Good Afternoon My Delicious Winks of an Eye! I haven’t eaten yet, so i apologize if i turn a little ‘haven’t got laid, battle-axe’ a few lines in. Yet on the whole i’m HAPPY. I feeeEEEeeling goood! Not sure why, but Miss.Wunna has her ‘Mojo’ WORKING!! Oh my God. I am like Boy Magnet right now. I’m a Glamour puss working IT out! (She purrs!) And it seems the boys a likey! Apart from one that has committed to calling me a ‘Frigid Lesbian’ and will only let me go watch the Football in Rome with him, if i ‘put out.’ I think the exact quote was (and it has just come in via MSN) ‘i’m only letting you come to Rome if you suck ma plums!’ Hahaha! (She swigs her cocktail, and lifts up her ‘PASS’ card!) Hahaha! I love it! Boys will be boys! To be honest i’ve even tried that one before, on mere innocent fellows….it works. Not that i have plums you can suck???
Other than that, i’ve had a baby sized shoot today, I’ve wrote a little bit more of the ‘book’ and i’m so fucking sick of NO-one wanting to go out at the weekend!!! WHAT IS UP!!! Everyone knows i love a ‘good time.’ It runs through my veins like Grey Goose. I’m a happy-go lucky, cheeky cheerleader, with an evil side so sexy it would make ya ‘privates’ swell and commit to a glittery explosion. Everyone’s either poor right now, or just lying to me because they want to spend time with their ‘other half.’ (SNOOZE!) I’ve had this conversation with another fella, who i refer to as ‘Robin Hood,’ who’s just gonna go out on his own anyway and pretend he lost his friends, or say that they got thrown out in a bar fight. We’ve all done it….and it looks like i’m gonna have to pull some sort of the same kind of ‘Tom Foolery.’ I think i wanna go on a date?? I’m getting quite a lot of offers…yet i think they are just getting ‘The Wunna’ all wrong.
The best way to ‘woo’ me so to speak is to BE FUNNY. Laugh your way into my pants. I love a funny guy. Someone who doesn’t take himself too seriously, is always happy…but not sickenning. Someone who likes being a tit for the sake of random moments of comedy, teases me, treats me like a Princess, yet also a Best friend and well just basically makes me laugh. I love a joker, mainly because i am one. And it doesn’t matter whether you are the Russell Brand wordy funny, Benny Hill ‘ooh laa’ Funny, Johnny Knoxville ‘running into signs’ funny, just bitter funny or mock me funny. I will like you a lot more, than i like most. People always mistake me for some evil stuck up bitch…and i’m not. (On Fridays.) I’m a good time gal. Don’t get it twisted! (And i am refering to your penis. Ouchy!)
Last night at about midnight (i know how Cinderella of me) i got prank called. She got a Prince fucking Charming running after her…i got a Footballer (Come on MAN U) prank calling me ‘Unknown’ to tell me he ‘just got off a banana boat, and wanted to sell me bananas and brown sugar?? I think there was something about Africa and phoning a friend in there too. OMG! You should of heard me, it was HILARIOUS, because i didn’t know who it was AT ALL. I must have sounded like a tit!! Hahahah! He had truely committed to the prank, and did it rather well…so i was just LAUGHING my little tight ARSE off. I couldn’t stop. I felt dumb because i couldn’t figure out who it was. Oh my gosh it was brilliant. I was literally pissing myself. And to be honest i didn’t really know that this guy was actually that funny. He’s fucking HILARIOUS. I thought he’d be more ‘up’ himself. Now i think he’s joined the ladder of Greatness…and simply because of a little prank call. I LOVE it! And it’s not even the ‘prank’ itself that i find so funny. It’s that delicious moment when he was sat at home and thought ‘D’ya know what? I think i’ll call Chrissie and try and sell her bananas, from my banana boat.’ It keeps this floozey happy.
HAHAHAHAHA! Life is good! Most GOOGLED ‘CHRISSIE’ IN THE WORLD!!!