Hungover OVER

WOW! Do i feel terrible today! Omg…i have one working eye, i’ve done my back in, my left boob has got ‘dead arm,’ it hurts when i attempt to move my body, i feel rough, i look just as good, i have no hot water, limited sight, i’m exhausted, having to miss work, i’ve got spots, had top hide behind other peoples sunglasses, and i woke up on a reclining chair for one…that unfortunately had two people on it. I don’t think i’ve ever felt this horrific. EVER! Yes, i did have wine last night, which means nothing because i have it every night, but omg, i’m knackered. I’m never passing out on a recliner again. (Remember: Getting drunk is fine, provided you are smart enough to pass out cold on anything other than a chair. My boob has dead arm!!!! Not delicious, AT ALL.) I spooned Loverboy on the recliner all night, because ha had managed to ‘pass-out’ on it too…now both of us can’t move our bodies. He’s trotted off to work, and i’ve not been able to go in. I mean, not that i’m lazy, but truely, no-one wants to see me wiggle my booty seductively, with only one eye!! AND…i don’t really fancy being a one eye’d dancing girl. *Kill me* I’ve got to change a few things around. I’m not eating properly, sleeping properly, looking after myself or anything. I need to refuel and i don’t care what anyone says…i’m doing it. You can’t run on empty and be happy.

Other than that i forgot to actually tell you that the other day, i got a taxi to the train station. Taxi drivers worry me, because they usually don’t know where they’re going and want ME to navigate. I don’t like this! If your job is to drive people places..then you should pretty much KNOW where places are and if you don’t…you’re a dick! Anyway, that wasn’t the problem, all cabbies in Ponty, know their way around. The problem was that, you know you’ve had a bizarre journey, if the last thing your taxi driver asks you (and in the middle of the day) is ‘Do you have a bald fanny and do you wax or shave it?

Now i opted for laughing it off…but technically, that’s bad. Yet he did also tell me that, he went on a stag do to Amsterdam, with 30 other men, and they hired the fattest prozzie they could fine to have sex with the ‘stag.’ They had a bit of a whip around, got him all prepped and ready.Then they all squeezed into this tiny, cheap, hotel room, (all 30 of them) and watched him do things to this fat prostitue. OMG!!!! How ewww much!!! Remind me to not let my next hubby have a do of ‘stag.’ Anyway, straight after that, i edged out of the taxi slowly and with a face of sheer *shock.* I bump into a girl who immediately recognizes me, gets excited and tells me she loves me. However, because i was so in ‘shockerella’ i kinda just smiled, gave her a

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