Let’s Mate not Hate

I’ve had the most wonderous day of marvel. An AMAZING day of luxury, ‘chill’ and that old Wunna Magic. I’ve really celebrated life this jolly afternoon, after a pretty decent ‘wake up,’ (don’t worry, i will stop being sickenning shortly) and i therefore decided to spend the day doing what i do best. I believe these things are loving, living, fun and grooming. I went for ‘grooming’…because i was feeling mildly selfish. But i will tell you that, spending a WHOLE day on a bit of a ‘groom’ kinda makes you feel good. It makes you feel special, fresh and ofcourse my dearest dolls of ‘ooh’….delicious! I take one day out of every week, to spend on ‘pamper.’ When you take care of yourself, it means you put yourself in a place of importance…it’s like YOU matter and well you do. Don’t forget that. I’m a normal girl, i’m just presented well.

I was then going to tell you about how i spent part of my day wrongly judging boys on their height. I’m under the misconception that if you’re tall enough, you’re old enough. I’m judging age on HEIGHT now! I mean, i’m only 5ft 4, (which astonished someone today) therefore everyone (part from children and Mini Me)  is taller than me. I like men who are taller than me, therefore i must like ALL men. Like if you’re 16, and i have to look up to you due to height, i will confuse you with ‘being ‘a grown up man’ and i’ll probably date you. I’m like some tragic ride (ahem) at the fairground…One that’s a bit broken down, but you can tell it looked good in it’s ‘hey day,’ which has one of those wooden boards in the shape of a man, that states you have to be ‘this tall’ to ride. Come on fellas! 5ft 5 and above. *wink pout*

Everyone’s being rather wonderful to me right now. My life is quite full of love, kindness, and a slice of sexy ‘sass.’ I was feeling all kinds of ‘ontop’ of the world, then you ruin my dream of a sheer delight, ‘Eman Muse’ from Toronto, and you send me this little treat of an ‘inbox,’ via the fine art of Facebook: (A clean edited version)

‘Pretty unfortunate how you have to show your body in order to feel beautiful on here. What a damn shame. Woman (I think you mean ‘women’)  like YOU are the reason when they (What? Lesbians?) finally find a woman like me (an evil one) that they will take home to their mother. Btw really and truely you’re not even that beautiful.’ (Not what ur boyfriend said. 😮 )
Now i usually ignore people, who send me treats of this kind, because i get a lot of it, and well it fails to dent my ginormous ego, due to it’s sheer ginormousness. Plus, i seem to care more for those who ‘love me’ than those who ‘hate me.’ I’m good like that! 🙂 ANNNNYHOW, for some reason and spurred on with the fact that it’s a whole New Year, …i wrongly figured that most people would have chosen to be positive, rather than BITTER, 4 days into 2010 and all that. And since this behaviour disgusts me (even tho’ that one wasn’t that bad)…i figured, i’d stand up for myself, so going against what all ‘my people‘ were telling me…i sent her a message back. Oops! And it was a good one! I wasn’t remotely negative, just explained a few merry things. 😉
Pretty girl she was too. I mean, i understand that she goes through an issue with her weight, (don’t we all) but firstly, that’s not my fault and secondly let me tell you that I actually don’t think it’s ME to say anything back. Therefore lets get it right! I ‘show’ my body because i FEEL sexy. I celebrate my body and I love my body. I FEEL beautiful. I want EVERYONE to feel the way I do and not be afraid to say it out loud.  It’s like being a kid and dressing  up like a Princess, and for that tiny moment you become that Princess or that Hero. It’ s magic innit and i feel like that ALL the time.
You don’t have to look at the pictures…because  i am aware that they get a bit porny (lol,) but bare in mind that I grew up with a job as a Glamour model. If i was a tennis player, you’d probably see me knocking a few balls over a net. (Might do that anyway.) If i was a doctor, you’d probably see me saving a few lives. (I do like anatomy.) Therefore the chances of seeing a GLAMOUR model, pose glamourously with her boobs out…is probably going to be quite high! *shock horror*
Eman (my cherub)…LOVE your body, instead of hating mine. And me having no clothes on isn’t what makes me beautiful. What makes me a ‘beauty’ ( my darling wink of an eye) is the fact that i do not send people i don’t know HATE mail…EVER. I feel beautiful WITH clothes on too! (I know, awful isn’t it babes.) I tell young girls, all over the world that they are gorgeous every single day, because i know how important it is to do so. You tell Me that i’m ‘eww factor’ to make yourself feel better about yourself…which in my book, is a rather deliciously ugly trait. Now lets not be a party pooper doll face and lets give you a cuddle. (Oh and to the bitchy, ‘take you home to meet their Mothers thing’ I was gonna actually laugh that off with an ‘i’ll give you that.’ But then i figured i’d just rub it in your face, *snap* you into reality and tell you about my (yes previous) but loving marriage, my other 11 proposals, the fact that EVERYONE wants to take me to meet their mother on a daily basis and that i’m really really tragically happy.) Booyah! The funny thing is that she has never been on this Website  of whore ridden filth and was ‘telling me off’ for my… what i call the rather PC …Facebook pictures. LOL. Wow, Eman, darling, my love…..it gets a whole lot worse. HAHAHA! Welcome to ‘Being a Wunna.’ Don’t be a dickhead. You can’t ‘out dickhead’ me.
Other than that i’ve had talks with producers, and a light shone on me by MTV. I’ve met a really great boy to do business with. I’ve just had a bbm conversation with our Jonny, about ego, life, birthdays and fans. I’m tanning like a rather orange trooper. I’ve had a man from kiss my boob? I’ve been given the chance to write for a local London newspaper ( i like the idea of that) and i could really really do with a giant fishbowl sized cocktail. Oh and Celebrity Big Brother…I’m loving it! (I’ve noticed that when i get a bit too big for my boots…which i don’t understand, as all my boots fit me? Anyway…he..as in God sends me a ‘Party Pooper’ to tell me i’m not doing my job well enough. lol) Bastard!

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