Holding out for a Hero


So, Friday night was awesome.

I’d worked all week, i’d auditioned, i’d run the lash line smoothly, I had contracts coming out my arse, the babies to mother and I did it…all week, like a champion. It was actually quite stressy as I had people on my back, shouting at me, pushing me further and well…just heaping those lovely ‘pressure’ shovels upon me, that I handled with a wink and a smile.

I needed my Friday night and I loved it and you could tell because as soon as I sauntered into ‘The Tap’ i beamed. I felt alive. Plus, i found out that they were now doing cocktails and as any, if not every human knows I DO COCKTAILS at any opportunity I can. I’m the kitty queen of cocktailing. I mean for fucks sake, I got on a train all the way to London just to do a ‘ for one’ bouji cocktails simply because everyone in Pontefract was being boring, remember.

Plus, I’d been moderately charitable all day. as Jenna and I had spent our time with Heart Fm, planting sunflowers with 200 children, one after the other…for about six hours. I actually enjoyed it. Yet do not underestimate how exhausting that can be. We were laughing at how exhausted we were. But like I said, I LOVED it as it’s kinda what I do best. I’m awesome with a crowd. 🙂

Okay, so I got to the tap, bought wine, bought cocktails…a flurry of friends were there…in not all of them..and well Chloe found me and convinced me she was girly, Rich told me really long sad stories about breakups, because he’s good like that (i even had to state that any story he told from that point on had to be short, upbeat and happy…so he immediately started talking about puppies)…Ben was on the lemonade and I was immediately informed of this before i even ordered my OWN drink, and when that happens it means that he’s drunk. His lemonade is his pretend ‘quadruple vodka.’ But we were of good energy on Friday and well infact, straight away, we were both feeling FUN. It was a good night, filled with banter, laughter, drinking, chitter chatter…he told me that he hated me numerous times, every time i made fun of him for no real reason other than kicks, and that his top wasn’t pink but magenta. Chloe was doing Chris’s hair and slipping off her ring, placing it on her wedding finger and simply to sing ‘Beyonce’ with me….

Life was good.

Great night. I felt fun. I looked girly. I was happy. I thought Ben new manners, like ‘not leaving with people who tell long winded stories’ and to not go in my diamante handbag to show everyone my shitty driving license picture. 🙂 I’ve noticed that if you just tell him how to treat you…he just laughs…but then learns really fast and does it. Hahaha.

We were all having so much fun and then went to ‘The Blacky’ which to me is the worse place on the planet, especially after last time and well wheneber i go it’s always filled with fighty people, chavs and really pissed boys that you can’t make eye contact with.

The good thing is that i got called ‘beautiful’ almost every minute. 🙂 AHAHAH. And as you know…i love it. We were all just ding our own thing. Random boys were being drunk and hitting on me and when that happens, i just turn off and hang out with my friends. I’ll never scope boys in bars, and because i always seem to have no interest, in drunk people that I don’t know and I have no clue why?

Ponte did not have talent that night. 🙂

Charlotte was out and she was a blast and I loved her because she kept telling me that i was awesome (lol) and then talking to me about someones willy…repeatedly. It was hilarious. Even when ‘get jiggy wid it’ was playing. ( I used to ‘heart’ Will Smith.) Anyway, her friends left early so she decided that we were ‘too pretty and too funny’ to be treated badly, so we just got more drunk and wiggled by the bar.

The night was long but fun. I had a blast and ended up in some awesome company, But once you get into the Blacky it seems to zooms by..? I remember that I kept hugging Ben, laughing and calling him ‘Little Benny’ nd every time I did, no matter how drunk he was he’d always say ‘i’m not little.’ So, i had to every time change my words and call him ‘big buff Benny.’ See…I learn too!

It got to the point where everyone was really pissed, fights had happened for no reason. (I’m the girl who will pull people away from fights.) And well that giant decision of whether anyone goes to ‘Big Fellas’ occured?

Now, i’ll always want to go to ‘Biggies’ and i have no idea why because I really do think it’s shit. I just like a dance and a wiggle and more fun, whenever fun is stopping..so i’ll try and persuade people to be the same way.

No one was that foolish and no one wanted to go. (And i don’t blame them. Lol)

Then for what seemed like the next half hour I was just draped around ‘Big Buff Bens’ neck, doing pouty lips trying to MAKE him go to ‘Biggies.’

Now, if he was going…he’d go. He’s never not gone…when i’ve been there. But he really didn’t want to because he was craving a donner pizza and when he’s craving a donner pizza and you’re distracting him with nonsense like ‘biggies’ he’s not playing.

We all walked out because The Blacky was turfing us out and my rubbish persuading him to go to ‘Biggies’ restarted. I think i must have spend another half an hour, on the cobbles, clung onto his neck in some glamourous bear hug, begging him to go…as he side stepped his way, still with me in tow towards the giant ‘Pizza Crust’ light.

I went on and on and on and on…and he even paused like he was going to back down. HAHAH. Then as we got closer to the sign..and we were both being as stubborn as can be…I just sort of released myself from the bear hug ‘side step’, wiggled myself together and merrily strutted on into ‘Pizza Crust’ with a smile on my face, after having ACTUALLY GIVEN IN.

I think he was even shocked. I certainly was i never give in. But i did. Well done me. Plus, he said that i’d feel much better in the morning when i realise that i didn’t go to ‘fellas.’

I was happy, he was happy. We ordered cheesy chips and a Donner pizza and then as I sat down, a really scruffy, overly done up, chavvy, massive racist, pisshead woman…starts making fun of the people who won ‘Pizza Crust’…because they’re Asian. UGH! Again! Is everyone in Ponte now just a massive racists? Lol

So for another 20 mins I sat there listening to this chick ramble on about them not appreciating ‘white women’ or whatever she was saying…and i said nothing as I sat down and just palmed her off as a pisshead. I even turned to Ben and said, ‘Ah yeah! Fun times. This is much better than ‘Biggies,’ you dick.’ HAHA. (Scruffy people everywhere.)

HOWEVER, whilst i sat down…and as she rambled on to the staff (and do note that she was being really, drunky, rude to them…I mean one of them is only a kid, he doesn’t need to get racially abused at 3am in the morning, by ‘scruffies.’) Ben decided to whop out a bit of ‘hero’ (and he did that twice that evening..the other was when this other random drunk was hitting on me and for the first time ever he did the ‘walk over’ say nothing move…to save me. (Always good.)

But yes, Ben decided to be a ‘hero’ and tell her what an idiot she was, tell her to quit being a massive racist, defended the staff’s honour and basically told her that she should leave. He even wanted to tell her that he ‘calves looked shit’ lol…because he didn’t know what a women would find insulting. HAHA. (Call us fat or ugly. We hate that.)

He was polite…but he went for it, like he wasn’t scared to voice his opinion, which was good, because i’ve never ever seen him do that before. So i watched and said nothing…because i didn’t even need to. Good!

Anyway, we were stood up in the corner…and she’s now telling me i’m gorgeous and could just tell him to ‘fuck off.’ Ben’s not bothered because well…he’s eating his Donner Pizza, which he ate like the cutest, most excited human ever…like a little boy on Christmas morning.

It apparently didn’t touch the sides, so he did his usual pudding, which is ‘eat my cheesy chips..’ He even told me to put chilly sauce on them…so he could eat them and more than anything…because if you’re his friend you will know that he’s very much trying to reach absolute ‘buffness’ right now, so is quite conscious over the way he may look? It means a lot to him ans he’s working hard for it…so that’s good. But to me it doesn’t make him not Ben. Yet, on the other hand, I get what it’s like to want to be or look a certain way. I’ve been that way my entire life. So..if anyone gets it..it’s me.

However, away from all that…and i’m a girl, a girly girl and i ‘ll speak for every girly girl in all the land…we like a bit of muscle and bit of arm..a bit of body. Lol. Well i do. I enjoy it on men. HAHA. I can’t help it…it makes me giggle and swoon a little. Just a little…i mean it’s fun. 🙂 And it’s only the same as  guys…no matter if they’re married, single, a good guy, bad guy… or whatever…they still enjoy to look at a little it of bum bum, and boobie. It’s human nature. It’s natural.

YET what i’m saying is that it’s those moments, when he’s super giddy and super, just stood infront of me in a Pizza shop, eating his kebab pizza that I find  adorable. HAHAAHAH. It’s endearing. HAHAH. I find it cute. HAHAH. And it’s much better than random, 8 pack, party boy…as in Wunna land, there is a bundle of them everywhere, always trying to knock of the door to slience. Yet, I like a bit of ‘happy with a kebab pizza.’ It makes my eyes smile. HAHA. Like i said…i find it cute.

Anyway, we end up walking to Natwest, to catch cabs, on the way talked about scruffy people, watched a boy almost die on a Ben with alcohol abuse.

He was only young and it was awful…and again BEN ‘heroed’ the moment once more and went and plonked him in the recovery position…on the pavement, under the bench.

He had all this friends panicking around him, poor boy..then this muscley, stupid, wanted to look ‘big’ man strutted over and lifted him back upright and tried to sit him on the bench like a knobhead. He didn’t even know what he was doing? he was kinda odd, rude and posey.

We walked off called cabs. Mine came first and I WAITED FOR HIS TO COME before i left.

We went home…

That was the end of Friday. He slept with Chilli, cheesy chips in his hand and fell asleep on the phone..and i felt like shit because i had work in the morning. But it was LAST DAY before going on holiday, so i kinda didn’t care. 🙂

Saturday night was awesome because I spent it with Rubes. Keiran has Junior as he wanted to spend time with him before i went away. So Ruby and I listened, danced and bathed to swing, jazz and motown..then we watched ‘Spider Man’ and ate Mexican food. It was AMAZING and my total favourite.

It rounded off my weekend perfectly and it especially felt great because i knew that for one solid week, there was no working for me, just chilling, forest and relaxing.

I go tomorrow and it’s also Junior’s birthday tomorrow, so this time last year i was actually in LABOUR!!!! Lol. But i’m back Friday morning…yet i’ll tell you all about that tomorrow.

I’ve been packing all night and cleaning up. I can’t wait to get there and just start the holiday. Nothing is more refreshing. (Even though i do have an audition on Monday. But after that i’ll get to do nothing and just be Mum, cook and relax. Be a family again…and that’s my favourite thing ever. I mean everyone nags on at me, all the time because i work so much and the babies are in constant nursery. But i’m doing it on my own and i need to work to make sure we all have everything we want or need in life. I see it as love and as my duty, but ofcourse I’d adore to just be Mum. I’d want to make my mark always, as i’m ambitious..yet…that will come…and well i began my eyelash business simply so one day i could do that and right now it’s looking good.


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