Fairytales, Love & Bums

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Morning my lovely lumps of lick factories! How your feeling? I’m actually brimming over with love, excitement and an odd amount of liciousness. Everything in life is finally going right. And it’s a taken me a rather long time of a darling to actually get to a glittery ‘Fuck yeah bitch-Finally’ stage. I’m celebrating life happily and i want you to be too. I mean you might aswell, there’s nothing better to do. The weather really is quite frightful, to the point where i’m now mentally insane and believe that by slapping layers of fake tan on, i’m warm.. from a tropical heat? (If you don’t have an orange glow, you are NOTHING! Nothing, i tells ya!)

I keep getting these odd calls from ‘Unknown‘ numbers. I’m quite ‘don’t like them every much’ about the whole situation. As i don’t really understand why one would not want to make themselves known to the other party. It’s like having a stranger in ya bed, who flashes ‘light‘ and plays ‘BachFugueDMinor‘at you, until to touch him. You’re not going to? Well i probably would…but that’s because i’m a slag. I’d think it was an inventive way of him telling me he loved me or something?? When you have sex with me boys. You are f****** the ‘EGO.’

I’m slowly finding out that by nature, i’m quite fluffy Barbie like…but it’s my ginormous ‘Ego,’ that is making me VIXEN. I love both…so i’m keeping them. (God i can’t stop looking at my bum in the picture above. It’s all cold, plump and…out! Hahah..Hilarious. It’s like a homeless person.) Oh and i got this random message from Israel from a man who believes i should name my vagina, ‘well i couldn’t really read it.’ Too late, i’ve named it ‘Margaret Thatcher.’

I’m getting really excited about this ‘Miss.Romance’ thing. We shoot & film this saturday!! I actually really can’t wait. I know a lot of you auditioned for it, (you’ve all told me) and well now i’m getting to see all your audition tapes! Haha…Don’t you just hate that! I watched one in bed, with wine. I think the problem is that everyone played a role, instead of playing a version of their actual self.

Like John Roberts (the producer) asked me about the chicks in fairytales. Most of you would’ve maybe (coz i don’t know) gone on about how they we’re heroic, fluffy beauties, who have the perfect lives! I said, ‘As if those girls weren’t sluts! Like how do you think they got the man!!!’ They don’t tell you eveyrthing in fairytales. I know…i’m writing mine!

It even made John think! He replied with a ‘Well now i think about it,


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