Either end really! (Ooh-er!) It’s my method of pulling any handsome stranger. I stand, i glow (as in ‘Shine with Charisma’ and not ‘Be Sweaty.’ ) I drink, i pucker and hope that some devilish beast of a man will accidently fall upon my lippage. It actually works everytime. ‘Latin Lover’ says i have lips of the ‘Cocky sucky’ variety. I agree! I just walk around the streets and people want to push things against them…it’s an unfightable force and a talent worth owning.
It’s 1.15 pm and i’ve already been yelled at, been called ‘offensive.’ I’ve been text the word ‘cunt‘ (which is delicious with a crumpet…’Ooh a cunt and a crumpet’) and after telling a teenage girl that she ‘Rocks the Sexy’ was asked if i was ‘a lesbian.’ Haah! I love it! I love kids. (Not like that you dirty pervs! Well maybe a bit like that. Nooooo!) It would actually be easier if i was a lesbian. I’d never be personally invaded by a dangerous dose of the sausage police, which at times can be my weakness…(when drunky.) It’s my Kryptonite. Supermans a puff. I can handle anyone dangling green glowing rocks in my face mid- ‘Save the world.’ Try dangling something a bit more sausage shaped and my knees will go all wibbly, my heart will pound a little faster, my skirt will start riding up and i’ll be forced to submit in sheer pain. I’d be like, ‘Ah…i can save the world some other day.’ Infact, so would Superman after a couple tequila shots at ten to two. Please! He wears TIGHTS to work!
Chrissie Wunna (Bitches!) xx