Jiggery Pokery

Okay so, so much has been happenning and i simply have been a bit too busy to beable to tell you all about it. Mainly because i haven’t had a computer around me, or the time to use one even if i did have one around me and also simply because i’m also rubbish. Three cheers!! I have a bunch of personal appearances coming up that i’ve been having to schedule in and i guess a lovely bit of travelling to exotic places is on the cards for sexy Miss.Wunna. The rest of the World seems to adore me, they want to see this nuisance of a gal. Good old Blighty however, gives this little Glamour Puss the hardest of times. Well not that hard, life is still fucking amazing. I feel really grateful right now. So enjoy it…while it lasts! (She pouts and struts toward her diamante encrusted throne.)

Other than that i went hardcore shopping today. I had to buy outfits for the weekend. I’ve commited to partying like a champion. I’ve tried to be a ‘stay at home’ do gooder, who stops drinking…but i felt like i was punishing my body. I’m just meant to be out and about, sipping cocktails and penis. It’s who i am and i adore myself for it. I’m spending the Bank Holiday weekend in MANCHESTER. It’s a first for me. I’m a Manchester Party QueenVirgin. Hopefully i’ll get felt up and smear my mark of sin all over that goddam city….and get bathed after a bedtime story.

 I took a train that smelt like wee today. I sat next to a gay goth, who was reading precious love stories. I posed for a few pictures with youung girls. Waved at a few fans (my 5 minutes really is turning into a bit more like 7) and had garlic bread (Mmmm…garlic bread) for lunch….which i didn’t eat. I’ve pretty much bought EVERYTHING. Just a whole armful scoop of nonsense that i believe i need in order to survive the horror and hurt that this world has to offer. I’ve felt amazing today and mainly because everyone was staring at me. Yes, i am that much of an attention whorey loser….it works for me…don’t hate! I do feel somewhat exhausted now though, after commiting to doing ‘shapes’ and ‘combinations’ in my living room to Nelly’s ‘Country Grammer’ song. I forgot how much i enjoyed a bit of a boogie. It’s been 5 days!! Giving up, drinking, partying and boogying was the worst 10 mintues of my life. People might tell you it’s healthy for you to stay in….they are liars, they just have no where to go!

I’ve learnt a lot over the past few days. I’ve learnt that you should never give a man options. Just tell them exactly what it is you need them to do and well it’s amazing how wonderful they can be. Choices confuse them. Even the gay ones. I’m also in a fight for the same man, with my new gay friend ‘Adam,’ (snooze) who barks in the face of a girl at his work. When i asked him why? He simply stated ‘She needed to know she was a dog.’ Anyway, we will end up scratching each others eyes out over this chunk of hunk. I’m going to take the stalking route and sit in his back garden with bi-noculars playing with my girl parts and eating biscuits. And well he’s going to fly off to Vegas, sleep with as many sugar daddies as possible, steal all their credit cards and then ‘buy the bitch.’ Either way, we’re both gonna lose. What am i talking about…i don’t lose anything when it comes to love! (Apart from the odd moment of dignity, and the odd moment of virginity. I never did find where i put that old thing? I don’t think i ever had one? I probably came out of the womb a slut, with my finger plugged into my ‘privates.’)

I’ve got to go because i’ve things i need to tend to. But i love you. I thankyou and well i shall be back in a jiffy. I need to go tan.

Chrissie Wunna

8 thoughts on “Jiggery Pokery”

  1. At the start of the day i will be in Middlesbrough at the start of the day, as i am going to watch the Manchester United vs Middlesbrough match.

    Then i will be on my way to Manchester straight after the game, to get ready, pout and then get my party on. I will be all over and until 5am. I’m spending my weekend in Manc city. I won’t be blogging, but i’ll be Twittering my every mood! Please find me baby cakes!

    Patrick- I’m gonna have to start some serious stalking to get this piece of ass


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