I’m Shooting, Yes I am, I am….

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I’m carrying logs. I don’t know why i am, but i am. I’m also on my delicious period…this is my second one this month. (Due to a little problem i had earlier in the month.) At first i just thought i was literally gushing blood, from my ‘Lady Part’ and dying. It happened whilst i was watching ‘The Twins’ on X-factor. However, it’ s been confirmed, that I’m simply, ‘on the blob.’ God is punishing me by making me bleed from my ‘darling’ all irregularly. It’s awkard really? I’m bleeding over alsorts. I feel like i’m staining my trail of jiggery pokery. If you have a job, where you don’t wear many clothes, then really…your fucked. I think i bled on a puppy this morning.

Anyway, i am actually at work today. I’m on a break, but on a shoot. One in public. Lots of you can see me right now. I’m waving! And i’m dressed as a builder, well a construction worker. But one that’s a girl , likes frilly knickers and is a bit of a slut. (OOooh.) I love dressing up, and being in sexy uniform type pokery. It makes me feel powerful AND i get to keep my outfit after throwing a tantrum. I’m actually shooting this with real life construction men, who are getting mildy sexual harrassed by me. They’ve made me cups of tea and everything! Great weather for a shoot like this. Usually men of this sort are all ‘whistle whistle, love ya tits.’ Yet these guys are actually all a bit shy now i’m standing right infront of them in hardly any clothes. (Awww…) I’m digging up London. It’s so cute. I have diamonds dangling from my ears and a neon waistcoat thing on, with a yellow hard hat, fucking up my hair!  (They don’t know i’m making little red puddles in my knicker crackers though! LOL)

 I have a tough work schedule this week and i’m getting through it with sarcasm, winks and a really good boob job.  (Don’t hate.) People are shooting in their party suggestions and all that jazz, for this years crappy halloween bonanza. I’m wanting to get dressed up…but i don’t know what as? I’m gonna go to that massive fancy dress store in like Camden and pick something a little bit ‘ooh’ and a little bit silly really. And i’m not sticking to the ‘it has to be something Halloweeney’ rules. In LA you can be anything and i think that’s a good thing to try and promote. Plus i have the title of ‘Chrissie Wunna’ which means i can really do whatever i want.

Oh and i’m on a diet! An awful one! OMG! Now i hate diets, and dieters…i think they are for losers (like me when i was 20) who foolishly believe they’re over weight for no reason. If you are on a diet too young, it will completely fuck up your body, when you get old. And ‘old’ believe it or not, is when you need to look HOT. (Not when your young.) Diets were made for people with maybe a medical illness, or allergies, or people who well you get the drift of it all. And it’s funny to me how EVERYONE is on one?? Teenagers even! Your not fat! Or sick? I’m not actually even on a diet for me. I’m on one for my friend as moral support..which sucks hairy balls. Therefore basically the crack-a-lack is….I tell her i’m on the diet with her and when i’m not with her (and that’s all the time, due to work) i stuff my face and pretend i’ve been on the diet the whole entire time. WOOHOO) I can’t be restricted to food groups and measurements. I’m the Queen of fucking Greatness. Only dorks are on diets! Eat! Be happy! Be Merry!

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