‘Indian Hot Sexy Boob’

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It takes TWO to tango, but oh my WORD, it takes an ARMY to rein in my, ‘i’ve completely raised ATTENTION SEEKING’ children. It’s my own fault…because i’m a soft mum, a cuddly one, who accidentally let’s them get away with most things. I do discipline them, but softly and to the point where they KNOW I’ll crack and give them what they want in the end. My heart can’t bare to see their little half Burmese faces with downward pointing lips, so i have no real other to blame..yet I’ll find people…so today i’m pushing the blame onto my Mother (she raised me the same way…and so yeah I’m a loving, respectful daughter, yet it’s ace because i can still say words like ‘penis,’ with a dash of mild swearing…in front of my mum. WE have a great bond. The other people i’m going to blame are the Fathers…all fathers. Lol. It takes TWO parents to raise ONE CHILD appropriately. I have TWO little babies…and there’s just ME. I’m laughing as I say this because I really wouldn’t have it any other way…but it’s flipping hard work! HAHA. Like, I didn’t need no juice diet find m waistline after the birth of 2 bundles…it found me and pinged back, after i spend half an hour CHASING after Ruby and Junior. God felt sorry for me and thought…’that bitch has got zero dignity left, lets give her her body back, so she’ll stop moaning at me for a while and feel like i’ve done her some good.’

Blamed pushed. I’m happy. Now where’s my coffee.

Okay, so today…I woke up with sick next to me and I despise the smell of vomit, as that creamy, cheesy stench of gip up really tings my senses in a super bad way. Junior puked. Then left the room. OF COURSE! Why are they evil to me?? My children look SO adorable and really are to OTHERS. But now they’ve become close, they’re a TAG TEAM and when you’re on the other team..it sucks! HAHA. I don’T even think he needed to puke. He just wanted his ‘in the wash’ blanky and because I wouldn’t get him it, he deliberately puked next to me, in order to force me to get up. LOL.

I was smeared in drying fake tan. Completely in leopard print. I had some horses head on a stick neighing at me, because Ruby decided to ride it all morning. Then folk were trapping fingers in toilet seats, i had no coffee, i couldn’t do my face for babies pulling my ankles, no music was playing…and then that was it..i broke, packed them up and drove them to nursery! HAHAHA. ‘There you go…your turn. ๐Ÿ™‚ ‘

I mean, Ruby and Junior get on like a house on fire…yet if they’re going to fight…it’s FULL ON. ๐Ÿ™‚ But whenever i mention it to other mum’s, all they say are ‘My two were the same.’ Yet, that doesn’t solve my problem, as that was half a decade ago and i’m having to live the madness NOW! HAHAHA. When they start being naughty, I really want to wheel in a ‘daddy’ to sort them out. I need a ‘Daddy’ in a cupboard, who only comes out to shout at them. I would’ve got a very West Hollywood ‘Manny,’ (male nanny,) yet he would only try to sleep with me. ‘Dude, you’re meant to be disciplining the children..not me.’

Ruby never listens to me, but always listens to ‘Daddies.’ (Annoying i know, but very true.) Yet, she’s weirdly super clever and always tries to manipulate a converstaion, if she feels it’s not headed in the right direction, in order to make herself look good.

For example, when she was even littler than she is now, she had THIS conversation with Keiran..

Ruby (to me) : ‘Edwards and Theo are my boyfriends.’

Keiran: ‘You’re not allowed any boyfriends. No boyfriends…EDUCATION. Say it!’

Ruby: ‘I don’t have a boyfriend??? I don’t know any boys.’

Keiran: ‘Then what’s Edward?’

Ruby: ‘….a girl.’

Lol. She actually thought we would be that stupid and believe her at the time. ๐Ÿ™‚ That’s how clever she thinks adults are. HAHA.

Today, I need to find a Hoover and a properly working washing machine. I’m AGAIN going to do a bit of a clean, work on my beauty line, buy last minute holiday essentials, pack for the children and then i’m going to meet a friend at 2pm in Ponty for a drink. They’re obsessed with thinking i’m a man named ‘Jeff’…so well i’ll tell you all about it, once it’s been ‘ticked boxed’ off my ‘To do’ list.

This morning i noticed a middle aged man, a grey haired one, who was swanning about with no shirt on…in a flipping COFFEE SHOP. He kept looking around to see if anyone fancied a bit and was trying to put out a weird ‘sexy’ vibe?? ย Lol. WHY DO MEN DO THIS!?! You are far more attractive, in shirts when you’re in a public setting. ๐Ÿ™‚ (No shirts is fine, when the moment calls for it.) But this whole midlife crisis shit needs to stop. You need to work your BEST assets and i’m not even being a bitch right now, but operation ‘shirt off,’ didn’t work in his favour. Especially not in a coffee shop! I mean, there’s no hope for us women, if even at that age, MEN still don’t get what makes our heart strings sing, what makes our little eyes flutter, what brings a smile to our delicate little kitten faces. Love, romance, protect, nurture and respect your ladies and we’ll love you back. I’d NEVER walk into a coffee shop, at fifty something without my shirt on. HAHA. Well, not for the right price anyhow. ๐Ÿ˜‰ (Oh shut it, i’m still a WUNNA. My mum, who is now obsessed with late night documentaries on weird sex stuff, like ‘My granny, the escort’ tried to make me watch ‘My Perfect PENIS’ last night, but because her eyes were bad and she thought it read ‘My Perfect PARIS.’ AHAHAHA.’ ย Stuff like that, makes me KNOW i wasn’t adopted. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Me: ‘Mum, stop trying to make me watch the penis show.’

Mum: ‘It says PARIS…my perfect PARIS.’

Me: ‘You KNOW it doesn’t. You’re just obsessed with these weird, late night documentaries, like that granny/ escort one.’

Mum: ‘No, I wasn’t. I was shocked and disgusted at that.’

Me: ‘HAHAHAHA. NO YOU WEREN’T. I was shocked and disgusted. YOU were thinking it over as a new retirement career, rambling on about how much money they make!!! HAHAH.’

We both just belly laughed and put a ‘ Child Genius’ rerun on.

Y’see…when Ruby’s older, I imagine that I’ll have the exact same rapport with her. So even though she’s still a baby, i can put up with her mouthy ways, because when she’s older, i’ll be her bestest friend ever much! I mean, personality wise….we’re completely the same.

I’m currently laughing my head off because my top searches again for my website were as follows:

.indian hot sexy boob

.chrissie wunna

.chrissie fit hot

.penis girls

.crissiewunna.com

FIRSTLY..it’s CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM (Spelt ‘CHRISSIE.’ ๐Ÿ™‚ ) I don’t mind you spelling it wrong, but it sucks because..well you’re spelling it WRONG. ๐Ÿ™‚

SECONDLY…Penis girls? LMFAO. What on earth…Jesus Christ!

And finally…at LEAST my actual NAME was in the search this time….you did it. ‘Chrissie Wunna’ the second top search…unfortunately after ‘indian hot sexy boob.’ ๐Ÿ™‚

What am I gonna do with you all!?!

Wunna x

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