Back-ache is the term that best suits this moment! My back kills, and it’s all because of my stupid Ortopedic (don’t care if i spelt it wrong) bed. Having been raised in a family of Doctors, i am forced to sleep on such a bed. I have spent ages trying to perfect my essential ‘arched back’, only to find that my Nazi Orthopedic, must ruin my life bed, has been forcing it, to straighten out, every single bloody night!!! This causes ACHE, and not the good kind. I need a slave to massage me. Are they back in fashion yet?
Now i can’t remember what i wanted to tell you, but i will say that i apparently ‘wasn’t’ the ‘Porcupine’ in the story. I was meant to be the ‘Hugger,’ (one who hugs even though it hurts.) WHAT!!! Why bloody send me a story if i’m not even the flipping STAR ??? lol…Thats like saying, ‘Hey Chrissie, i’m like a massive fan, now will you please butt out the way, and help me try and find Lucy Pinder…’ Plus the story wasn’t even about me, it was about some chick in a coffee shop in LA, called Ruth!!! What is this world coming too??? This is not the correct way to treat an ‘attention whore.’ GO BACK to SCHOOL, you monkies!! (How Abusive…i have problems.) Ooh this coffees good, it’s got a real kick. But it’s nothing like the liquid crack they sell at the ‘Kings Rd Cafe’ in Weho. It’s the only coffee blend that keeps you up for days.
Everyone keeps telling me to be, look, and exist in a more ‘NATURAL’ fashion. The whole beauty to me is that i’m a complete weirdo…i’m not meant to be Natural. Everyone keeps telling me to take my dark smokey eye shadow off, and replace it with a more neutral skin tone beige!! I’M NOT BEIGE!! I’m also being told to dispose of my squeezey tight ‘cheerleader looking Brazil dress,’ and be a t-shirt and jeans kinda girl. AAaaaaaargh!!! STOP!! I am definitely not scared to ‘not fit’ the norm, so FUCK off (hahaha) and bother someone else. I’m ACE, I’m HOT and i WILL stiletto all over your heart!! (shit this coffee IS good.)