Fiddle in the Middle

So i made a giant Snow Bitch with a boob job earlier and yeah it was really pretty pointless. I mean for a whole 5 minutes, i was simply dandy and excited by the whole ‘ooh-arr’ fluffy snowness, however i then got bored..(too much having to roll snow into a ginormous ball, kills ya soul after 3 seconds.) I then looked around and realised i was on my own, my lonesome, having a ‘party for one,’ pushing this massive and exceedingly heavy ball of snow, (which was as big as an elephant,) across my garden like an unfit lunatic and decided that if this is my life right now, then i’m pretty fucked. (And not the good kind!) I’ve gone from sunshine and red carpets, to heaving fucking balls of snow up and down my Mothers garden. I feel as though my life has always swung from one extreme to the other. When will i reach my ‘happy place?’ Whatever! My life rocks! I’ve heard stability is over-rated anyhow! Save me from myself!

Surprisingly (or not very if you know me) i managed to get horny mid-Snow Bitch building. Maybe it was the snowy boob job i gave it, or just the squeezing and pushing that got my juices flowing. I don’t really care what it was. I love feeling horny. lol…It turns me from cheeky bubbly nuisance, into Vixen. I’m like a Slutty Superhero. So i had to abort my Snow Bitch Building mission (which is fucking boring sober anyhow) and slide off to ‘Love Land’ (my bedroom) to get a bit ‘Sexual’ with My jolly self! Loving it! ‘Fiddle in the Middle. ‘Works every time. I was even tlaking dirty to myself. Lol… I must have tired myself out too…(God i hope my dad doesn’t read this…like EVER,) as one minute i was ferociously ‘rubbing it’ monkey style…and the next minute (and yes after the ‘uh-uh Oooh’ part,) i was waking up after a giant 20 minute nap!! I fell asleep afterward and couldn’t even remember! CHAMPION! I think masturbating is healthy, so stop the judging. If you don’t do it…you should! (Especially if you’re a girl) It’s important to know you’re body well, plus guys love a girl who knows where and how to be touched. It saves them work, when drunk. Hahaha…Such a good role model!

Anyway, i would’ve taken a picture of my crap Snow Bitch, but it really wasn’t anything to be proud of. Infact, i’m not sure how Eskimos do it?? All that work and lifting of snow, just to make an bloody igloo and then having to go feel yourself up behind a penguin, due to the unsual erotic effect snow building has had on you. It must be a the hardest of lives! 20 min naps, all around.

God, i’m all ‘juiced up ‘again after talking about snow being ‘Sexual.” I’m absolutely dying for someone to be snooping around my crotch.’ I think i deserve it. I’ve worked hard this week. For some reason i’m not as ‘easy’ as i use to be. Still very sexual, just not as willing to dish it so quickly. Not sure why? It’s baaaaad.

9 thoughts on “Fiddle in the Middle”

  1. im pleased u had fun babe and it is healy for geezers and birds to have a sherman i didnt bother making a snowman i just watched mike ashley rape the toon on sky sports news

  2. Its actually quite refreshing to hear you be so open about your sexuality. I happen to know of someone who is quite the opposite right now and when i say opposite I really mean the opposite.

    So I’ve met this girl that I’ve been talking to for awhile and she and I are friends. I wouldn’t say really good friends, but friends. She is one of the most weirdest people I have ever met so far. She has a weird problem approaching the opposite sex. She insults them all the time. She also doesn’t like physical intimacy at all with a guy. It can be anything from a simple holding of hands, to having sex. She finds the whole deal disgusting, and masterbating is out of the question. Even porn or adult entertainment is a big no-no. For example, I told her that from time to time I do read a copy of playboy. She got disgusted and told me “EW! That’s for dirty old men!” There are tons of articles in it as well that are interesting with fun editorials, and I tried showing that to her by bringing her a copy. She couldn’t even get past the cover (which had a fully clothed woman on it). SHE suggested we have porn night oddly enough, then laugh it off. So I didnt think she was serious. Then she would mention it on and off, and if you mention something enough times, people are going to take you seriously about it. So I ended up showing her something very soft at first, which is like a fully clothed woman on a sybian and she was just moaning, she covered her eyes and screamed “Ew, OMG, TURN IT OFF!”. Full on hardcore was just out of the question…. Naturally, this sounds totally impossible that she must be making this up, but she seems pretty genuine about it.

    There are subtle hints that she likes me though me being me, I thought nothing of it that perhaps it was all in my head. For example, everytime she sees me on facebook, BAM instant IM. When I used to live in the same building as her, she couldn’t get herself to come down to my room (because she has this weird thing about never going to a guy’s room), and so she would have her roommate come down, try to engage in a conversation with me, and then convince me to go up to their room. This would go on like every night. Honestly, I found it about annoying. Afterall, she’s the one who wants me to be up there, not her roommate so SHE should be down here.

    When I would see her she would talk to me about random things, throwing some light insults around, and thankfully for her, I have a thick skin about things. Apparently, I am the guy she has treated the nicest in her life. Then she would tell me about this guy who she’s been talking about ALL the time, insulting him and then he avoids her. She talks about how much she hates him on a daily basis. That leads me and her roommate to believe she actually likes this guy. She refuses to believe that she has an attraction to this guy and then comes out to say “I should like someone like you. I like you David”, but it comes out so cavalierly that I didn’t take her seriously, I mean something that heavy shouldn’t be said quite easily.

    She can be a handful at times and so I felt like I don’t think I should be around her because she seems to act very childish. So imagine my response when she calls me up one day to go and hang out with her during the winter vacation. I tried to ask her what day she is available and then I would just tell her I am not available. I know I might be criticized for looking like I am stepping around the issue, but I think she is a nice person at heart and its hard for me to turn anyone away when I think so. Though that plan of me trying to avoid her that way should work, she told me she had a BUNCH of days open. I couldn’t really figure out what to say. I ended up just saying, “I don’t know, I’ll have to check my schedule and then I will call you back on it.” Though I never did.

    Feeling odd about the whole thing, and wondering still if this suspicion was true, I ended up talking to a mutual friend of ours who totally spilled the beans on the whole thing. Nevertheless, I am supposed to be mum about this thing and not act like I know. I felt kind of cheap though at that moment, knowing that she doesn’t like me genuinely, rather she is in a way forcing herself to like me because she thinks its the right thing to do.

    I guess what I was trying to say with this whole thing is, its refreshing that you are open with your whole sexuality. I mean this girl that I am currently talking to doesn’t seem attractive to me, not only does she seem childish but her not being open about sexuality is not very attractive either. She almost seems to repress it in a way. I think having sex is an important factor of a relationship (and also love of course), and its what separates a best friend of the opposite sex and a life partner.

    P.S. – She has suggested porn night AGAIN…
    Also, another friend of mine tells me she uses the rabbit and its pretty darn good, but its the only thing she has ever used. Do you use that, have a collection of toys or just pretty good with your fingers?

    I listen to the Howard Stern Show quite often and one of their on air personalities has admitted to using fruits and vegetables, I wonder if that really is pleasureable though…

  3. Wow! Thats a lot of reading…so i kinda just skimmed it. I’m lazy. lol…Erm..ditch that girl, why obsess over someone who holds their true emotions back. You guys do that soo much!! Don’t! Plus she doesn’t ‘put out’ lol…GONE! DONE! CURB! Be open with her and tell her what u want…no games. If she’s still boring as hell…MOVE it ON Sally Anna!!

    I’m very masculine in my views on sex, cos all my friends are guys and i grew up around hot player guys in LA. So i’ve been, seen heard and done it all. I love sex. I’m a sexual being. You either are or u aren’t. I embrace it and i’m not embarasses to experiment. It’s human nature and not to be feared…i don’t like the whole ‘I fear the wrath of God’ bullshit.

    Oh and i don’t use vegetables…lol Random.

  4. yes i love sex and all and u should tell everythnig how it is so people no where they stand coz if u are like me and thick as pig shit u aint goa get all the subtle hints and all the malrkie

  5. Chrissie- sorry, i do end up getting carried away at times. Its a bit hard to be straightforward with her when there are things that I know of that I shouldn’t know. When the time does come though, I agree with you I should be resolute and tell her that I am a sexual being, and if she isnt that type, we would have real trouble being an item.

    Scratch – yeah, I should be straight up, but only when its clear that she wants me to know that she likes me. xP

  6. yes but if u dont ask her u will never know shun it is better to be upfront and upset early on than spend time and get more attached to someone then u find out u aint her cup of pg and are firmaly in the freind bracket


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