This is gonna sound somewhat conceited, but i always think that when boys talk to me, they’re only half listening, and half imagining that i’m butt naked, on top of and straddling their ‘cockland.’ I can always tell when they’ve drifted off into ‘not really listening, but the imaginary sex is really good’ land, as they never seem to hide it. Plus, they get a little bit more flustered with every word i say.
One boy i used to know, called Eric, (i used to date him, but due to me not being able, to be very faithful to him, because i didn’t really fancy him enough, and i was having a bad year,) we were ‘Spiltsville.’ Anyhow, he was in my bedroom on Kings Road (LA), and i guess i was just rambling on about good old nonsense. We had broken up, (by his choice) but he had come around to talk to me or something?? And although he was trying to be all ‘i don’t like you anymore,’ mixed with a little bit of politeness, and i was trying to trick him into re-dating me. (I don’t know why i do that, as it was quite clear that shagging our good friend Corey was much more interesting, at the time.) I noticed that he had a BONER. The funny thing about it, was that he also realised he had a ‘downstairs puppet show’ going on, and instead of saying, ‘Oh i have a stonker.’ He tries to HIDE it, and act as normally as possible, by positioning his body in the most ABnormal position in the world ever, and sitting in the most uncomfortable, slanted lounge pose. He was all red, puffy faced and fidgety. All awkward and thumby. All sweaty and odd.
Why do boys always try and hide the fact that they have smelly little secret BONERS?? I guess because they’re disgustingly ashamed of what is making their willy salute! In Eric’s case it was….Me!! (hahaha)
Boys are always going to be like grumbly faced, over sexed Pirates, (no matter how hard they try to disguise it) who keep trying to pull you upstairs, after every sentence you utter, and continue to tell you exactly what they think they need to, in order to tunnel your treasure. I like it! My chest does too.