How gorgeous is the weather in Yorkshire today!! It’s SUNNY , it’s beautiful and i’ve been up since 7am working my ‘dilly dallies’ off. (Code for: Winking, pouting, and hugging people that don’t want to be hugged for a kodak moment.) Now my day of work is fully complete, (Yippeeee) therefore i’ve opted for mixing up a little ‘ooh laa-baby’ in the form of Springtime Umbrella drinks. Previously in Wunnaland ( i do enjoy saying that, like my world is a show…and well it kinda is 🙂 ).. Springtime Umbrella drinks were a deifinte ‘no to the go’ -age, and simply because there was a distinct lack of English Springtime weather. I’m in powder pink and lemon, and i’m making over the top garden cocktails for Me and my Daddy (Biological, not ‘sugar’…i don’t need one of those. The Biological one acts as both. lol) I totally love OVER the TOP. I mean, if you’re gonna do something, times it by ten and do it PROPERLY and in a rather glamourous fashion. (Jonny, is currently asking me to help him via BBM. I don’t think so!! I’ve helped him far too much in life. He has completely lost ALL Wunna Priviledges…and because he’s not at all a ‘being’ who deserves them. It almost humours Me. He needs to learn respect.)
Last night was LOVELY. All i remember of it was feeling merry, happy, in love and then watching a witch on my telly rub her groin ferociously at Me, by a fireplace. Witch Porn? I was mildy aroused, which doesn’t at all disturb Me. However, what does disturb Me, is the fact that i wanted to get kinky with my Kebab for a good 4 minutes. Now, that is oddly quite wrong and i WILL be thrown in hell for it. I’ve never looked at a kebab before and got *twinges* ?? It’s pure meat porn. Reminds me of a restuarant that i used to go to in LA, that was inside The Four Seasons, called ‘Cuts.’ I think?
Basically, it’s a wonderfully posh steak ‘waiting list’ restuarant, where they parade these giant cuts of meat, at your table, almost in a magically sexual fashion, in order for you to pick your bit of ‘delicious.’ (If you’re a veggie, i’m really sorry for making you gip up.. I do love a bit of red meat. *Giggles- puts it in mouth*) My friends and i labelled it ‘Meat porn.’ A great venue to enjoy a bit of steak…however, make sure you’ve sold your body for a week before hand because it’s $20 per single OUNCE of steak and the minimum size of purchase is 6 ounces . Therefore, without even anything else…drinks, dates, side orders, you will have burnt a $120 red meat hole, in your pocket. Between us all, we had spent waaaay over a grand and a half for dinner. I actually feel bad for our dates now. 🙂 It’s really ace being a girl.
We ended up hitting the normal Hollywood hot spots for cocktails and winking, getting trollied, and going to LAX to fly to Vegas for a laugh. (In Ponty we go to ‘The Barley Mow’ for a laugh. In Hollywood we fly to Vegas.) Anyway, they wouldn’t let us on the plane, because one of the boys was ‘can’t see’ drunk, & threatenning to shoot people, therefore we left him (great friends) and flew to Vegas…only to find it boring after an hour and fly back to LA.( Hahahaha.) What awful, human beings we were! But that’s growing up in Hollywood for you. Amazing time! Can’t wait to go back and spaz all my money, all over again on future GREAT memories and men.
Works really good right now…i can’t really tell you what’s going on, because i’m simply not allowed, which i know is annoying. However, the rest of the day will be spent book writing. I actually can’t wait until i’m back up and perfoming for the masses. I enjoy the entertaining part, more than all the rest of it. I’m just naturally good at the art of ‘acting a fool, ‘ and well if i can make a living out of it…then why not! Infact, one of the guys from a hit MTV show, did tell me at a 3rd street, coffee shop in LA, one fine 11 o clock morning, that he was over the moon with the hilarious fact, that he had made his living by being a complete and utter ‘Jackass!’ ‘(One of my favourite shows.)
I got my period today, but i’m surprisingly happy and not at all hormonal. I’ve just remembered walking down Wazza’s stairs after a night of party and party, asking the boys why my legs hurt? My morning usually being with questions. (Where are the pain killers?/Why do my legs hurt?/Whos wife beater am i wearing?/Who the fuck are you???) Anyway, it was fine, both Wazza and Chris assured me that the ‘hurt ‘ was from them forcing my legs behind my head, whilst i was asleep after a heavy round of Rohypnol. I mean they were kind enough to set the alarm, so they could pull my legs back down, to their original setting in time, so i would have zero recollection of what happened in the morning. Aww…so sweet! 🙂
Anyway enough of the jiggery pokery…i’m having a lovely day. I’m getting a great deal of love from the fellas today. You are being the sweetest of gents! Boys from Scotland. Boys from Spain. Boys from Iceland. Boys from Africa. Boys from New York. Boys from Holland. I do love it. It makes me feel ‘special.’ Anyway, I’m gonna go play with my day and i wish you all a great one. Do something hilarious, that will later be worth Tweeting! (‘Loverboy’ came to the conclusion last night, that my whole entire being was created for the simple joys of a man. Be they gay or straight. And the fact that I’m always needing something in my mouth means i’d always be great at parties.) Love you bitches. *shimmie*
Taken in Leeds..a friend of a friend, who i fell of two stools for. 🙂
