Love, Life & a Whole lot of Blanking

I feel on TOP of the world this morning. Best nights sleep ever and because i had emptied my ‘nonsense’ filled mind, before tucking myself into my bed, and via the fine art of ‘blogging.’ I swear it’s the most cleansing thing you’ll do. Sin, blog it out, feel free again and then begin the jiggery pokery once more. I think that’s why i’m a champion life liver, because everyday i unload all the heavy ‘bullshit’ that can send any dear pretty insane. I mean when i bottle things up, i explode. Therefore no matter what good or bad, it’s always the best choice to open up. (Fuck it’s cold and i currently have a javelin thrower, i went to school with, begging me to let him pamper me. Aaah it’s a hard life. If you must. I’m laughing because he’s currently stalking me, yet in complete denial. )

Okay so the other night, i met Virgina Leach the celebrity portrait painter at ‘Rendez-Vous’ that frozen yoghurt bar in Leicester square..which might i add was beautiful at Christmas, with the lights & the fair and the perverts. I mean i’m really honoured that she chose to paint me…as her other subjects have been Christiano Ronaldo, (HOT) Ashton Kutcher,(FIT)  the male vocalist group ‘Blake’ (Orgasm much) and someone else that i really fancied, but i just can’t remember who?? (How Typical of me. I can’t put names to faces. I have to view them horizontally.) We chatted over lattes and i think she was shocked to actually be sitting with me and having a good old chinwag. I mean, she read the blog, yet didn’t really know what to expect. Had flown in all the way from Madeira so i can could sign ten of the paintings..which i did over a counter in an ice-cream parlour, covered in pink & diamonds. LOVE that! And well what she said about me was that she knew it was me immediately from a distance, she didn’t realize how fun i would actually be. ( I like that.)  She said I was chatty, easy on the old eyes, had plenty of time for her and now she wants to do another painting that represents my personality correctly. We then did pictures, before i had to run off to meet my best friend Greggy to go to Embassy to morally support our other lovely kitten ‘Lou Lou’..who was presenting that night.

Anyhow, ‘Rendez-Vous’ is amazing. You should all go. They take exceptional care of the food that they give you. It’s almost an art. And well if you’re off the telly, look like you’re off the telly or beautiful they take exceptional care of YOU. Oh my gosh! I walked in and from that moment i made eye contact..I had everything done for me. Even my thinking. I mean i had people take my phone and answer my calls for me. I mean, why strain my arms, right?

Okay later on i run and meet Greg who was already pissed, armed with a viscious umbrella and in need of some kind of food, simply to soak up the beer. I was gagging for a drink, as although ice-cream parlours are lovely, there really is no fucking wine. I scowered that place in seconds on a mad eye hunt for booze. We eat at ‘Prive,’ talk about love, life, Los Angeles and my previous marriage. I mean Greg & Louise are like FAMILY to me, they’ve known me for almost a decade, but lived life with me, during our Hollywood youth, 24/7, they’ve seen it all, as they we’re experiencing it all with me. They know me better than anyone, we’d die for each other and well, we all have lived a life, loved a life and they were there through my whole married to Mikey phase. They KNOW know me. I’m talking deeply rooted friendship.

I love that we partied every night for 3 months straight, like when we were 20, in Hollywood, doing the acting thing…living our lives like champions, under the stars, until Louise finally passed out cold, with a cookie on her face, after having her heart broken, then re-re-broken. Greg made himself bankrupt, coz he spent all his money on cake & booze. And I simply never came back to England, and ended up married to Michael. God we were sooo in love and well i still  love him. He’ll always have part of my heart. We’re really different people but it just worked. He claims he was raised by hungry pack of wolves & well i claim i was raised by drag queens & drunkards. I’ll never find what we had, in another. Even to this day, we’re great with each other. There’s this ‘pull.’ This force beyond our means. This ‘magic’ that will never be forgotten. I’ve tried to replace it, a lot of times with others & well…. it’s impossible. My divorce was the destruction of the innocent lovely me. And the early beginnings to this character called ‘Chrissie Wunna.’  Now, i’ve come full circle. Yet it took me 7 years!

So Embassy was fun. We got the 10 star treatment. We were laiden with bottles & bottles of free wine at our table and i felt strong and whole, because i had Greg & Louise sort of emotionally guarding me. It was also great because i finally got to meet ‘Adonis.’ Her beautiful hero. What an amazing soul. I love Adonis! I secretly want one. Greg kept trying to put him through tests. I kept trying to get him drunk. Louise believes Mike & I are made for each other. It took me back in time. It made me think.

Anyway, along with any good time in Wunnaland there’s always got to be a bad, right? Okay, so yeah, i’m at Embassy, i’m feeling on top of the world. I’m there to support my Lou lou, and i look up to my left and there’s Jonny and for me immediately everything turns umcomfortable. And i really don’t know why? Greg spots this immediately, and knowing me well, we agree that it’s better for me to simply ignore him, to avoid confrontation, gossip and all the superifical ‘hey, hi’s’ that i don’t like.

 Now, i don’t dislike Jonny at all. Infact, we’ve had recent phone conversations since where apologies we’re made things we’re smoothed over. However, i need more time, as we’re only okay when it’s sort of just him & I..but infront of people…he acts differently & thats because he’s only a kid. Plus, smoothing things over on the phone, is dandy. But he has actually never had the balls to look me in the eye and just say ‘sorry.‘ And sometimes that’s all it takes. Therefore, even if there’s an apology telephonically, the actual last time i saw him in person was when he was completely wasted, falling all over a bus, with a boy that was calling him his boyfriend, whilst he was calling me, ‘Old, Poison & worthless,’ then telling me he only ever dated me to ‘use me for money & that i was so stupid for even believing that he ever really cared.’ He’s said sorry for a lot of other things. Kinda even danced around a ‘sorry’ for that one. But he’s never to my face, been a man, or a good friend, an apologized for it. Which will always therefore make me question his motives as a person. And that’s pretty much why i Wunna ‘blanked’ him. Touche.’