So much for a quiet night it! Last night, i was twiddling my thumbs in a hotel room, drinking vino and pulling faces because i wanted to be swinging my knick knacks in the air and living the ‘i’m in London and now on the telly’ good life. Then just as i go into my third ‘sorry for myself sigh’ of the night, my pink blackberry rings and i’m ever so specially invited to go McParty and celebrate celebrating! Yeah Baby! There is a God and he’s a fucking DRUNK! YAY!
So Samuel (who’s now my gay boyfriend…we really do make a gorgeous couple,) Flic and Kat, all get dolled up and trundle off to Vendome, to milk and celebrate our new found ‘on telly’ ness. We actually have FANS and we’re all so excited that fuck it…we’re celebrating it! We spent the nighty night being insane! Wine was drunk, shots were shot, dance moves we’re aggressive and then we were roped off from everyone else, had people guarding us and well i guess it just makes it easier for us to wiggle around and slag people off! (haha) We got a lot of attention and girls flocked over to our table to say ‘Hello’ and have their picture taken with us! I LOVE all this because i’m an attention whore, so it was almost like a dream come true!! It’s all going to my head! lol! I don’t take myself too seriously, so i busted out a few good dance moves…’The Robot’ being one of the many tragic moves i have…along with ghetto boobie body pops! And well i just had the time of my life!! I can’t do much, but i can do ‘fun.’ Luckily so can my sexual gay lover Samuel. We’re starting to adore people worshipping us!! lol..It’s all boobies, vodka and gay! Love it! We’re also starting to get really popular because we can’t stop being 1% retarded. (Insert cheers of the masses!) I’m getting stopped a lot now, as is He and i guess it’s because we love to entertain, and we’re not stuck up whores. So you guys love to be entertained by us and want to come say ‘hello!’ We love it! (Even though our Booth bitch Thandi- who we think is a sexy sasserilla, kicked a couple of our girlie fans off our table. Lol. Sooo bad! I think they wanted to steal our booze or something??)
Anyway next stop was ‘Jalouse.’ We’re Sam, Flic, Kat and I met up with Paris (who had a busy day at a photoshoot and wanted to enjoy her last night in London!) If you party with paris, it’s guaranteed ‘good times.’ It was insnae, happy, party MADNESS! I just remember fireworks, booze, crystals from ceilings and camera flashes. Everyone wanted a piece of Miss. Hilton, so we kept getting McSquished. She’s changed my life so much and i feel like i have so much to thank her for. It’s amazing!! After hours of partying, she snook us and a handful of her closet friends back to her hotel room. We finished off the night chilling, watching tv and dancing around. I’m really loving life right now. I feel so grateful!
Got home at 6am!! I basically tottered in the freezing cold, dressed like a slag, with Kat at 6am around Marble Arch looking for a taxi. We got a lot of offers, yet none we’re from taxis. Yay! Hookers rock! This one guy, who was quite obviously just some pervert, pulled up in his very dodgey car and pretended he was a taxi. TWe must have looked tragic…or just ‘easy peasy.’ Anyway we finally find one, and i strutted into my hotel at 6am, where everyone else is up, fresh and ready for breakfast and staring at me like i’m the worst thing to ever have lived! (haha!) Not really though, the Hotel guys love me. They say i ‘sleep all day and party all night and come back looking like the happiest person who ever lived!’ I was all fur coats, rhinestones and holding my heels, due to severe blistering. I was not happy. We almost got trapped in an elevator at 6.05am, but luckily the Gods saved us and i crashed at 6.15!! Love it! You only live once, so do it RIGHT bitches!