Glitzy fricking so & so’s…..

Kiity cat *bonking* occured by the ‘still up’ Christmas tree on the SCS sectional sofa, under a chandelier and after a rum. Good bonking. The kind where you know the other end of the penis stick…that you always find attached to a man…loves you. Technically, he did have to take a *pause* to run off naked, over a cream carpet and through a kitchen in order to perform a wee. (‘Keiran your such a slag! Look at YOU!’-He was on his back..naked, legs open and  on my sofa.) However, as always, he returned…and proceed the art of ‘Le Bonk‘ once more. The second time around was exceptionally good. Not sure what he was thinking, but probably about me going back into modelling…it felt all kinds of tingley and well after a *wipe up* we got back to living our fairytale. 🙂 (‘Aww..Chrissie i love fucking you. I love your titties and your face..and your fanny..and wait it’s in the wrong order!’) Note to those concerned…he WAS joking. It’s how we roll..until i get mad. I got mildly mad last night because i was tired, so i decided to briefly take it out on him calling me a ‘fibber’ about wardrobes. He enjoys to wind me up because it’s funny. Yet if i wind him up, he immediately gets angry. At least i have a 1 minute ‘HAAHAHA’ moment…until i’m fucking pissed off and storming out of the room, with my angry *dolly* face on.

Our relationship is really stable right now. We can’t actually believe we’ve managed to do this whole ‘forever’ thing so well. We really do, do it better than anyone. We’ve now reached a comfortable stage of ‘still alive’ love. The safe kind. I tried to book us a forest log cabin retreat today to celebrate it…yet there were none avaiable with a hot tub for at least 2 months. 🙂 Really..there wasn’t. I love the idea of Keiran, Rubes and I stranded in Sherwood forest, in some massive log cabin…with a hot tub bubbling and champagne a flowing. He’s want to go lift trees. I’d want to go…well i’d want to stay in with booze. 🙂

Okay, today hasn’t been that bad. It started off awfully. Like SHIT, to be honest and simply because i was trapped in hoards of people, half with  umbrellas, half with scarves, plastic bags, hands, chidlren, other people’s hands and Lord knows whatelse wrapped around their heads, as we all attemtped to *dart* across a busy Leeds city centre street and out of the train to get to work on time. I tucked my hair into my work coat and shoved a brown (the one i wore on the Hilton show) Farmer’s Flat cap on top of it in order to find shelter. (You don’t want me to be your only company when stranded on a desert island. Well actually fuck that..i’d be good at making coconut cock…tails. 🙂 ) Anway, yeah.the rain is really starting to fuck me off now and because it’s runing my weave. *Mmmkay* Today i was meant to start my diet for my shoot that i’ve managed to booked…instead i bought a giant bacon and hash brown butty, with a Dr.Pepper at 9.02am on York Place at ‘Nosh‘ in order to comfort my pretty and somewhat tragic self.

Today, i decided to play ‘Talent Agent.’ (I did use to be one in LA. I worked for a chubby man, who really didn’t know what he was doing? Luckily…i did!) On the train this morning, lip glossing and talking to a delightful gay man, with a wife, who wanted to know all about my time with Paris Hilton. I looked down and casually scrolled through my mobile Facebook…saw a casting for male models…and immediately decided to sign Keiran (My handsome-handsome ‘hubbster’) up for it…without his knowledge. I’m good like that.

After a hunt for pictures, various emails, secret phone calls in toliets and winks, between *hair-tossing*…i got what i wanted. They jumped at the chance to represent him and he goes in to see them tomorrow for an interview. He’s already being submitted for a big job, which we hope he gets. Therefore i figured i might aswell book him in for a small shoot so he can get his proper pictures done. I’ve noticed that i always eventually always tend to treat my boyfriends like ‘projects.’ Not to change them. But to (what i call 🙂 ) BETTER them..make them flourish and see their potential out. I do entertainment and it’s all i truely know. *Wiggle here* He wants to do entertertainment…so well i’ve waited until the right time and now i’m ready to sort my ‘Old man Thompson’ (even though he’s my Toyboy Husband)…out. *Giggles behind hand*

I’ve been texting my publisher today. The book is all exciting, hopefully it’s not too  rude and hopefully you’ll all go out and buy it when i tell you. 😉 Money and the exchange of it, was discussed today. ( I make it sound like some ‘Kitty cat’ mafia. Bitches in stockings and with teddy bears!) I used to be all nervous about it. However now i’m strangely confident. I can’t wait to get my arse on the book tour. I can’t wait to meet you all. I can’t wait for the promo…I’ve just got an email in for both Ruby  and Keiran from agencies wanting to represent them and Channel 5’s ‘The Wright Stuff’ want me to go be on the show?

There’s a lot that goes into getting a book out and i’m learning..well i actually already knew..that it’s all about timing. I’m currently waiting for that ‘exciting email.’ The ones that you wait and wait for over  few jolly days, in between cups of tea and faith. It’s about my representation…and well if all goes to plan, i’ll finally be able to high five my ‘DIVA’ self and call myself a champion. The only emails coming in right now are ones telling me about my gzillion pounds that i have stored in some random Malaysian bank account, after winning some ‘not real’ Euro lottery, with all the ‘buy for free now?’ Viagra that i purchase??? Can you all *will* the exciting email to venture into my inbox..Oh and we want it to say GOOD things. REALLY GOOD things, that start with ‘Definitely…let’s meet up for a chat about it all..’ and not ‘Yeah you’re great BUT…’

It’s weirdly all go in Wunna land right now. All glitzy and *yum-yum.* I feel like i’m living a double life. It’s like being Clark Kent..but not at all because i have tits and can’t be arsed with the costume changes?

I’ll get back to you later… (I made Keiran a rum for tea last night…he had to follow it up with 3 packets of crisps. This is how WE do it! 🙂 ) Windy today,wasn’t it!


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