In London

Hey bitches! Okay so i’m currently sat on my the bed in my hotel room, wishing i had more vodka in my system, penis and humility. For some reason my left eye is being dodgey and i can’t see out of it. Lovely! But it’s all good in the hood as i believe i’m out tonighta in The Old smoke. Don’t know where yet? Yet i’m sure someone somewhere will let me play.

I can’t stay out too late as i have to train it to Brighton in the merry morn, to go film sex witches. However, i’m all excited as in a wee little bit. I’ll have little boyband jonny, gracing me with his prescene and feeling all awkward infront of me. Hopefully he’ll be drunk so i can take advantage of his sweet nature and trick him into ‘putting out.’ I mean, the only thing that really goes with hotel rooms is drinking and hot sex. I need to sort myself out because i do look rougher than usual…but it’s nothing that a bit of bronzer and bra adjusting can’t fix.

I hate my hair it’s unruly and shit my eye is still all kinds of fucked up.

Wish me luck. i have a combination of all the things i do best coming up within the next few hours!  Booze, boys and bedsheets. Why am i such a slag???

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