Just call me Hefner


I’ve gone Playboy bunny, banana’s, bonkers! I mean, who’da thought, that manning an army of lovely bunny girls and organizing a Tuesday shoot of ‘ooh laa’ to promo my ‘Diaries of a Glamour Puss/Playboy’ book launch party would be this hard. I’m a kitty cat that’s used to turning up at a shoot, with a bottle of champers, boobs and a smile, all giggles and ready for my close up. Yet this time, i’m having to bustle around making sure my delicious bunny girls are all a ‘goodie,’ and armed with frilly pants, stockings and bunny leotards. I’m really looking forward to it and i’m really grateful to the girls for coming along and getting their *wink-wink-wiggle* on with me, in the name of PR. I’m just really irresponsible and quite largely sober, meaning a simple weekend shopping trip with ‘The Wunna’s’ turns into bunny ear, bobble tailed panic. I mean, i couldn’t even swan around, flaunting my ego to glorious Wunna fans. I was literally, thundering around stores, with my monkey face and my beautiful baby Ruby attached onto the right hand side of my body, with my darling mummy power storming behind me, my dad chill swaggering and my brother..well my brother quite cleverly went for a haircut…hunting for every sexy bodice the world of Doncaster (my birth town) could find me, in every size (i’m using real girls..as that’s what i think best reps kittens,) whilst flustering around with bunny ears, after a dim sum lunch (yes, i’m asian) and keeping the glitzy fruit of my loins happy with a sing-a-long. Most one year olds have a mummy that can ‘la-la’ on a bench with a bottle stop, in the latest Mothercare shi-boogie. Poor Rubes, has to swan around corsets and candy coloured frillies, holding onto bunny ears that i can’t fit onto my arms, whilst i’m in heels and on my Blackberry. My mum just looked at me and said, ‘I’m going to make sure that she becomes a doctor.’ Lol. (If you didn’t know, that is my family’s profession. I come from a long line of medical practitioners. And here i am…writing my blog in zebra sunglasses.)

Long story short, i’ve got it all sorted. I’m exctied to meet the girls. I’m looking forward to the bunny shoot and i absolutely now, well always have, a distinct amount of ‘much much’ love for Hugh Hefner, how he organises bunnies, in a a dressing gown and slippers..i just don’t know. (Well..maybe it’s a guy thing. 😉 )

Okay, my life. Well…lots and lots and lots to get through. The book, the launch, the show, another show (Keiran and I are weirdly getting a great deal of interest now. I even got a late night work phone call from a production compnay last night! On a sunday, to try and get a hold of me, before the work week began.) The tour, (radio, tv, store,) the shoots, the 2nd book, the ‘other stuff,’ (remember it’s only the first part of the year, i have a whole 2nd part of goodie-goodie to glitter my way through with charm and ‘gimme’gimme,’) and THE WEDDING. I’m really excited for the wedding (we both are) and cannot actually believe that in four months time, we will beable to celebrate our love and tie the yummy knot, on our almost one year anniversary!! OMG! We’re having a big, posh, glam wedding. We’re giving back to all those who have whole heartedly enjoyed our union. It’s funded by my daddy. (Thank you very muchly, my Father of the bride. I have actually been married a couple of times and well he has sternly told me that after this one there’s NO MORE.) It’s in August. It’s at Oulton Hall and yes in true accidental ‘IT’ couple stylio…we’re having it filmed for the telly. (And no, it’s not ‘Don’t tell the bride.’ We’ve gone bigger, we’ve gone better and well our poor guests will probably get hounded and have to sign release forms as we invite them. It will quite a bustly day…but we’re living our fairytale and well neither Keiran nor I, do anything by halves! It’s go big or go home. (Keiran’s cute, coz he’s all *giggle* excited, under a exterior of ‘pretend macho.’ That’s what i adore about us because no-one knows us, like we do. We have the best little moments of ‘omg-cuteness,’ ALL OF THE TIME. The relationship is almost dipped in a rosy child-like magic. We are sooo connected right now and fluttering with ‘love-love’…i’m marrying the most romantic bit of hunka-chunka ever and well he’s a great example of what a hubby should be. (And by that i don’t just mean the flowers, the gifts, the cuddles…which i love. I’m looking at my little ‘got you it because i love you’ rose right now. I mean, that he has this mighty inner strength. He loves love and loves me and at the end of the day, nothing can come between that. We offer each other, our ‘perfect.’ We see the world the same way and know how to enjoy a ‘fairytale.’ We’re here to make our mark, love, create a family, a legacy and inspire love in others. We’re both young, but traditional and well i think we set a really great example of how love can be!)

However, saying that. He’s managed to ‘do his back in,’ meaning all yesterday, after a gym session, he couldn’t at all move, live or even waddle for a penny. Yes, my little darling ‘handsome’ is laid on his back, operated by pain killers and quite cutely being bossy. When a guy is a little ill…all women know how drama they are. When a guy is really really in pain…they get bossym with the odd whimper. Lol. I mean, he’s delivering his bossiness in a cutsie little jokey way. Yet he does really mean it. Infact, so far, i’m only allowed to TALK during adverts. I’m not allowed to what he calls ‘click-click’ when i’m near him, (which means be on my phone..which means have contact with the outside world. Haha.)I’m not allowed to turn the heat on. I’ve got to close doors, open windows, tickle his back, tell him that i love him constantly and feed him pain killers. 🙂 ) However, even though he’s knackered his back in, he still somehow managed to find the energy to feel my leg up, on the sofa, with a brief perv face and a ‘show me your fanny,’ when i had just tanned and was glamour pissing. Pissing??? Ha. I mean Pussing with a wine, before bed on the sofa. He literally chased my poor freshly tanned bum up the stairs, with a ‘come to daddy.’ Then he got in bed and his back hurt again, so he demanded i play with his willy, yet made me stop, because the blood rushing, hurt his ‘Army Keiran’ back. Hahaha. It’s cute. We’re having sooo much fun. I can even hear him snoring right now. I’ve unfortunately had to bare bum spank him for being rude. Luckily…he loves it. 🙂 In fact, i’ll tell you a funny bit of story. The other afternoon, around about the time Loose Women was on. My lovely Mr.Thompson, fancied a bit of ‘ohh-aah-ooh-aah’ courteousy of my mouth. After a bit of a play, i let him have a ‘willy-wanky’..whilst watching me. Usually, i’ll go all out and do a ‘boobie feel up’ show for him. This time, i sat in my joggers, :), worked on my ipad and didn’t even look at him. Randomly he still had the best time ever. I looked up for a peeky and there he was glaring at me, filled with lust, with his perv face and his man stroke. Yet the funny thing is, the moment that i DID look up and our eyes locked…he immediately changed his face, to something less pervy, for a good 3 seconds..in order to make himself look a bit more decent. HAHAHA. I love him. He’s cute. I love that he can look at me in a pair of joggers and get turned on enough to ‘wink-wink-willy-shuft.’ We have a great sex life. It’s filled with just the perfect amount of deliciousness.

The reason we work is because..everythings just right with our combination. We’ve been through a lot. We’re good people and we know how to love. I’m everything he wants in a girl and he’s everything i want in a guy. We are the same and even when others try to tangle inbewteen us, no matter what, they never ever win. Why? Well because we will always take that  step away from drama, look at each other with love, laugh and get back in the ‘bubble.’ Amazing things are happening to us. Even I’M overwhelmed and i’m a ginormous egomaniac. I looked at him last night, and from my nighty and fresh orange tan, ‘dolly’ eyed him with an ‘I’m actually really nervous.’

Y’see, so much is happening and so fast. Often having your dreams come true, is like having the rug pulled from under you…but in a good way. I’m enjoying the ride, because i’m grateful for what life has blessed me with. I can’t wat all believe it though. Can you?

I’ve got lots to do today, more bunny business, more grooming and hopefully we’ll find the time to go look around our wedding venue. I can’t believe how wonderful my life feels. Yet the reason why it is, is because if i’m honest i really did believe it would be wonderful. 😉

Thank you for all your messages! I love you all. I adore my @WunnaFanPage and will be blogging about them later. Their Twitter page, is better than mine!

Live, love and enjoy it dollies! But most of all, keep everything Kitty. 😉

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