London Filming…and Dildos

Life couldn’t be more delicious right now. Everything is accidentally free-falling, yet landing in it’s exact right place, i’m feeling confident, i’m feeling sexy, Ruby is an absolute delight and i am 100% bursting with love for my gorgeous ‘Handsome Keiran.’ (I watched him sleeping on the sofa just now and i couldn’t even believe how lucky i was to have him in my life.) He looked at me today and told me i was ‘the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.’ When you hear the man of your dreams not only say that, but at the same time show you that he means it through love, kindness, laughter and the most piercing eyes of ‘ooh laa’…you go all gooey-wooey on the inside and thank Cupid that you have found your ‘forever.’ We’re a proper little family now and well over the last week, we’ve become sooo close that even the tiniest giggle could make any heart melt with ‘awww.’ I’m happy and when i’m happy i’m strong. When i’m strong i feel sexy. When i’m sexy (add wine here) i’m GREAT! Like QUEEN of the WORLD GREAT! [Applause please.]

Okay so Wunna Land is still all ‘go-go.’ Just when we thought we had a little bit of a breather…we find our alarm sounding off at 6.00am and we’re grooming, baby changing, showering our tans off, rushing around, calling taxis and jumping on a train to London Kings Cross for our next little random adventure. Lovely weather yesterday. Couldn’t have been a better day! We had to take Rubes along with us, due to us not having time or anyone to help us with the nursery run. What i’m adoring about life right now, is that we’re all in it together. Wherever i go, i tow my little family with me. There we were giggling in our table seats on route to London where i was headed to film a little ‘something something’ and audition a little dolly bit for a brand new show. (I hope i did well.)

Anyway, the train journey was great, filled with bacon butties, side stepping, phone emails and me trying to totter down wonky train isles, in a lilac ‘booby’ dress and black stillettos. I’m sure i must’ve elbowed at least 42 people in the head by accident. But ah well, a *wink* can solve anything…and well i did do it with a bacon butty in my hand and infact also with the glitzy fruit of my loins, in one arm, who had quite glamourously pooed herself out of excitement.

We got to London, in what seemed like sunshine, hung around for a bit at a Kings Cross coffee shop for an hour, as Keiran walked Rubes up and down the store and paraded her upon a giant table, where she performed for any moment of ‘look at me’ that she could get. I’m quite aware that i’m birthed an attention seeker. Yet i can’t think of anything better than having a daughter and a hubby to be who are nothing short of ‘Me, ME, Attention, NOW!’ Add a tanned hero body, a kitten with the ‘ooh laa’ in her eyes and a baby with the giggles and a bow and you have the perfect little Wunna Land family. We’re all really happy right now and for once in my life, i wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. I feel really lucky!

After an hour, buying bananas, being over charged and running to a cash machine, we taxied over to Clapham, so i could have my go at a bit of auditioning for a show that i would really really adore to do. I’m really excited about it and well i trundled in all over eyelashed and loud mouthed, with my ‘handsome’ hubby to be, Ruby and a smile. There were already quite a lot of girls there, equipped with name badges, release forms and little personal bits of sexy. The team, the crew, the production, the everyone, where absolutely lovely to me. As the other girls sat down and got ready for their moment, i stood by the window, in my heels and boobs, playing to baby Ruby and admiring my hottie Keiran for being sooo wonderful.

I can’t tell you much about it all, (because i don’t want to jinx anything) but the day was marvellous. I had so much fun and felt comfortable, sizzle and absolutely giggly. Anytime you are going to an audition and you have a pair of zebra print frilly knickers in your hand, a camera in your face, being asked about your sex life, all at the same time as being a mum and a wifey to be, you know life is amazing. Infact delicious! I loved meeting everyone. I loved filming. I loved being a part of it all and i loved that i managed to take my little family…and all in chandelier diamantes, oh and a yummy orange tan. 🙂

Long story short, mid audition…where i got to chat to Jacqueline Gold (an amazing woman) who is the actual OWNER of all Ann summers store, (she looked beautiful, powerful, playful, yet gentle all at the same time,) she asked me to bring in Keiran and Rubes for a chat. Therefore off i tottered, up a little wooden stairway, to swing open a door and shout (ever so glamourous) in.

Keiran had no idea what was exactly going on and well Rubes loves anything right now, where everyone is looking at her. Jacqueline then asked Keiran, who was now stood next to me, in a room full of woman and other naughty delights, with Ruby in his arms and two cameras filming his every word…all about our sex life. (We’re both really open about it all anyway.) He blushed, he smiled and then he told them everything….which i loved because i had told them everything also moments before. I loved it. Really loved it.

After about 15 minutes, she then asked him to look around the room and inspect a few tables which we’re glamourously decorated with..wait for it…dildos 🙂 and liquorice allsorts and to then tell her what he liked. It was just surreal, funny and completely out of the blue. It was brilliant.

Anyway, we did all that, it ended up being brilliant. We filmed a little more and Jacqueline gave me a box of Jelly men, which are Jelly Babies, but with boners LOL…to give to Rubes, (who had been filmed that day also and who tried to snatch her diamond ring 🙂 mid-‘aww aren’t you cute.’)

After the audition, we hung around for a bit of lunchy and a few celebratory drinks. Keiran was shocked, giddy, but happy. I was delighted, delicious and over the moon. We had a couple of drinks, settled at The Belle Vue bar, got a driver to take us to the train station at 7pm and got on a train back to Yorkshire just in the nik of time.

I can’t believe how wonderful life is right now. We’re having so much fun. As soon as we got home, Rubes conked out after her milky bottle fix on the sofa and well Keiran and I celebrated our end of the day with a bit of nookie nookie. He was really sexy last night and bent me over for a gorgeous hump of hubby love. I love rumpy with him. I’m madly in love. It feels perfect.

We’ve had a marvellous morning, more sex (in my fur boots), Rubes is at nursery, i’m trying to sort out all my book stuff, i’ve over spent of Keiran’s upcoming birthday surprises, i’m missing my mum, i’ve bought a scrap book and i’m doing it all with a wink.

What more can i say? Be the hero of YOUR LIFE. Love who you are, who you’re with and the life that you live. Keep it sexy and you will make all your dreams come true. ( I cannot believe we met Jacqueline Gold yesterday, talked to her about our sex life. Lol. Amazing. AND we got Jelly Men with boners! Brilliant. Life couldn’t be more magic!) #veryhappy

Big wiggles,





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