Fuck me nails!

‘Well that isn’t very pleasant,’ is what i said after hearing that evil boy gangs in Leeds, drive around at night, with their headlights turned off, hoping that you will ‘flash’ (as in headlights, not privates) them. If you do, they shoot you! BANG! DEAD! I mean, how rude!! I don’t know how they came up with that crap game?? Like there isn’t enough roadkill on the streets, already??? I guess they were just bored. You’re know you’re old, when you hear stories like this. When i was a wee teenager, i’d just come home watch ‘Neighbours,’ do my homework, and practice ballet dancing to a cuddly toy audience. (Geek) Kids nowadays, think, ‘hey where are those guns we had?? I know, lets go drive around in the dark with no headlights on, and kill people for fun!! YEEEEEEah man! Maybe we can get a defenseless young child this time!!’ Bloody hell!! There are way more fun things to do boys!! Like ‘Walk the Winky’ to porn, cans of beans, your Mother or something?? Shoot a different kind of load. (I guess that’s my ‘educational video’ part!!)

Anyway, bollocks to all that!! I have the sexiest, most OOH LAA, ‘please immediately scratch them across my back, as you make sweet love to me’ nail extentions, in the world ever!! They are glittery, black, red, rhinestoney, sexy bitch, fuck me nails, and i am in lust with them!! If i ran one slowly down your chest right now, you’d decorate your pants in approx. 3.4 seconds, and then bashfully venture some back for more. I LOVE THEM!! They even send rushes of excitement to my own ‘lower region’, just with a look. They are the bomb McDiggy. OOOOh laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I felt 50% all day, until i purchased these fine works of art. Great money spent!! But saying that, i did actually feel hot anyway, in a pink, ‘i’m in the military’ kind of frilly shirt thing!! (hahah) It got a lot of ‘Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllloooooooo’s,’ from builders. It served me well, yet not as greatly as my fuck me nails are about too. (Purrr…!)

A brilliant, ‘maybe consumed too much coffee’ blond lady named Gina, (Queen of nails) is the hero that created the Chrissie Wunna ‘fuck me’ nails. She did claim she wanted to ‘make love to them,’ and marry me, whilst telling a story about how she once did a lecture in front of a bunch of doctors, and a panty liner she had stuck on her breast,  (don’t ask) floated to the floor, mid, cardiology  speech (don’t really know, i was only nodding and smiling) but anyway, people thought it had fallen out of her vagina, so she had to flee  the medical world in shame. Then her bubbly yorkshire sidekick, told me that she has an obsession with dwarves, and if she so happens to find one, she follows them. Apparently, if you follow one for a good amount of time, they eventually ask you for help. She followed one all the way to ‘Morrisons,’ and helped it climb shelves. Then reminded me of the fact that they have to get their homes modified ‘and everything.’ Do they?? Oh i didn’t know?? I always thought dwarves, had to get by using giant sized things, in their homes, everyday. I’m border line ‘dwarf.’

Big day tomorrow. Unfortunately can’t tell you anything about it!! A bit scared now, but whatever, it’ll be fun…i hope!!! Kisses

1 thought on “Fuck me nails!”

  1. please rub your lovely nails down me then chrissie as i need something to cheer me up i need ot know if the messiah is still in a job. how stupid do those young kids in leed sound babe. good luck tommorow chrissie u will knock who ever u have to impress bandi babe as we all know uare the bollox chrissieyake came me old mucka tada scratchxxx


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