Hot to Trot and Dildos

Okay, so this young lady of sexiness is a young girl, who once saw me out and about shopping. I walked past her, yet heard her whisper to her Mum something about Me being ‘Chrissie from that Paris Hilton show.’ There was a gaggle of other young teens, so my attention was being pulled back and forth. (I actually wished i was drunk, as i’m always a lot funnier with my words of wisdom to the kiddies. I’m terrible, but i don’t care. It’s what i do now, i guess? Lol.) Anyway, the girl in this picture ‘Jade’ was super shy and daren’t come up and say anything to me. I felt bad, so i kinda just looked back at her, smiled and gave her a little wave. (She didn’t know i had seen her.) Then i walked off because my Mother was getting huffy. (She forgets that she’s not the Star! ‘Close up please!’)

Anyway, about a week afterward. ‘Jade’ (because she didn’t get to really meet me) got her Grandmother to find out my phone number. She found it by calling her local press… who freely gave it out. Remember that story? (Hahaha! I love it. Jesus!!) Her grandmother randomly calls me, tells me Jade is putting on a show, explains that she was really shy and daren’t talk to me when she saw me shopping, but would love to someday meet me.

Being Chrissie Wunna, and i do get odd moments of impulsiveness. I decide that i’m gonna go down to the area in which she lives, watch her show, and well go give her a special little one on one. A bit of the old Wunna magic. That sounds a bit mucky. (‘Here little girl, you wanna she my puppies?’) But you get what i mean.  (I hope?) See i am nice, you fucking bastards of dickheads!! It was hilarious. I got so lost on my way there, driving down all sorts of odd streets that a girl like me shouldn’t ever venture unless she’s brought a clean pair of knickers and a stick of gum. I had glittery heels on and a faux fur coat. But i eventually got there, sort of flounced out of the car, watched her perform in her show, gave Jade her own little meet and greet and got very drunk on cheap vodka lime and lemonades. It was awkward too, because i ended up having to say a little speechy thing. I couldn’t even see and was BBM-ing a hot boy through most of it. I love dirty BBM-texting. (But only if i FANCY you. This is not an invitation for you to send me dirty messages. It makes me do a sick.)

Anyway, Jade knew i was coming because her Grandmother had told her (like they do) and at the end of the her show, i showed her some of the things that Paris had got me and told her secret stories of what really happened in the BBF house. I showed her the shoes i won with my nipple feathered tits and the pictures from behind the scenes. I even gave her one of the little love link bracelets that i had got from the BBF house. Not sure why i was being so charitable?? I’m going soft in my old age.

She bought me flowers, which i think is sooo sweet, as i’m sick of getting dirty underwear, phone numbers and broken dildos. I’m a glamour puss vixen…yes. Yet people often forget that i’m a girly girl too. This one guy said that he daren’t tell me how beautiful he thought i was, or how much he fancied me because he was scared i would just look him up and down and tell him to ‘Fuck off.’ (Hahaha!) I’m not evil to those who are nice to me. (Well sometimes. Mwahahaha!)  I love flowers.  I think its the sweetest thing you can give someone that you don’t know. (It’s just lovely and polite. Please don’t stop giving me the dildos, and phone numbers though. Just incase i go through a ‘dry spell. Oh shut up, i’m a whore…don’t hate!)

Anyway, this was a Chrissie Wunna ‘Do gooder’ moment…hence why i needed photographic evidence…so i can look back upon it and ‘sigh’ at my lameness. Poor Jade, imagine me just randomly turning up to your show, hugging you and showing you shoes i won with my tits! Love it!!! She’s a ballsy girl.  I love Jade!! She scores points for getting her innocent grandmother to stalk me. A Wunnarette for sure!! Fucking love it! (I didn’t even look into the right camera for her picture.)

13 thoughts on “Hot to Trot and Dildos”

  1. Why can’t people at least send you CLEAN underwear and dildoes that WORK?!!??!!??!!??

    Seriously – always knew you had a heart of gold. Never had any doubt. 🙂

  2. Brett- They often write their number on their undies, but i can’t see it through all the skid marks. Useless. This is why i need working dildos.

    Scratch- Yes, i Diamond I am. (Shit i’m loving all this praise. I should just be good more often.)

  3. Where’s my FUCKING meet Nd greet?
    Screw the little fangurl! Danny needs some loving!

    Lmao! Only joking 🙂
    A new side of the Wunna emerges!

  4. i usually send a rose to girls i “fancy” and i usually get the stalker treatment for it,anyway,very sweet move on that fan girl thing for an evil queen of broken dildos and dirty undies lmao keep up the good work! 😛


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