Today, I dedicated life to being on ‘holiday mode,’ but whilst i wasn’t actually on holiday and whilst I didn’t have an umbrella drink in my hand. You know those days. It’s the days where in which there really is ‘stuff’ to tend to, but you can’t really be bothered to tend to the ‘stuff’ efficiently, so instead you smile, chitter chatter, enjoy people, banter and laughs. I enjoy ‘holiday mode.’ It’s my favourite. Yet it’s be nice to experience such a mode, whilst sunbathing in the Caribbean, with a Pina colada attached to your right kitten paw.
I’ve also decided that I’m not that lucky. I’m lucky, when it comes to life. I have a great family, great babies, a great boyfriend, great opportunity…all sorts. Yet when it comes to taking a tiny gamble, like a scratch card moment, a waiting for the ‘say yes’ call or whatever…i’m shite, when the dice is rolled. I’m not that lucky, when it comes to the things that don’t truly matter when you look at the big scale of life. But i’d like to be…on occasion…so yeah, that sucks. : ) *Hairy balls.*
I’m missing Ben. I’m surrounded by good friends though. The children are being happier than ever and i’ve taken my ruddy toe separators off. I don’t have the patience to let something that like do it’s magic. I’m an instant fix kinda gal. And well, when something kills, even though it’s beneficial, i always balls it up. Lol.
Online shopping has been curbed. See, how good I am. I’m doing great at saving. I’m doing great at prioritizing…I’m doing great at being sensible. But no one really wants me to be sensible, do they? Lol. They want me to be ‘Wunna’ and ‘skin to the wind’ it with drama, glitter and cocktails.
I’m looking forward to giving Jenna her birthday gift, that I now have to give her on Valentines Day simply because her birthday had passed by the time, I had sorted it all out, and when a moment passes, it becomes less alive, right? Yet, since it’s the week of love, it gives it more meaning. To Me (and I make no sense) it’s a great reason to gift her with ‘birthday,’ as it relights a moment, with life.
How you all doing? Okay?
Thanks for reading this by the way, i’m having a gin and tonic, out of a can, as the babies are fast asleep and i now have nothing to do. Lol. I mean, fuck it, I might put my toe separators back on, simply to regain some kind of excitement. However, now that i’m older and wiser, I appreciate sensible moments with greater grace. It feels good to not be squander my fine earned pences on shitty nights out and all sorts of Tom Foolery.
By the end of this year, I will have done amazingly and simply by accident. I really can’t wait. Being old (even though i moan about it) ROCKS. My Mum’s looking at Me, like she couldn’t be prouder. (Means a lot to all of us, when that happens. I have a good Mum, so she’s always proud. However, right now, she’s especially proud and it’s great because I have one of those wonderfully ‘honest with her daughter,’ Mums. She doesn’t blow smoke up my arse when i’m doing badly. She guides me and points out improvements. Then ofcourse celebrates when i’ve accomplished stuff. That’s how I know I have an ace Mother, because she won’t just tell me i’m awesome, or stick up for me, when i’m wrong or being a shit. She’ll tell me, show me and let me decide on my next decision, yet she’s trained me well to make the right decisions now…so all’s good. It took long enough. But we got there. Lol I don’t like Mum’s who watch their kids do shitty things and try and make excuses for them. It doesn’t benefit anyone…it just let’s everyone live in a world of glorious pretend. And that’s not good for anyone.)
As if i’ve gone on a ‘Mum rant.’
I need the gin to kick in.
I’m off next week and i really can’t wait. I only have two more days and then i’m free as a bird! Yipppeee!
I’m feeling bloated and like i need pie, but that’s part and parcel of your ‘almost time of the month.’
Life is good. Hope yours is tooooooo! x