Morning my Early birds of Dandy! I’ve been up since 6am. Had an amazing night last night with my mum. I picked her up at Kings Cross station, we ventured off to dinner, then had a ‘girls night in’ pyjama party on my bed, which consisted of ‘boy talk,’ who she believes is right for Me and a career pump. My mum’s like Me, she’s generous, she’s a giver and well the kind of woman who can make any dream come true for ANYONE. Yet cross the line with either of the Wunna ladies and yeah you’re FUCKED! We are as ballsy as they come and filled with ‘Va Voom.’ I love it when she stays over, she iginites me with passion, ooh laa, magic, but rummages through all my stuff, replacing anything she doesn’t much care for. ‘What’s this Chrissie, (my life) i don’t like it, lets throw it out.’ Anyhow, we’re both working until 3pm, then i’m meeting her in Central for a bit of food, fun and shopping. Maybe we could fit a ‘pamper’ in. (And i do mean as in ‘hair did’ and not as in ‘diaper’…as ofcourse that would be a bit awkward really?) I think she wants me to pick a boy who has a lovely Mum. One she can go do lunch with, and gossip with and be best friends with. Therefore boys with ‘lovely mums’ please do apply. I want to pick a boy who i unconditionally love, as one day we’ll build our own family, our own ‘magic’ together. I mean like Gay Adam was saying last night…Look at Ozzy and haron. He tried to kill that bitch coz the voices in his head told him too and they’re still together, because she loved him regardless. Infact they lived happily ever after! That’s the kinda love i like. The ‘no matter what- we can take on anything’ kind. I mean it’s normal to hit the ‘panic button’ in relationships, as long as you can get back to the ‘love’ after the storm has done it’s do. I’m good at that. Many men aren’t.
I’m feeling on top of the world today. Like i can take on anything. I had a male fan/now friend post me a new phone today. His name is ‘Faz’ (who’s all the way in Dubai) and I am going to say THANKYOU very very much, but REALLY you DO NOT need to do that. (You do. You do!) It makes me feel awful(gimme gimme) …but then again to be honest, not that awful. (MORE! MORE! MORE!) I’m a lucky girl! I also recieved a giant fan box from Canada, filled with cards, pictures and well wishes, from beings with exceptional taste. I got one of those hamsters that sing ‘Kung Foo Fighting,’ in the box. (Is that racist? I love it. I think it’s broken now. I wouldn’t let my Mum play with it…so she broke it.) I am truely very grateful, as it fools me into believing i’m actually doing something ‘Wonderful’ with my life…and purely by accident. I kinda just tripped up, woke up and found myself being the Queen of fucking Greatness. Now pass me my cocktail, my midget and my tickle stick. Lets get this ‘doo-darr’ a going…shimmie shake. (I’m just remembering a time when cott Mills asked me whether i (like Katy Perry) had ever kissed a girl? I responded with an honest ‘Yeah.’ He then asked me whether i Liked it? My answer to that is, ‘not enough to write a fucking song about it.’
To me as a girl, kissing a girl, is not that much fun…especially if they’ve had salt and vinegar crisps before hand. Dirty bitch. It was just something i would do to be funny when i was younger, or for some overly sexed boy that wanted a ‘looky-looky-spunk off.’ I’m really not that into it. I am ALL girl and i LOVE MEN. Kissing a man to me is MAGICAL. (Pucker up handsomes. Purr..purr..wink.) Kissing a girl to me is….soooo done. Therefore if you’re a young girl, thinking boys will find you more ‘oooh’ if you ‘dooo.‘ Believe me, they will for a good 5 seconds. But then they’ll tell all their friends that your a slut. And that is a title that only really works for you when your older, in the bedroom and it needs to be earnt!! I mean being a ‘slut’ with your husband or for ya boyfriend is secret and sexy. But passing out the ‘poppins’, to every Tom, Dick and Doo Darr…is not only messy, makes you have a baggy vagina, but also exhausting. Glamour Pusses DO NOT exhausted themselves. We entice men with our eyes and our ways, we wait until they are fully worked up, until we give them a bit of the ‘sugar.’
Anyway other than that. I know where i’m going and i know where i’m from. I’m on a magical journey through life…finding love, living life and loving it. Hope you are too. Now worship me and be done.