Just risen from my chambers, with a cat on my face. I couldn’t sleep all night, as for some reason i could hear a Circus in my room, everytime i tried to get some shut eye. Don’t you just hate it when that happens? I’m the kinda girly that needs her sleep. If i’m being disturbed…even if it’s by an imaginary Circus, then i’m an annoying WHORE of a crazy lady.
I’m about to go shopping, so i’m keeping this brief. It’s a Doncaster day today, as i always spend Sundays with my family. Yesterday i invested in eating a RAW wild boars sausage, which made me somewhat sick , followed by a prune eating test. Like i said, life on the ‘Z’ list, isn’t as fun as it used to be. I was dared out of sheer boredom to eat 22 seedless prunes, in order to see if it would give me diahorrea. The funny thing is that it actually did. I firstly had a severe case of the ‘trumps’ that smelt like ‘wild boar’ and then a tummy ache so bad, that if i didn’t spend some quality time with the toilet bowl…i may have probably DIED (Stop the cheering!)…and from eating PRUNES!
I loved ‘Britains Got Talent ‘last night, especially the really rubbish, yet somewhat GENUIS DJ Talent. (‘If i say Britain.You say Talent. Britains got talent. It’s the DJ Talent.’) He’s like a hip/hop-child molester version of Timmy Mallet after half a bottle of malt whisky. I want him in my entourage. Alongside, the five people i put in my ‘Who i’d want on my side in a bar fight’ Quiz on Facebook. The special selection (and i would really want these people on my side in a bar fight) are as follows: Gary Glitter (everyones scared of a Paedophile.) Midgets. (They’re good for the crazy running around and ankle nibbling.) Pussy Galore. (Just because she had ‘Pussy’ as her name.) A Sumo Wrestler, that eats children for breakfast. (As children are by far the worst.) And ‘this little pervert.’ (You always have to add in another pervert. Even the strongest man alive is scared of a boney fingered pervert.)
Other than that i spent most of the day talking to Fernando this dreamy chunk of italian hunk, who i’ll never meet, yet adores me anyway. He has been dating a young lady for 3 weeks, but has made the rather wrong but executive decision to want to date me. I promised myself i wouldn’t flirt with him, but then something took over me and i found myself typing ‘Come to Mama’ on his Facebook wall. (Hahahaha. Delicious. It’s a classic Wunna move.) Boys are quite foolish. I’m awful to date. Lots of fun, yet simply AWFUL. I seriously am a merry pain in anyones arse. Saying that my favourite type of boy is a ‘latin lover’ type….so bring it on Fernando (who i’ll never meet anyway.) Oh and i’m gutted that i missed the Manchester United match yesterday. GUTTED. I’ve rooted for Man U, ever since i realized how hot the boys on that team are. Ronaldo took his shirt off. HOW DID I MISS THAT!!!! I’m losing my touch. The old Chrissie Wunna would NEVER have missed such a feast.
God, my stomach actually still kills from eating those fucking prunes. Hahahaha! Going shopping. See you there!