Morning lovelies! I dreamt that it was 10 am outside, when really it was 10 pm. Rubbish dream really, yet very telling. (Can anyone say, ‘Whack job!)
I’ve just this second, exchanged words with our dreamy gardener, ‘Robin’ (appropriate name.) Who funnily enough is so much hotter up close, than i ever imagined!! Not that i haven’t seen him up close. He’s just usually in the flower beds, poking at old over- grown bushes!! (Ooooh, it’s a dandy!) Anyway, he was at my kitchen door, whilst i was posing in my dressing gown, all rugged, blond, covered in soil and handsome, but unfortunately asking for £70. (How not very ‘Mills and Boon’ of him.)
Okay, so for the first time ever, ‘Robin’ used the ‘what isn’t being said’ moments to get a quick flirting session in…but with his eyes. (Thank God, i had my face on!! ) For some reason, i got really shy (probably because my dad was behind me, waving a walking stick in his face and scowling. He looked like an grumpy arsed Mr.Miyagi,) then my ‘not so shyness’ got the better of me, and i decided to tell him he was delicious, followed by odd, ‘i’m thinking about sex’ faces, (even though i was thinking about tea.) I always do ‘good time’ faces, when i know boys are looking, even though i’m trying to pretend i don’t know they’re watching me. (Tramp alert!) Shut up! You all do it!! I don’t know anyone who doesn’t??? I’ll even have fake cell phone conversations with myself, if i don’t have anyone with me, to aid the ‘good time’ faces. It works…makes me look fun, busy and popular. Gives boys boners! (Yes, i am a Loser)
Anyway, i simply told him, i didn’t have £70 on me and with an exchange of winks, smiles and nods….i slammed the door in his face. Booyah!!! Wow! That was a short affair! Until the next time my Sweet! (Mwahahahahaha!) Robin’s actually the perfect little gent, yet i just keep imagining all the ‘Cougars’ he probably has to do the ‘naked hat dance’ with, in our ‘my husbands always away on work trips’ village. Poor soul! Bet he loves it! I can’t wait until i’m of ‘Cougar’ age.
‘YOU is Naaaaaaaaaaaaaasty!!’