I ride donkeys in Brid

Morning all! Feeling good, looking lucky, and i’m gonna make use of those stupid footballs today, by using them as mere props to cover my boobies…not for a shoot or anything, just for my own ‘ooh-aah Cantona’ fun. I feel like my life is one big, ‘Carry on’ film. It’s like ‘Carry On Chrissie,’ (and she does…quite badly….until she eventually keels over, passes her heels to the next Lady Knockers, whilst her Bra magically pings off, and she DIES! Ooooh Matron! Saucy!)

I can’t remember what i intended to talk about right now, but i know it had something to do with ‘coat tail’ riding?? And maybe lots of people wanting to ride mine?? I actually don’t mind other people getting, ‘ready, set, go,’ to jump onto the Wunna’s coat tails, as i would…if i could. I think?? I’m good at riding coat tails…and donkeys! (Seriously i would beg my mum to take me to Bridlington, when i was 3…so she could pay a man, who would plonk me on a dirty, broken down, but live, donkey, in a mexican hat, and i would ride it up & down the crap beach….ALL day. I think that’s bad parenting!

‘Where’s Chrissie love?’ 

 ‘Oh yeah, i just paid a man, to watch her ride a Donkey. She’ll be right!’ (Erm, helllooooo??? I now take my clothes off for pervy men, for an occupation!)

What i wanted to say, before i distracted myself, i’m not ready for ‘all y’all’ ( a bit of american for you there,) to ride my coat tails, yet!! There’s no need for you to be, quitting ya jobs, hiring a yacht, getting a stylist, and a quick ‘short, back n sides’ just yet!! Jesus! I sometimes feel like, i sit on my little raft to stardom and in 4 seconds flat, everyone else jumps on it, and we ‘glug glug’ down….ungracefully. Patience!! Even though i do think that’s just a word someone invented, to bide the time, and ‘hush’ the masses, until they actually figured out what the fuck to do!! But yeah, ‘there ain’t no coat tails for you to ride, yet!’ (I don’t talk like that.) You have to wait until i have be raised onto the highest pedastal, my tailed coat is a dangling, then….well, then just TRY and jump on. My security will have you removed, i’ll be sticking my tongue out, giving you the middle finger and throwing PIE in your face, whilst i ditch you losers, and find me some real friends!! hahaha! Genius plan! She does it again!! Happy Morning!

3 thoughts on “I ride donkeys in Brid”

  1. your security aint powerful enough to remove me babe ill give the ol essex exercete round there mui and flop em. imp leased uare having a good morning and u seem very spritley chrissie u must have the guvna coffee over there in donnie treacle. i used to ride the donkey round soufend on sea. till me old gril got me hooked on jeelied eels knowe its fuck the donkey its stella and seafood all day for me when i am by the sea. good luck with the footies and your posing if u need a hand let us know and i will have a sherbert ready take care chrissie tada scratch


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