I can hear, I can SMELL & i’m totally in joggers


Jogging suits are actually deliciously comfy! I mean who’da thought!?! I’m in one today, one that I purchased from my favourite budget  high street store, as i’ve finally surrendered to the fine art of ‘needing to be comfy-over bouji’ during pregnancy. They’re really comfy. I actually feel great. Add big hair, giant eye lashes, a good tan and a couple of ‘wham-bam-too big for ya ears’ diamantes and you have fabulosity. A ‘sity’ that we all love and adore. In life, it’s important to keep things glamour puss. Especially when you’re a wife. I mean, two days ago my lovely bit of husband purchased me ‘just because I love you’ flowers…and just because he loved me. How sweet! I’m a chica who ADORES, out right adores, romance…and I believe every man should be making their girlfriend, date, or wife feel especially woo’d at all times. I mean, he didn’t need to go to buy me flowers. Yet after his hard day at work, he DECIDED without being pushed, shoved or prompted to mosey on down to a venue that would supply his little slanted eyed wifey with flowers.  In fact, Lillies and roses. (They are my favourite flowers.) He walked into the home with them cradled in his arms, like I was about to approach Miss.World. In that moment I couldn’t have worshipped him any more. It was wonderful and exactly how I pictured my love life being, as a little girl. The thought of it, the fact that HE THOUGHT to do it, is what I find romantic and in fact really sexy. (Maybe he wants a blowjob? Maybe they’re blowjob flowers and not ‘just because I love you’ lillies after all.) Then secondly, it’s the fact that the little gesture of flowers made me feel appreciated and when you’re in a full blown marriage…you’re a wife, a mum and an everything else and you’re running a household together….AND you’re pregnant…feeling appreciated is all that matters, because with me, when men fuck up, it’s always because i haven’t felt appropriately respected or appreciated. The flowers, at 8 months pregnant, tired, ill and everything else I feel like complaining about meant, to me…that he appreciated me and it makes my world swirl with a rosy swish of ‘ooh laa.’ So well done Mr. Thompson. It reminded me that he was a great man. Not that I forgot, but we all need to remind and be reminded of such a fact at times. I enjoy that he’s not afraid to show me or the world that he loves me and he knows how to love.


(The ‘Just because I love you’ flowers. #score)

Okay, on another note….*Rips Post-it from memory brain box* I can finally actually fucking (sorry but I do need to swear) HEAR! I can even smell toooooo! My body is hideously achy from the flu, it’s just normal achy form pregnancy. I’m not hazed over with the shudders, a fever, a headache or the blues. I’M BETTER! And I weirdly never ever thought I would be, as last night whilst I was making a giant pan of spag bol and as my mum was chipping away at the freezer, which had decided to over freeze. It’s weird. People come into my home, I show them the state of the freezer and they want to attempt to ‘chip away’ at it. I was on my last legs, sweating, aching and falling around in ‘couldn’t hear for shit’ fluey pain. I didn’t care who had a go. My mum started it. Keiran came home, ate and then finished it. Now it’s almost done and diddled. Yipppeee! Woke up this morning, after thinking that I was surely going to wake up feeling just as dodgy as the night before and NO” I AM CURED! All i have is a snotty nose and well that’s fine by me as it’s ill enough to get me out of sexytime, yet not SO ill that i’m actually in pain. Hurrah! That flu was an entire WEEK LONG and all because I had the stupid whooping cough jab, that my evil midwife, who is usually really lovely…(I’m only sucking up to her now incase my baby is overdue and she has to give me the old ‘sweep and stretch.’ If you don’t know what that is, well it’s the jolly time when the midwife decides to bring on the birth by shoving two of her own fingers into your floozy, then sweeping them around before stretching out your vagina…manually. It’s not fun! It’s intrusive when it’s done medically and not sexually by some hot blooded handsome that you actually fancy. The last midwife, who wanted to ‘bring on birth’ before I had Ruby, ate chopped melons with her fingers before she did mine. I hope she wore gloves? The bright side was that the melon was at least from Marks and Spencers. The rubbish part was that she made me open my legs on a weird sofa in the middle of an office and pull down my knickers. It felt odd, like I was at some kind of dodgy swingers party. I don’t want that to happen again. When it’s time for my bump to almost be birthed this time around, i’m saluting the devil and doing voluntary SQUATS, all day long. If that doesn’t work i’m going to down a vodka and shimmie until he falls out. Fuck melon fingers. Well..hahaha…literally. 🙂 )

I’m actually  really happy today. I’ve been up and about. I’ve done the nursery run. I’ve driven into Pontefract to attempt to run errands and find me all the things that I just so happen to need. I found nothing, so instead bought jacket potatoes and fresh cream tarts. Then I went to Co-Op (where everyone is excited about ‘the bump’) and bought a lottery ticket, so I can pick up my millions before the birth. 🙂 I also purchased a couple of scratch cards to, as Keiran and I have been lucky on them in the past. Not so much when we’re moody, but when we’re happy we slap-bang-whoop the shizzles out of them. Over the last few weeks i’ve actually bought loads of lottery tickets and scratch cards, but not checked or scratched any of them.

Today has got to be the day when I do, as the inside of my hand bag now looks like a ‘could be lucky’ homeless person’s bin rummage. It’s filled with tickets, scratch cards, eyelash glue and lip gloss, like I have some kind of addiction to gambling…and cheap hookers. Plus, I could’ve actually won! I mean, the cashier at the Co-Op in Ackworth, told me today that someone won over £100,000 the other day from a ticket they purchased at their kiosk. That could BE ME this week! Gimme! Gimme! I think I more can’t stand the fact that my bag is filled with crap. I’m not a hoarder at all and like to throw everything out, which I actually find quite bizarre, because to say i’m quite materialistic, i’m weirdly not afraid to throw things of  material value out, knowing that one day i’ll buy all new? Maybe because i’ve lost and gained so much during my life travels both here and in Hollywood. I no longer have a fear of loss. It’s good for a being. I mean I once even got bored of a date, who I took to a club and tried to de-clutter by losing him too…in a crowd. Half way through the night, I found that he was annoying, had no money and was a coke head, so I had to ditch him. As soon as I hid, the table that I was at (I think it was Big Brother Rex’x table,) decided to LIGHT UP with sparklers and champagne cheers. He found me, (I was in sequins) pulled me to one side and said, ‘Can you not just be a human being?’ I almost felt bad for him, but he said it too close to my face. He left at that point. Then called me as I was in my own taxi home, wanting me to redo the date with him. I never called him again. I’m a girl who knows straight away if the guy is right for me. I’ve dated a lot and just know me very very well. So, when I saw Keiran..I KNEW right from that first moment of seeing him that he was going to be my ‘forever.’ Or that I wanted him to be my ‘forever.’ We’re just two beings fated to be together. We’re doing life together and nothing is better than finding that other person that IS your complete life partner. We’re a family now and we’re unstoppable. We might have moments of down…but we pick each other up every time. For the first time in my entire life, I actually feel like I can do eternity with a boy. He’s that boy.

Plus he’s scored major points by purchasing me this birthday watch, that I only just got fitted…


(‘To My Beautiful Wife….Love Keiran xx.’ )

I weirdly always leave gifts dormant for ages, until i finally decide to pick them up and really appreciate them. I adore my watch because now it fits and not only that, but now that moment has become ALIVE.

(Aww…i’ve just given advice to a chick friend of mine who is trying to find a reason for the guy she’s bonking to see her again. She secretly wants him to adore her more permanently. I’ve told her to next time accidentally on purpose LEAVE something that she needs at his place,so he’ll call to arrange another meet up.  But really…he if he truly liked her, he would want to see her again anyhow, without her having to trick him into it. She knows that, but is just forgetting the rules. You can’t make a boy decide to want to date and marry you, if you’re already putting out before you’ve told him how you honestly want your relationship to go ahead. Sex is sex. Love is love. They are two very different things. When combined in the correct manner and where no tricking has taken place, they make chemistry. Even relationships, short term, long term, marriages and life partners are all different. There really are different levels to love. Some marriages are stronger than others. It all just depends of how deep the love or connection goes.

5 days and i’m on holiday!!! Yay!

Around this time next month…i’m having a baby! Yay!!!!

Hope you’re all having a truly wonderful day and please please do check out my good friend@EMILYWOODCOCK ‘s blog. I’m all for people documenting their lives, I find it wonderful. Plus, her’s will be greatnesss, simply because she’s in that ‘trying to find Mr.Right & Dating’ phase of life…making her stories a squeeze of berry juice-juice. My blog was all exciting, when I was going on dates and finding lots of rubbish men and failing at love and sex. Emily’s more together than I am or ever was, so her blog will be less tragic and drunken…however 🙂 still a great read. I’m all mummified and wed now, so i’m a wee bit tamer in my old age. I’m all wise now that i’m an oldie. But yes…give her a follow and check out her blog.

Maybe start a blog yourself today. People always start blogs, yet never ever finish them….


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