For some reason, this weekend’s been stressy. I don’t know why it has, as i’ve had this unbelievably AMAZING fucking week of ‘dreams come true? In fact, so unbelievable…that it sort of became a bit stressy because that’s what I do. All turns out roses and I go around trolloping around the garden in a panic and start stomping on them by accident sauced up, out of fear! 🙂 Can all this great stuff happen to me once? Do I deserve it? Am I that amazing? 😉 (Wiggle…Giggle.) I mean, my psychic did say that the ‘hard stuff’ in my life was now over…and the rest of my life would be ‘charmed.’ Right? I’m super lucky and instead of stressing about it, i’ve decided to have my wine, centre myself, pull in the ‘flap’ (oh GOD, it sounds mucky again. HAHA.) I simply mean stay focused and leave the ‘tizzy’ behind me. I get quite excited and very easily. My nature is that way inclined. I’m happy go lucky, more than I am cynical and brash, yet I sometimes forget to ‘centre’ and focus. Y’know, GROUND MYSELF, before the starry storm starts. Before you know it, i’m ‘can can’ dancing, shooting rockets into the skies and popping open champagne sprays over innocents, whilst screaming ‘Yeehaa’ and totally in celebratory nipple tassles.
I’m staying calm. Staying focused. Calm. Focused. Not getting into a tizzy and not getting terrified. 🙂
But to give you insight…I’m actually going to do it..i’m actually going to ride up that Success ladder…lashes n’all. It made me eat handfuls of carbs today, well that and alongside it being my Mum’s pre birthday love. (I gave her her present early simply because I couldn’t wait. I’m all about treating my Mama these days and well let me just say…we’ve been through a lot together, some good, some bad, some weird…but no matter what our family has always remained so close we’re tighter than tight. We’re best friends. And since being a Mum myself…a single one (which my Mum, luckily didn’t have to stiletto through) I’ve kinda found an even grander appreciation for her. She helps me a lot and if anything, she needs a rest! Lol.)
Another thing! Keiren had Ruby and Junior on Friday and OH GOD, nothing was worse than getting home after visiting Chris at the Glassroom, to an EMPTY, DARK, COLD HOUSE! It was awful, tot he point where I have no clue how anyone does it. And it’s not just the ‘oh i feel lonely’ thing that’s shit. It’s the ‘where is the love and energy that I’ve created’ thing? There’s usually a bustle, a buzz, a swirl. Yet there was just me…mildy tipsy…but just me. In fact being tipsy made it worse. I flicked on my living room light to nothing, turned on the tv, simply for noise. I poured a wine and had a weep. HAHAH. I always cry when the babies have a ‘stay over.’ I’m shit at being okay with it. I enjoy the fact that i have time to focus on work, to make their bread and butter, but one they’re not around me…i miss them, the juggle, the madness. THE LOVE.
I left everything on and went to bed. I wasn’t depressed. I’m the opposite to that. Lol. It just sounds depressing. It was only one night and I was getting up for work in the morning. Plus, i’m usually with my parents or at least someone but my Mum had gone out on a birthday dinner with friends. So, I was on my lonesome. I have no idea how Keiran does it? He definitely chose badly, as it must be quite hard for him to go home to that sort of emptiness…especially when you know 10 minutes away there’s your would’ve been ‘family’ swirling around in merriment, making memories together. I’m glad that i don’t have to do it very often. I count my blessing every time! 🙂 🙂 🙂
I shopped today in Doncaster. Bought a coat, simply because i’m always freezing. My coats are little fur bits. So I got one of those pink Soda parkers, with a pink fur hood. 🙂 Classy! I swear, we’re gonna have shit weather and when we do, i’ll look like the hottest eskimo on the block. Don’t HATE. I didn’t buy shoes though. We apparently need protective shoes for work? To me that means something completely different. I’ll buy black stilettos and wear them like champions to protect me from the ‘uglies’ who want to forward me pictures of their genitals. I’m sure that’s what he means. However, fuck it…i went with not bothering,as I always misread ‘the memo.’ I’m not buying shoes unless they’re glammy. If you strut into or out of anything..you need your heels to be divine.
Gay Adam sent me a message! A picture one that showed my book, ‘Diaries of a Glamour Puss’ wedged between ‘The Greats’ of English literature. Apparently now i’m going to have to slum it and get buried at ‘Westminster Abbey’ with those great, writey folks. 🙂 I always thought that Greek Gods in Togas would carry me off into the distance, or that i’d be buried in a glitter swamp under rainbows and people hysterically weeping at my loss. But whatever…you can’t win’em all. Westminster it is!
Right, i’m off. I’ve got my business plan to read and my application for investment to finish off. Things take ages when you’re a single Mum, but i’m headed upwards! Trying to date, being Mum, working a day job, having a social life, running a business and being simply Wunnaful is hard, but i KNOW that i can fit all the pieces of this jigsaw together and make it work in my favour.
You can toooooo…
So, yeah..be productive and all that shit. 🙂
Ps/ I’m loving ‘Celebrity Big Brother’ this year, even though it has been a bit stressy to watch. I’ve been reading up on everyone’s thoughts on Katie Price entering the house and well to be honest, I LOVE IT! I personally think she looked amazing, that she was genuinely nervous and that it was refreshing to have her back on my telly screen, where she sort of belongs. Can’t we just give her a chance yet. She’s a veteran at this..she’ll do something ace that will make us enjoy the rest of the show even more. Plus, she’s a grown up now. Grown ups are a bit more sensible…usually. (Not you Perez.)