Give me dates

Had a dream that Craig Phillips was nestling his face in my ‘even gianter in my dreams’ chest and trying to have sex with me. I don’t at all fancy him, so have no idea why he pussyfooted into my dreams?? Maybe because i watched ’60 Minute Makeover??’ (Becareful, my pretties, one minute your staring at odd looking wallpapered kitchen selves they’re putting up and the next minute, you’re having Craig rub his face in your boobage, in dreamland.) Saucy! Down, Kitty, DOWN!!

I have so much work to get on with today. I’m meant to be working right now. I have a solid full day that began at 7.01am, and will finish around ‘when it’s done’ o clock. I’ve been sitting on my arse doing bollocks all, over the past 2 days, only to realise that i have a MAJOR sized task, like ‘book editing’ that needs to be completed, like yesterday. I stayed up into the early hours doing it, after watching ‘The Secret Millionaire.’ It made me feel bad for not working very hard, so i scrambled for my laptop, and my sense of spirit. I wonder whether the ‘millionaires’ are really ALL millionaires, on that show, as it seems they all live in the same house??? Every week, there’s a shot, where the millionaire sits with his dog, or his wife, sipping champagne after a hard days work, in his ginormous mansion. Yet, it’s always the same ginormous mansion, massively long staircase and chandelier…for each and every millionaire. The walls are even painted the same!! They must all bundle in together?? There’s enough room!

Anyway, before i start working, i wan’t to know WHY the boys in LA, are so much more romantic than than the boys in England? Seriously, first dates in Hollywood are baby fairytales. You meet a random boy, he offers to take you out to dinner. That night he’ll pick you up, flowers in his hand, treat you to the most romantic expensive or ultra fun restuarant…(or just ‘Koi,’) order you the Lobster and then after paying for it all, AND all you’re drinks (but obviously that’s just to get you sauced up, so you give blowjobs,) then take you to a bar or club, drop you off, try and have sex with you, be understanding when you say ‘NO, I’ll bonk you tomorrow,’ and text you that night before you nod of to sleep saying they had,’ so much fun, can we meet tomorrow?’ Then they make the second meeting EVEN better. (Yet, by the third they’re over you, unless you’re HOT.) I think i’ve been to every restuarant in the whole of LA, just by going on first dates. (Note: in LA, you’re allowed to go on as many first dates as you want…it’s not like England. I’m not a whore-face. Honest…!) I even began to know all the staff in every hotspot. (By name! HUSSY alert!)  Same girl, different boy!! They probably thought ‘SLUT,’ yet it doesn’t matter really, as they’re totally gonna be nice to you’re face. (HOoooolllllllywoood!!) Saying that i did get sick of ‘Koi’ and ‘The Ivy.’ They are no longer romantic date spots to me. They’re just spots to chill with your friends before you go out on a bender.

Men in England aren’t like that at all. They meet you, take you out for a beer….you’ll probably pay, and then they want you to spend the rest of your entire life with them, based on that!! (And you’re not supposed to go on any dates with any other suitors, during the ‘one drink’ dating phase.) No English man has ever, mailed me a gift, brought me flowers, or been ultra romantic, like EVER. But that’s probably because i was emotionally raised in Hollywood. Hence, my hideous attitude. Hurrah!! (haha) Saying that, i know i’m absolutely wrong, as i’ve never really dated a proper English gentleman….just a baby bag, half full of ‘no hopers.’ There are some very decent gents out here. (They’re just not as good looking!) But they do give you you’re happily ever after. (But that does kinda stop you, from joyfully dating around.) Ho-hum!

3 thoughts on “Give me dates”

  1. i like u chrissie but u need ot stop piping up about england is doing me cannister in u make us sound like tight cunts never once has a bird i have taken out baught for her own drink i normally take em to a nice restaurant and they can order what they want. yes we aint all flowers and that we are proper fridges not irons england aint all bark its bite. i hope u have a lovely day chrissie and u acomplish all of your graft babe i just feel i have to stick up for us as everyone thinks they can shit on england but when it comes down to it who is always there having with america?

  2. good good i got ot stick up for st george aint i and basicly i know essex boys are hotter and more romantic than fridges form la or anywhere else in the world so i aint aving no pipe. i do still ove u chrissie u do make me laugh babe


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