Getting it back to ‘normal’


‘Prostitutes in Greece wore sandals with imprints that said “Follow me” on the ground to attract clients.”

That’s my Wunna Fact of the day and a fact that I find absolutely HILARIOUS. I mean how EASY must men be!?! Pahaha! They even follow footprints in the sand simply to score a blowjob or a binky bonk.

‘Oh look Bob, it says ‘follow me for sex’ in the sand. I’ll have to pay a bunch of Euros for it, ย but hurrah lets get laid.’ Lol.

Saying that, it doesn’t really matter whether one pays the price for a prostitute, as I’ve heard many a gent state that in the real world, you end up having to pay for sex anyhow, be it mentally, emotionally, physically or financially. ๐Ÿ™‚ I don’t know why i’ve classed a world where you don’t sleep with prostitutes as ‘the real world?’ Odd. Lol. Like the prostitute bonking world is some kind of magical fairy tale of brothel. #yuk

I had the BEST one hour sleep this morning between the hours of 6am to 7am. I don’t know what had happened, but I was up through the night with my darling teething bambino and it was at 6am that he decided to rest. I must have fund my way into the other room, naked and passed out cold on the comfy new bed. Let me tell you dolls! I woke up with a gent hovering over me with a smile…a warm smile as I rose from the most magnificent SLEEP I had ever had. It has been a REALLY LONG TIME ย since i’ve slept for a whole hour straight, in the starfish position, with no children in the bed, no puddles of wee or whining. I’ve missed it. It was not word of a lie DIVINE. It’s now the simple pleasures that get me going because it’s the simple things that have been taken from me. ๐Ÿ™‚ I BEAMED a smile of absolute satisfaction at 7am after my wake up. I couldn’t have felt better and well…it certainly plonked me in the best morning mood ever! Hellooo Monday! (Then Ruby woke up. I went to greet her with an excited ย ‘Hi Baby, how are you? It’s Mummy!!!’ What did she do? She slide off the side of the bed, ran straight passed me, at the speed of light, after elbowing me out the way, out the door, through the hallway and into the other room to find a better option. ๐Ÿ™‚ She did. And that option was..well she screamed it with utter glee…’DADDY!!!!’ That’s the last time I let her live rent free in my womb!! ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Okay, so i’m waiting for good news today and although i’m doing the ‘stay positive’ thing, i’m terrified and I can’t help it. I’m sure i’ll know today. But life has been sprinkled with the odd ‘ah shucks no,’ here and there, so i always have that underlying feeling of ‘what if?’ That’s an extremely bad habit for anyone to have. So if you do, don’t. It’s shit. REAL confidence is what matters and well the only way to be a success is to be really good at what you do..then get great PR. ๐Ÿ™‚ Apparently it also helps if you’re sexy. I agree with that, after living a life funded by ‘sex appeal.’ ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m actually feeling quite sexy these days myself. The ‘had a baby’ slum is wearing off and i’m getting back to my merry, sexy, fashionable self. I’m smiling, I’m looking good and i’m beginning to be me again. After pregnancy you NEED to celebrate this phase as it’s usually about 4 months after you have a baby. Well it is for me because i’m vain. I’m one who believes in not letting yourself go and making sure you remain glam through the process of life and life giving. I’m now at the four month ‘check mark’ after having Junior and even I can see a change in my strut. I’M BACK.



Doll outfit…


(It doesn’t get cuter than that! ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

Marvellous weekend, in fact marvellous last few days and because it’s been filled with happiness, love, future plannings and devotion. Life is getting back to normal and the fact that my normal is marvellous makes me one very lucky kitty cat. The best thing to do is always the RIGHT thing. You always know the right thing. Even if you pretend that you don’t. I’m happy. It’s getting back to perfect.

I shopped at the weekend with the babies. Had a screaming match with a chick who swerved into my parking spot at the last minute. ‘It’s a PARENT/CHILD SPOT! YOU DON’T HAVE NAY KIDS!!!!’

I won that war, even though she fought it like a bitch on heat. I would’ve run her over if she didn’t move. She even called me a ‘Chinky BITCH.’ Lol. I just looked at her, with both my babies asleep in the back, (this is all in a multi story car park by the way) then got out the car and whilst laughing AGREED with her statement and added a ‘YEAH AND WITH ย TWO CHILDREN!! SO*swear here* MOVE.’ ๐Ÿ™‚ Firstly, the sheer injustice of her parking there, got on my tits and secondly the fact that she thought that I was going to cart a two year old and a newborn 20 minutes away simply to find parking, when I’m in heels pissed me off. She obviously doesn’t get the art of glamour pussing or ‘yummy mummying.’ But you could tell that from her ‘needed to be wearing a bra’ and ‘needed to not be in a scrunchie’ at 30 something years old. Oh and the scowl was quite off putting…Oh and the smoking whilst she ‘Yorkshire’ swore at me was not what I call delicious. She even had a floppy face. Even her own cheeks were trying to run away from her. ๐Ÿ™‚ Okay…bitching over. ๐Ÿ™‚ Don’t mess with my kids.

Other than all that, shopping was fun, went on a bit of a house hunt but more of that later…lots of love and family time took place and well Sunday was dedicated to birthday partying. Ruby LOVES a BIRTHDAY PARTY. I cannot even explain to you how much she LOVES a birthday party. She went to her nursery friend Emma’s birthday party at Astrabound at the weekend. They both went and from the moment we got there Ruby was OFF, rushing around with laughter, climbing up all sorts and walloping herself off giant ‘god knows whats.’ She loved it. Every minute of it. In fact she sneaked into the over 6yrs old area, when no-one was looking, which was as high as the sky. Climbed her way to the top and waved at me gleefully with a ‘MUMMY WATCH ME’ before throwing herself off some tumbling, soft play, lofty height of madness. Those moments are awkward because firstly she shouldn’t have been in there and secondly it’s a bit hard to hide that i’m her mum. #onlyasiansontheblock ๐Ÿ™‚ So, if she’s naughty, everyone immediately looks at me with a ‘that’s your loin fruit.’ LOL. I love seeing her happy. I’m getting her in gymnastics as soon as she’s 3.

Now, my sonny son, Baby Junior is CRAZY popular with the ladies. He knew each and every single toddler in that joint and he rinsed it. He had every female from the age of 2 to 102 fawning over him with drool. The parents where coming up to me, EVEN THE DADS ย stating how great it was to finally meet him because their daughters had named all their babies ‘Baby Junior’ or ‘Junior Thompson.’ It was hilarious.

It actually got to the point that whenever I sat down with him, within minutes a baby sized crowd formed around me like I had Baby Jesus on my knee or something? (Step a side Mary, there’ s a new bitch in town. Virgin my arse!)

Life is good and it was all made well by a family chat with my Mum. A Daddy appearance filled with ‘things are going to be great,’ excitement. A freshly roasted beef joint…and a smile.

This morning, waking up was fabulous. I felt wonderful. It was also great t have EVERYONE who was meant to be there…there. Being in the right place, makes a big difference. I guess,that hows any opportunity, be it in love, in work or in faith operates?

I will tell you though that every single day that my son has woken up, from birth to being four months old, he has woken up and *beamed* the most adorable smile, followed by a silent giggle. And that’s EVERY DAY OF HIS LIFE SO FAR. No word of a lie. I want to keep it that way, so when HE’S 30, he’s the exact same way and then spread that throughout the whole family, which is exactly what will happen. *Wiggle-Wink*





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