How tired…

For once, i’m not referring to your outfit and instead referring to my actual poor little kitty cat self. (I mistakenly typed ‘pretty’ instead of ‘poor’ just then, before I adjusted. That’s an accidental bit of internal confidence for you. OR an egomaniac at her best! OR maybe my fingers just refuse to enjoy typing the word ‘poor’ so they try and fool me with words that will compliment me, during my hours of ‘lost self.’)

Anyway, it’s just suddenly dawned on me that i have an entire human being, currently growing, living and forming in my little Burmese body, as i sit here on the sofa, with my cuppa tea and Haribo, feeling as exhausted as exhausted could ever be!! I’ve gotten really excited now and have pushed the drama to one side mentally and placed it on ‘hold’ as i do a happy dance at the fact that i have a ‘wedding night’ baby on it’s way and well even though it has come as a shock and a lot of things now have to be re-spudged…having a baby is amazing.

Now, i already have Baby Ruby who is only one and half…and being pregnant with a one and half year old isn’t going to the the easiest *wiggle* of the day, however i’m a trooper, all vixen and dry giggles. I can handle anything and well whilst i’m excited, i know the world is my oyster. Wazza has even text me today  stating that i never fail to shock him with my life and that i should come visit him and Hannah at their new house. (Which i really do need to do, i adore poking around peoples homes.)

Yet usually the ‘shocking’ stuff is always pre-planned by my little cheery self and delivered to you with a ‘Da-daaaaa.’ THIS WAS A SHOCK TO ME EVEN. So shocking that it’s taken me a couple of days to accept it, absorb it and only just now celebrate it. Although it might get in the way of work, plans and all sorts of jiggery -pokery. Having a baby is the most beautiful thing in this world and if i can’t find the ‘awww’ in me, for such a delicious moment, (even though the timing of it is a bit awkward) than what or who could i regards myself as!!! If i’ve loved anything in life, it’s been my little Baby Ruby, so to be blessed with another little addition is nothing short of a gift. I hope she doesn’t try and do away with it out of jealousy because I’m really excited and well if anything I hope it likes Haribo? (As that is currently my snack for the day.)

All i wanted to tell you really other than my excitement, was that i’m completely knackered. I don’t remember being this exhausted, this early on last time? I had a super easy pregnancy with Rubes..well i think i did? However, this time around and now that i’ve just absorbed that i am pregnant, i’ve found that i’m literally exhausted. My body is going through so much, making and forming Keiran’s child, that it’s sucking the life out of me and apparently it’s really normal? I don’t’ at all remember feeling this tired. Yet i had a lady (one that does midwifery and not just a random lady from a chip shop or wherever) tell me that it’s very normal at this time in pregnancy and that it’s because i’m in my 1st trimester. It’s just as hard as the third and i’ll be lazy, exhausted and moody for another few weeks yet. LOVELY!

How the hell have i gone form cocktail drinking, tv trips to London, filming, strutting, tottering around, to out of nowhere being told i’m in my 1st trimester and going to be having a summer baby? WHAT!!

It’s only JUST dawned on me. Here i am being all fabulous and even a M.I.L.F at the best of times and all of a sudden, the Good Lord decides on my wedding night that i should do a bit more breeding. ‘I know, lets get that Chrissie chubby, now she’s lost all that baby weight. Do we give her a chest of potatoes and multi-coloured choccie bars! No..she’ll know what we’re up too that way, we’ll wait until her wedding night entice her with love and sexy time and then  get her pregnant, see how she handles that in a bikini.’

Now, i’m not one to shy away from responsibility as i believe it’s my utter duty to embrace it and wholeheartedly love what my body is going through. (It does suck though when you’ve just lost all your baby weight, signed to an agent, filming a tv show AND you have a one year old.)  However, it’s a beautiful blessing (provided i don’t birth Satan) and like i said i’ve only just absorbed it all fully. I mean the idea has finally  oozed it’s way through my system and is currently making me smile. I feel great and time will fly. Everything happens for a reason (cling onto any cliche whenever you can and need to) and i have truck loads of support. My mum has been wonderful. My friends have been there and Baby Ruby is making the journey a blissful one. (OMG! I let Rubes bounce on my belly a week ago, when she wanted to pretend i was a circus horse!! Jeeze!)

I’ve talked to my therapist, a couple friends and my family and well they’ve put me in a much better mood and we’ll we’re all hoping that Keiran will adjust himself appropriately and lovingly embrace the job at hand…as it’s not going to be an easy next few months. The first few weeks being the most difficult and quite frankly the most precious. (I’m EXHAUSTED!! I keep needing to nap like a granny. LOL. I hate napping. It’s only something that weirdo’s do.)

But yes, i’m having a bambino. Concieved on my wedding night. I’m only 6 weeks pregnant, so it’s the very early stages yet. I blame Keiran’s libido, Ann Summers and myself for this little lovely surprise. I keep needing a nap and i’m over eating because there’s now now point in trying to lose my baby weight. The thought of it all has only just dawned on me and i’m over the drama of yesterday simply because this is far more important to me and well… i want to be as calm and happy as possible. That was a quick summary! That could’ve been my blog.

I enjoy that my friend has just text me this, ‘OMG congratulations. I’m really happy for you. You have to be super careful now because you’ve turned into a baby making machine. You’re like the most accidental fertile human i know! Oh & hope you and robotic Keiran stop fighting…you have a baby on the way..enjoy it. No wine for you Mwahah!’ 


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