Keeping it nice and childish


I’m being really childish today. I spent the evening ‘not talking’ to Keiran, because i decided to get narky about him choosing to go to the gym, over spending time with my yummy daughter and I. (I’m a girl, we do things like that.) In return he was stubborn back and well he left to work away this morning at 7am…and from that point on we’ve bedroom bickered, phone bickered and now we’re ignoring each other for a jolly bit. Lol. It’s like being in a glitzy and somewhat humourous playpen. The teddy gets thrown out, the bottle gets whacked into a face, a nappy gets flung back pronto and  then it all ends in a raspberry and a nap. We’re both passionate about what we believe in and will bicker over stupid little things and at the time winning the bicker means everything to us. Then later, when we aren’t next to one another…we’re *pause* and thing ‘Oops’ and attempt to apologise with charm. I’m not good at apologising without being prompted and he hates that!! But he apologised yesterday, after misunderstanding what the word ‘implicitly’ actually meant, by taking his shirt off and holding my wine for me, as i tottered outside and awaited each sip. Y’know, i sometimes think Keiran doesn’t know why i love him, because i’m very sure he thinks the basis of my love for him, roots from him having a bit of a ‘body’ or a jolly handsome ‘look’ and that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m not 17 or shallow. (We i can be..but not with men. 🙂 ) I love him, because he’s my ideal life partner and it’s weirdly unexplainable. You just know, when you’ve met the person, that you are fated to jolly through life with. I know that people say that all the time, but it really is a cliche’ AND true. The right person wanders into your life, at the exact time they’re supposed too. I always said that the man i’d marry would have to be the strongest man alive. Everyone did. But out of a gzillion men in this world, i’ve found him and i know i have. AND i’m typing this whilst being angry at him, meaning it must be love. God, i can’t stop adoring him. There’s not one box, that he doesn’t ‘tick’ in Wunna land. I can’t go through live without holding his hand. That’s why i adored James Corden’s ‘Tony’ speech, because that’s how Keiran feels about me. That’s how we feel about each other. I love grand displays of affection. I’m a show-off, i enjoy a bit of ‘look at me.’ I was only narky with him because i was gonna miss him. I don’t quite get why i can’t just say, ‘I’ll miss you,’ without the being a bratt part.

However…(back to reality) I’ve said it before, I don’t like that he is working away, because it tugs at our connection a little and the days that he’s back are spent resting, working and preparing for his next stint away, which causes me to get angry (even though i do quite enjoy alone time today) because he spent no time attempting to romance me, or make me feel utterly cherished. He instead prepped for leaving, watched a bit of telly and went to the gym. I don’t know where i come into that macho equation? The first day he bonked me, a couple times, i washed his clothes, i cooked him food and then doted. I don’t think my role is to have the ‘away working’ male, return and sort of treat me like a service stop for clean clothes, food and ball emptying….especially when they forget to romance you! In my mind, it’s only okay for me to do all that stuff (which i weirdly don’t actually mind) if you are being treated like a Princess and utterly appreciated. Right? If i’m gonna play ‘Happy Housewife’ then surely his role is romantic, heroic…. breadwinner. Keiran’s usually quite good at being a darling. Yet i’ve noticed that a lot of other gents want the ‘happy housewife,’ yet don’t fullfil their role as a male. The girl will do all her kitten-like duties and the guy will not bother romantically ‘wooing’ her or treating her and instead watch Top Gear for hours, whilst trumping the national anthem, with gravy down his chin. Or even the men that want to be ‘House husbands’ …who actually forget that that means they have to do the cleaning, the washing, the cooking and the childcare, as she brings in the moola. You can’t have the title and then refrain from comitting to the role.

Anyway, i’ve decided to go on a sashimi diet. One of my favourite ‘Hollywood’ ways to lose those extra wobbly bits, in a healthy fashion. I’m not one to work out. I’m 31 with a baby. If anything i need a ‘sit down.’ I’m a Glamour puss. I don’t get sweaty, i glow glitter. I leave the hard work to the ladies who don’t do stilettos, in false eyelashes, with champagne dribbling down their face and a wink. My workout is hair-tossing and laying on my back during sex! HAHAHA!

I’ve also decided to jump on the ’50 shades’ band wagon and read all about every ladies new crushy bit of girl porn, Mr.Grey. I don’t really need much more sexing up. I have an imagination of my own that gets the better of most bedroom moments. (If you heard what Keiran and I role play, you’d be well and truely…devastated. Lol) I can’t wait to see baby Ruby tonight, (she stole my tiara yesterday evening and combined it with a Peppa Pig T-shirt. Fashion Queen in the making much!) I’m loving life. I’m getting back on the book launch train. I have my signings to tend to. The ‘handsome’ and i auditioned for a show yesterday. I have a cocktails in Manchester tomorrow, for a lovely bit of ‘all day’ filming. I’m back on with the wedding planning. (I can weirdly only do it, when Keiran is away?) And i’m mildy *sad face* that he’s probably really happy right now, that he’s away from me. Isn’t that horrid, when i love him so much. It’s not my fault i’m feisty and without fear stand up for what i think is right.  *Get the violins out.* 🙂 That’s sexy and well initially what he liked about me.  I was the ballsy ‘ i want you to be my boyfriend’ kitty cat, on our first date! 10 months later, i had already called him a ‘tosser’ and he had already called me ‘pathetic.’ 🙂 We’re still madly in love and that’s what strong relationships are made of. *Cue Wedding March* I now have a petrol ‘something’ generator on my kitchen floor. Like i tweeted earlier. I’m a kitty cat who wants to find diamonds on my kitchen floor. Not gassy, smelling, ‘blow my house up’ boys toys. My good friend Kelly managed to get it out of her kitchen and it’s now landed in mine! Lol


In the words of Will smith, ‘It’s only boys that break girls into pieces. Real men pick up those pieces and put them back together.’

 In the meantime…can you buy my book please…i mean NOW! 🙂

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