It’s all about Charm School.



Today is a glorious day! I’m feeling so much more delicious because yes…not only am I delighting in the glow of a VERY good hair day! (Hellooo ‘clip ins,’ 20 inches and dolly waves,) but I also have my hubby back!

Now, as you know i’ve bickered and bombarded him with Wunna drama during his absence, (Yay, I’m snazzy like that,) but now that he’s back my heart feels whole again and my tints have turned back to rosy. It feels good, i feel emotionally safe and well my family and bubble are once again content. For me, when one of us ventures out of the bubble or simply ventures off somewhere, be it a child, my hubby or even I…nothing feels completely the same. It’s almost like we’re one solid unit of ‘whole’ and so with a piece missing, the balance ain’t cutting it! The jiggy jigsaw just doesn’t work. It’s like swimming with only one arm band. Dancing in just one stiletto. Looking at your mirror image with just one contact lens in.

Anyway, as soon as he walked through the door, there was a moment of odd…then he came and made it better with sweet kisses, I love you’s, cuddles and baby talk. (Baby talk, always means they love you.) I had already said i was sorry earlier by phone, so his ‘back down’ was much easier. However, he must’ve wanted to try to stay mad at me but couldn’t. That’s what I love about my hubby.

From that point on the bubble bloomed and the world was a better place and ‘better’ as in a flourish or a high. Like when your ‘tipsy’ before you get blathered. Like when you’re excited, instead of being the conservatory adverts in the local distributed magazine or stuck in a conversation with a guy you really don’t fancy, when the guy you do fancy is hitting on the girl HE wants.

The good thing about all this is that I now know I simply kicked off because I missed him and not because i’m a lunatic. *Three Cheers.* Men, enjoy calling girls nutty when we hurt them. (He never called me nutty, but in general…men do.)  Young girls hate the phrase, don’t they and try to defend their sanity. I don’t. When you’re old and you’ve dated so many guys and you’ve heard the ‘you’re a lunatic’ line from many a guy or hurt girl and you know you’ve definitely HAD great moments of utter lunacy due to rum, love, or passion…you don’t really mind it. I have a streak of bitch, and a tickle of crazy, but it’s bundled up with bunny love. Men don’t mind marrying a feisty one. Keiran loves it and he sort of loves that I will pretty much take no shitter-ritter from anyone who pushes me the wrong way. (The right way is always towards the bar, incase you’re wanting to push.) So yeah, all that hoo-haa had nothing to do with me not truly adoring my life or situation..or even him. I’m just a spoilt bratt..(Hurrah.) And I can blame that on my folks, career and well anything else for that matter! Yippee! I told him that I loved him and missed him, as we kissy kissed, as he gave me that smile. It’s the smile that he does when his eyes smirk and his heart if filled with giddiness. The kinda smile that even sarcastic, evil banter at one another can’t hide. 🙂 #charmschool. I can’ t believe i’ve actually found a guy who is strong enough to put up with my shit. The good thing about Keiran is that he is the same as me. So he understand me. I did my time of ‘putting up with him’ all last year. Now he’s all reformed and rocking his halo…it’s my turn and only because i’ve just had a baby and well…he’s been away. I’ve never been a ‘date a guy who works away’ girl. He doesn’t work away much,  just through the Summer here and there. However, he IS away again next week. The good thing is that this time i won’t kick off because i’ll be used to it. Plus, the good thing about him being away is that you have the freedom to do whatever you want. He’s currently in Daddy Day care wit Junior because he needed a little reminder of how hard it has been during his absence. He told me off for moaning, but now he’s getting a taste of what it’s been like. 🙂 He gets it. He’s happy, knackered, but getting on with it. In fact, he’s in bed right now to sleep when the baby sleeps. Lol. #partyboymuch #thepast Now I don’t think he’ll tell me off for moaning now. He forgot how difficult it was and I was doing it ON MY OWN. (Well my mum helped. Not through the night though.) Life isn’t just about happiness right now, it’s also about HELP.

Today we’ve championed our children AND he’s managed to get in his much needed ‘to do’s.’ I’ve been applying for jobs, whilst rocking the baby in booty shirts, over the knee socks, fluffy slippers, big eyelashes and great hair. 🙂 Oh and all at the same time as doing my Celebrity Slim shakes. (I’m not finding the diet too hard. It’s a breeze. I have no clue why? But i guess it’s a good thing that i’m not dying of starvation and needing to nibble of bits of wooden furniture. I still have a looong way to go.)

I’ve been all smiles and full of dolly heart and Keiran’s been all smiles and filled with ‘flirt’ for wifey. It’s been wonderful, back to normal and well all is back to gentle in Wunna land. Just the way we like it. Ruby is a shimmie. Junior’s grumbly but gorgeous. We’re getting our lives back on track and right now it’s all about making the money and turning dreams into reality.

I was getting a little jealous because everyone’s fricking going on holiday, apart from me! I said this to my chick friend whilst eating liquorice and her reply was this:

‘What are you on about?? You’ve spent the entire year going to the forest for luxury breaks every few weeks, with hotel nights, hotel weeks and everything in between ALL THE TIME, for no other reason but luxury! You’ve been to the forest THREE TIMES so far THIS YEAR even AND done it FIVE TIMES last year, not to mention 42 *your boiler broke down* hotel nights. If i go to Spain for 4 days, which is all I can afford for the ENTIRE year..i don’t wanna hear Little Miss Bouji moaning because she isn’t going away like everyone else!!’

Wow! Good job i was far too busy stuffing my face with liquorice, to be listening to the whole story. But I got the jist..I was moaning and being spoilt? Same old, same old. 🙂 I thought I needed a holiday because I was so stressed running the kiddies whilst ‘hubby’ was away. Turns out I actually don’t NEED one. I craved one. I even found one yesterday and now can’t be bothered to go on it. I think life is about saving in Wunna land right now and saving so we can have our dream. I want a job, lots more dough and a future. If you spend everything that comes in on fun or nonsense that you didn’t truly’ll never have the capital to roll it ‘rich style’ and i’m talking proper dolly ‘rich style.’ Save! Save! Enjoy life after you’ve made it.


Okay, all of that was yesterday! I couldn’t finish the blog because Mummy-hood timed it all wrong. That’s life. But I adore my kiddies. Then I wrote the entire blog and it accidentally deleted or wasn’t backed up! Hurrah! Instead of going insane, I breathed and rewrote. See how good I am at this now. I’m breathing and i’m being calm..and i’m not drunk! Yay! Keiran’s already called me a ‘Pain in his arse.’ Lovingly of course. 🙂  You can tell it’s a brand new day. He kissed me to make it better. Little fluttery pecks of kissy kissy. When he’s away and I annoy him he hates him and simply because when he’s in love, he’s IN LOVE. Toying with him when he’s already stressed and at work kills his soul. He even had to have acupuncture yesterday. Now, i’m all for Eastern remedies. I am one. 🙂 However, when you’re relying on needles being jabbed into your head for peace, then you know you life must be bad.

Anyway, back to me! My favourite subject! I went to the Doctors today because my thyroid’s flared up during pregnancy, meaning i have a lump growing out my neck. That’s annoying in itself, because I have to walk around like I constantly feel guilt, or choked up. You can’t tell that much, well I thought you couldn’t. But today someone was glaring at it, whilst talking to me instead of glaring at my face, or even MY BOOBS! Therefore it really must be a lot worse than I realized. Hence my rush to the doctors. When my boobs don’t even beat it, then we have trouble. I’ve been meaning to get it treated for ages but laziness got the better of me. Now i’m scared because I might have to have surgery to get rid of it, if the ultra sound delivers a dodgy result. Unluckily, my doctor confirmed that today. Eww! My Doctor was actually blond and hot like a Glamour Model. Bizarre I know and I shouldn’t be so judgmental. But I liked her and she liked me. I wowed her with wit and charm and before you know it we were laughing up a storm at my unfortunate growth that I have spurting out of my neck.

I walked all the way to the Doctors for exercise. I haven’t managed to exercise in ages due to having to rock Junior, whilst sat on my booty…. all day long. When I left the house it looked like it was going to rain, so looked like a right twat when I was half way through my walk, with a fricking Minnie Mouse umbrella, big, knee high, black, fur rimmed, winter boots, a jumper and a coat! I was sweating like an angry chimp. It was horrible. But i loved my walk. I walked and walked and felt free. I was kinda like Forest Gump, but without all the good stuff happening to me along the way.

All that happened to me was the fact that I accumulated a tag along granny. Eighty years old  she was and well she had no clue who I was, but loved me enough to tag along and join my life. It’s because i do this weird ‘smile at people’ thing that comforts others into thinking they can follow me. I always think people might believe i’ far harsher than what I really am, so when I accidentally make eye contact…I smile. It gets me into trouble. If I do it at a boy, he thinks i fancy him and want sex. If I do it at a shy boy…he blushes. (I like that. Means he’s a good guy.) If I do it at grannies…they want to be a part of my life and everything. She told me she liked my hair, then told me it looked like a wig. Lol. I love those moments. I think she then thought I had Cancer, because she then told me that her daughter also had to wear a wig, due to ‘the cancer’ getting her.  I’m not surprised she thought that, I looked like an idiot in my fur boots, jumper, coat, umbrella, lump and well the sun. Why not decorate that with a killer illness.

She actually made me late for my doctors appointment..because well 80 year olds don’t walk fast. I didn’t realize that until I let her join me. She tried to though in order to pretend that she was young. When I got to my appointment…late…the nurse was attempting to be evil to me and bollocking me with a ‘you do know how rude it is to be late to appointments. I have things to do toooo.’

I told her the story and smeared it with charm. (It is NEVER good to piss someone off who is abut to jab you with ‘test blood’needles.) She fell for it and in the end was telling me that I was ‘too nice’ and that’s probably why I missed my initial time slot. Yep! That’s me! Little Miss. Too Nicey Pants. 🙂 In fact, I was so good at ‘Charm School’ that she even ended up complimenting me by saying I looked so skinny and trim for just having a baby. See! It works. I’m brilliant. My wit charm and ‘Dolly’  face gets me everywhere. Not only did she think I was the nicest person ever for talking to grannies…but I got an ‘and you’re thin’ compliment for no reason. I should bottle it up and sell it. (My charm, not my fat.)

Right now, I just want my millions and that’s all. I have everything else and if I just had that life would be complete. We’re working really hard and that’s why I think the Good Lord should cut Keiran and I some slack and bless us with a ridiculous amount of riches because we’re ‘tryers.’ We’re doing well, but as always i’m greedy and i want more. I’m on a decent job hunt, because my mum always taught me that even if you have money you still need to be bringing in an income. I’ve lived well as has she, but she’s 63, a well paid doctor and is still working. I’m 32 and moaning. But i’ll get there.

Anyway, I have to go as Keiran’s gone upstairs to get his work diddled. (He’s probably just wanking.) It’s a bit rude of me to blog the way through the beginning part of Juniors life, instead of tending to him…so i’m off. He’s actually a sleep because he’s calmed by women. Makes it easier for me.

God, i need a job.

Sorry if this blog is shit. I had to write it all over again and well as you know, things are never as funny the second time around, unless you were really drunk the first time around.

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