So i made a giant Snow Bitch with a boob job earlier and yeah it was really pretty pointless. I mean for a whole 5 minutes, i was simply dandy and excited by the whole ‘ooh-arr’ fluffy snowness, however i then got bored..(too much having to roll snow into a ginormous ball, kills ya soul after 3 seconds.) I then looked around and realised i was on my own, my lonesome, having a ‘party for one,’ pushing this massive and exceedingly heavy ball of snow, (which was as big as an elephant,) across my garden like an unfit lunatic and decided that if this is my life right now, then i’m pretty fucked. (And not the good kind!) I’ve gone from sunshine and red carpets, to heaving fucking balls of snow up and down my Mothers garden. I feel as though my life has always swung from one extreme to the other. When will i reach my ‘happy place?’ Whatever! My life rocks! I’ve heard stability is over-rated anyhow! Save me from myself!
Surprisingly (or not very if you know me) i managed to get horny mid-Snow Bitch building. Maybe it was the snowy boob job i gave it, or just the squeezing and pushing that got my juices flowing. I don’t really care what it was. I love feeling horny. lol…It turns me from cheeky bubbly nuisance, into Vixen. I’m like a Slutty Superhero. So i had to abort my Snow Bitch Building mission (which is fucking boring sober anyhow) and slide off to ‘Love Land’ (my bedroom) to get a bit ‘Sexual’ with My jolly self! Loving it! ‘Fiddle in the Middle. ‘Works every time. I was even tlaking dirty to myself. Lol… I must have tired myself out too…(God i hope my dad doesn’t read this…like EVER,) as one minute i was ferociously ‘rubbing it’ monkey style…and the next minute (and yes after the ‘uh-uh Oooh’ part,) i was waking up after a giant 20 minute nap!! I fell asleep afterward and couldn’t even remember! CHAMPION! I think masturbating is healthy, so stop the judging. If you don’t do it…you should! (Especially if you’re a girl) It’s important to know you’re body well, plus guys love a girl who knows where and how to be touched. It saves them work, when drunk. Hahaha…Such a good role model!
Anyway, i would’ve taken a picture of my crap Snow Bitch, but it really wasn’t anything to be proud of. Infact, i’m not sure how Eskimos do it?? All that work and lifting of snow, just to make an bloody igloo and then having to go feel yourself up behind a penguin, due to the unsual erotic effect snow building has had on you. It must be a the hardest of lives! 20 min naps, all around.
God, i’m all ‘juiced up ‘again after talking about snow being ‘Sexual.” I’m absolutely dying for someone to be snooping around my crotch.’ I think i deserve it. I’ve worked hard this week. For some reason i’m not as ‘easy’ as i use to be. Still very sexual, just not as willing to dish it so quickly. Not sure why? It’s baaaaad.