Knickers, Boys & Homes

Okay, let me take you into my world for a second. I’m under a pink and crystal chandelier, i have a grey fluffy kitten, i’m dressed in the colour of ‘trench coat’ (which is beige, but ‘trench coat’ sounds so much more delicious…unless you’re the middle aged man, who wore one and then showed me his willy one lonely Doncaster night,) i’m in black stilettos and i’m being told that men date women who are the similiar to them. Whether the similarity be in looks, features, a personality trait, or a manner? Is this true? Are men attracted to women who are a version of them, if they were a girl? I’m not so sure i buy it? I mean, i think men are way more superificial than that…they just go for hot, and if you have an alright personality, they’ll stay with you…for a good while. If you’re hot and have an amazing personality, then they’ll fall in love with you. Do they really go for a girl version of them?? I mean, i go for a man who is usually the direct opposite to me. I mean, they’ll be similarities…but you can find a ‘similarity’ in anything!!! I’m gonna go for ‘thats bull.’ Unless, i get a million emails telling me otherwise. *Flicks one her right stiletto off*

Other than that, i’ve just got done being ridiculously exciting and washing my panties, knickers, under garments…whatever you wish to label them, in my bathroom sink, in bright yellow rubber gloves. I’m drying a tan…i couldn’t get water on my hands or arms. I’ve gone a delicious caramel colour, which in the natural light will look ‘ORANGE.’ But i don’t care, i’m rocking it, i look hot. Anyway, as i tweeted can tell a lot about a girl, by the knickers she wears. However, not the knickers she wears, when she knows they might end up on your bedroom floor. But what knickers she chooses to wear, when you’re not looking. You can always tell…when she washes them in the sink.

I mean, i have a really whorey boobied blond friend, who washes these odd, giant beige parachute pants, in her sink, and you would never have guessed that that would be her actual choice in undergarment.I love that about her, because it means she’s a lot different to how the many masses my percieve her…and she knows it. I remember her rinsing them out, and me telling her that i could lay them in the park and have a full spread pinic off them. I looked to the right where she had 3 pink floozey pairs drying on a rail, in a London hotel room, and with a laugh she said, ‘They’re my put out knickers.’

I washed, squeezed and rinsed mine just now. I kinda looked, (in order to study) and mine just looked like an assortment from Willy Wonkas whore cupboard…all candy, and frilly, and bright, and matchy. Then i found a pair of the old ‘big white-comfy much,’ and sighed with relief, that i could possibly still pass myself off as still virginal. My favourite type of panty is the full french knicker. I do like a fun frilly pair and i do wear them even when no-ones going to be lifting up my skirt. I’m not a keen thong wearer. But i’ll do it…if i must. I love glamourous underwear. I’m obsessed with being Glamourous, and i don’t even know why?? I love lush, rich glamour, with diamonds, and furs and pink, and gold, and deliciousness. Away from that, I’ve actually been offered a lot of money by a man in America, who wants to buy my soiled and rather glam knicker crackers…and immediately. I mean, it’d save me having to wash them. 🙂 And i’d beable to buy about 42 rounds of wine.

Tonight, i’m going to hang out with ‘Loverboy‘ at the home of his parents and i can’t find a decent, ‘i’m in the home of his parents’ outfit…which is frustrating. I have nothing, so i’m simply gonna go with, whatever i grab first. I mean, i’m going as Me. I once got thrown out of a boys Mothers home in New York, for accidentally uttering the word ‘masturbate’ infront of her dear catholic self. I can’t believe i did that!! But in my defence, she did deliberately get me drunk, in order to question Me. UGH! However, tonights not like that, because his parents are out,(and even if they were in, they’d be lovely…a bit of sucking up, by The Wunna.) ‘Loverboy’ and I, are there in order to look after their new puppy…which i’m sure i’ll find…difficult. (lol.)  But it’s funny innit. I hope i can do it drunk? It feels like quite a coupley thing to do. I think he’s quite worried, because he keeps re-telling me not to expect a big ‘razzle dazzle’ night. Haha. I mean, i don’t know how people must percieve me…but i’ve been in a HOME before and i’m able to just be NORMAL in one??? LMAO. How funny? He always thinks, that i’ll think he’s boring, due to me being a ‘Party girl, Princess.’ But i love the way he is. I’m humoured by it. It’s cute.  I mean we went to a McDonalds drive through for brekkie, one morning and he kinda looked all worried. He was adorable, bless him. All i said was, ‘You’re acting like i’ve never had a McDonalds before.‘ We just laughed, bought all this crap and couldn’t eat it because we were hungover. He does all these really goofy things around me, because he’s dead nervous. I love it. It’s almost charming.

I’ve lived a life. A great one. I mean, i feel so lucky to have ventured to Hollywood and (hahaha) oh how i lived. Jesus couldn’t save me!! Then i flew to London after years and years, got on the telly and now i’m back to my roots. Where my life first began. I’m come full circle. Therefore orginally i’m a girl from Yorkshire…with parents from Burma. I’ve had a McDonalds for breakfast and i’ve been inside peoples homes and chilled. Yeah, i’ve got it good…but i’m a lot more grounded than most people think.  I mean, i might have woken up in the swankiest of pads, with a variety of Hollywood heart throbs, telling me they’ll call me, as i take a morning dip in the pool, then get in my car and drive to an afternoon pool party with friends, followed by a cocktail hotspot. But i’ve also woken up pissed on a merry go round, a puppy and a in a prison cell, handcuffed to a lesbian. I can do Mothers homes just fine! lol *Tucks in clevage*

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