that muscle bound hero, lift me out the fucking TRASH!!! Haha…Lord help me.

I’m having a Wunnaful day today. I’m loving life. I’ve had a great year and if i play my slaggy cards right an even better next year. I’m actually back up North tomorrow morning until Wednesday, to turn on some Christmas lights. And i do mean just push a button and not try to seduce them…even though that may happen. I mean i heard Santas a bit horny.

Sarah Harding has agreed to challenge me to a drunken dance off. I WILL ‘out Robot’ her and i’m currently loving the life of Kerry Katona. I think she’s lovely and i need to lunch with her.

Social life is brimming, love life is as dodgey as ever. My boobs are all are giggles and the career is somewhat feeling far to lucky for its own good right now.

Love you lots, you little winks of an eye. (Oh and i’ve just noticed how I’M actually the only pervert in this cyber cafe! Touche’!!) People are waving at me….they think i’m Tila Tequila.

Resident Glamour Puss….signing OFF! x

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