Love, Passion and Tan Lines



I’m currently sunbathing in nothing but a ornage/pink neon flower in my updo and a pair of white filly pants. Now, I haven’t just told you that in order to strike your interest in the trouser department, (if you’re a guy.) Or even to make you frown at me, (if you’re a girl, who doesn’t quite like a female of my sort…which you are actually entitled to.) I told you that because it’s excatly how Wunna Land is operating right now. I have my little Baby Junior chilling in the shade. (He’s asleep, hence why I figured I’d fit in a little blog.) I have a vino spritzy and i’m catching some rays in the name of ‘kitten-ooh laa.’

I’m feeling quite sexy today and even though my belly still hasn’t reached ‘ping back,’ and I always feels like there’s no end in sight to my dieting…I’m feeling good. Not sure whether it’s because lots of sex kept accidentally appearing on my telly box last night with each ‘i’m bored of this’ flick. First it was Brokeback Mountain…so exactly at the humping part, my eyes were filled with gay cowboys enjoying ne anther anally in the name of love and ‘horn.’ Then I flicked over and accidentally ‘hit’ too many buttons whoich led me to Babestation. Keiran watches it all the time, when i’m asleep i’m sure, hence why he went through a period of loving to sleep on the sofa. Lol. It was okay and not really sexy. When people try too hard to be sexy they rarely ever are, are they? Plus, for me it’s all about a look, your eyes and simply what you’re doing with it. I watched, watched, had a fiddle, then got bored. It’s bizarre then watching your friends on such a station asking you to call them. The evening was over for me. I’d had such a wonderful day, so wasting the thought of my brilliant day in the sun seemed pointless.

The babies were asleep early. I shopped all day! Infact I even bumped into two lovely peeps that I Tweet on Twitter. Now, I haven’t ever met them personally, but as soon as I saw them and heard someone shout ‘Chrissie,’ I immediately knew it was them, without an introduction. That’s how all people should be. It means they make an impact! AND Hayley was in a rainbow striped maxi dress, which I truly really need. (They’re @skulpture & @ixxpoco on Twitter. AND they’re married. I love the wed!)

Day went well. Chased my butt naked Ruby around the garden after she refused to do life in clothes and intended on spending the rest of her existence in a water filled sandpit. It was mayhem. She looked like Mowgli from Jungle Book, racing around the garden, giggling and nude and I looked like a ‘Carry on film/porn star’ because I had too much lippy on for such an occasion.)

My daughter is charming and rather attRACTIVE FOR A TWO YEAR OLD. i’M GOING OT HAVE BE VEYER CAREFUL, AS SHE DOESN’T AT ALL LISTEN TO ME AND INSTEAD DELIGHTS…ACTUALLY DELIGHTS IN BEING HIGHLY DISOBEDIENT. bUT ONLY WITH me. (Oh shit! I’ve accidentally typed all that last bit in Caps Lock. Can’t be arsed to change it now. I’m sunbathing. So you’ll just have to put up with it.Plus, I can’t really see my screen, as the suns glaring on it the exact wrong way. Yippeee!  Keeping it real and all that! It’s great not being able to see the screen because I get to simply spew out my life without looking to edit it.)

Life is good right now. Keiran is still working away, so it’s just me and the kiddiwinkles, which really isn’t so bad. I haven’t really spoken to my hubbilicious at all since his departure. I’m not really a caller when he’s away. he’ll call me and I’ll always end up missing his call or text, which probably frustrates him, but hey-ho, i’m shit at calling people back when i’m married to them. 🙂 We’re all good though. Nothing exciting to report. He’s away and exited Wunna land for  while. then he comes back for two days and leaves again. It weirdly doesn’t bother me and I believe that I should practically be a bit more bothered. But at least he’s calling and checking in. I love him, yet when he’s away that part of ‘Wunna’ is simply on hold, as it never really develops any further. You can’t develop a connection with someone when they are away, in my mind. So yeah, i’ve pressed ‘hold’ and instead enjoying life with my little family in the sunny sunshine. When he’s back, he’s back and then i’ll get back to enjoying married life. It’s weird because when he calls, he’s never cutsie wootsie or adoring me with ‘God, i miss you’s’ & ‘Baby you’re beautifuls.’ He sort of talks to me like he’s just checking in with ‘home life,’ with a monotone voice, like a Father watching over a child, like an appointment, or an interview, or like I work for his company. It’s hilariously bizarre. He’ not grumpy or rude, yet not ‘him,’ or how I KNOW him. He’ not relaxed. When he’s not himself with me, then I can’t be myself. So the convos are kept brief and well it literally is just a ‘check in’ and then a quick ‘love you, bye.’ I like it when partners adore me obsessively and at all times…especially when they’re away. I want to hear it, see it, read it. I want grand displays of affection…romance…love. He’s actually just called almost 10 minutes ago and well he didn’t talk to me like I was the girl, out of all the girls in all of the world, who won his tender heart. He spoke nicely, yet without passion and excitement. It was sort of like I was this lady that he had managing his home and children whilst he was away at work. You can hire people for that. He was nice to me in that kinda manner. That’s not me. I’m Glamour Puss extraordinaire. Heellloo? You’re wife! The girl you wept for and love with every inch of your soul. Haha! Everything’s all dandy and he means well. Keiran just has many ‘fronts.’ There’s lots of versions of him and each person that knows him, no matter how long you’ve known him for is introduced to a different ‘front.’ I know HIM, when he can be nothing else but himself and well he knows me…and bizarrely seems to be able to put up with me? Even my mum said yesterday, ‘there’s got to be a catch in he can put up with you. He must want something?’ 🙂 But yes..he’s at work, so therefore with his ‘work front’ out and poking. Even when on the phone, he’s still around work people, doing ‘work front’ like things..hence why I get the odd monotone voiced Keiran who distinctly lack passion and that love bunny ‘adore me’ that i’m ever so used to. Then because he’s brief and ‘work front,’ I don’t fully invest in the conversation. I’m nice and that’s about it…and we all know being just ‘nice’ is hideous. (Oh, forgot to tell you…walked to Co-op today on my ‘buggy workout’ with Junior and a granny in a neon pink boob tube  with a giant, yet well groomed dog..stopped me and said, ‘YOU LOOK PRETTIER THAN A PICTURE, MY LOVE.’  I love moments like that. Grannies love me, even ones in boob tubes…I’m certain that it means i’m at least a lot more decent than you all give me credit for. 🙂 )  Get ya act together and all begin worshiping me. K’thanx.

Anyway, love is something you should always feel strongly and express as much as you can with a gooey whole heart. It’s the most powerful emotion in the entire world and when you’re not feeling it, you’re either not completely whole, OR you’re taking what you have for granted.  I love whole and hard and with ever cell of my being. I also fight that hard too. 🙂 But that’s because i’m filled with passion…and wine. Don’t plan for the future, wish for good things but stay in the moment. Forget the bad bits about the past. Erase then with a wiggle, but remember them enough to refrain from being as foolish the next time The Gods present you with such a moment. You’re living the story of your life and everything’s that’s happens so far is YOUR BOOK. Keep enjoying where you are, even if all seems shit. Know it’s going to get better. Don’t stress out about things that don’t matter or about what you don’t have, that others do. I actually kinda believe (from experience) that craving the things you don’t have is not too positive. It makes you cry into your own gin and be evil. If you want to get ahead, adore what you have, be thankful for it, enjoy it and love where you’re at in life (even if you’re dipped with ambition and you’re not exactly where you want to be)..once that happens and you are that way… amazing things happen to you, be it in work, life, OR LOVE. (I currently have a guy friend moaning at me because his date didn’t go as expected. After hearing his version of events…no wonder it hasn’t gone well. When in the name of romance EVER, do you ask a girl out on a date by saying, ‘well i’m skint right now, so we can’t really do anything too extravagant.’ Jesus Christ! What is it with you Yorkshire boys! In LA, the boys wouldn’t DARE speak to a girl like that. Who they are and what they have matters over there…and girls talk. If they don’t delight us to the point of ‘magical,’ we’re leaving and telling everyone that he’s a loser. So yeah..he wonders why the girl isn’t so into him. Some girls don’t mind that, I guess. But I would. Men are meant to plan the date, treat you like a Princess and woo you without complication, so you don’t have to stress about a single thing. Don’t waddle in with money and romance issues. It’s not good when you haven’t achieved a third date yet.)

Now, I have a moan on many an occasion, so i’m one who needs to remember to practice what I preach and to get on with life.

So, as i’m saying that, I can’t be bothered to do any of this anymore when the suns out, so i’ll catch ya later, i have tan lines to work on.

Keep life sexy and get everything you want. Work your way to getting to your happy, but smell the hotties…oh and the flowers…:) …along the way!




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