The naughty in me has come out and i can’t stop the *shimmie* from a shaking, so help me GOD! I was feeling all sorry for my rather pretty self, *flutter-flutter-sympathy please* and then i slapped on ‘Don’t let me start without you’ by Alexandra Burke and like i was on crack dipped Jolly Ranchers, the *cheeky cheeky* started to bubble in my system and now i feel completely over the moon. I feel playful, utterly joyous and almost as if i could leap off Cloud 9, build myself a Cloud 10 and tell all you kittens, to join me, in your best heels! (And i’m not even drunk! Wish i was though. It is a vice i am beginning to miss deeply. 7 Months to go!)
I would actually always *wiggle* around to this song (not knowing who it was by) in a black BSM fiat, with Loverboy, as my moment, on motorways. We’d play if full blast, wind up the windows, so we didn’t look like complete twateroos, and well piss take dance, like the happiest of hot fricking campers!
I don’t know why i’m feeling so ace, but life is just dealing me a jolly good hand and i’m happy. Simple as that! I couldn’t have jig-sawed it together any better? My life has been re-glued and re-glued, all over the globe, until it finally worked. For once i feel solid. I’m going through an unbelievable profund phase of change…great change! I’ve shocked myself..but i never did give up, did i? Well done ME!
On a more delicious note, I’ve also been proposed to a fan called ‘Bobby’ in Africa, and men in kilts have been sending me pictures of themelves, asking if i think they’re fat! Haha. I love my life! I’ve also managed (mid-wiggle) to stress Wazza out completely and make his second guess his whole entire existance…(that’s what friends are for) and i other than that, i’m enjoying how boys are attempting to *woo*me (‘Here Chrissie, listen to this song i want to dedicate to you. It’s called Pussy,’ ) and yeah…as per usual, I pretty much look *SIZZLE* bitches! I don’t know why boys bother going down the sexual route of trying to pull me, because it NEVER works. I had a guy facebook me called ‘Peter Minty Stimson.’ In order to ‘woo’ me he wrote me this (under the subject title ‘Hi Chicken’ : ‘ Still wana c u with spunk in your mouth and me fingers up your arse.Inbox me if your dirty.Cant wait.Xxx’
If he looked mildy Brad Pitt like, i would’ve let him off. (You have to really don’t you. I mean i wouldn’t have liked it, but i would’ve let him off..with a *Blank.*) Yet because he had a face like a Bulldog and not a cute one you want to pet, but an unloved one that you want to kick (in the face, repeatedly, or pissing on your shoes,) i informed him of how disgusting he was…but Wunna style. 🙂 I then deleted him. Funny, but not funny guy. The sexual aprocah doesn’t fly with me. I’m ingenius at it. Rubbish attempts at pervy Tom Foolery will simply be a *yawn.* (Note: The boys that scored me, where the boys that told me they loved me. Mean it or not…learn it…quickly! I enjoy, love, fun and romance. The bedroom is a department i own and you aren’t on the list!) Men are just thick sometimes. I mean that ‘Minty blah blah’ guy, is really a bad guy? He just thinks he’s funny and doesn’t know how to approach a Glamour Puss, other than making himself look like a twat. That’s what i find more disappointing. The distinct lack of Swagger! But whatever, i’m joyous right now, i’m filing that away and enjoying my evening with party poppers!
I’m missing being the life and soul of any party, i missing getting my gin on and my wiggle on. I want to *shimmie* gleefully, until i go blind and i keep telling everyone that my ‘body is a weapon.’ (Oh dear!) Why am i getting a *Flashback* of this boy i dated called Tommy, driving up to my old LA appartment on Kings rd, that i shared with a lawyer, and throwing a box of my things at me? 🙂 It must’ve been a happy moment. All i remember is the car was red, on loan and i fianlly got my ‘Dirt’ belt back. The relationship i could sacrifice. But i did miss his penis. I cried over it for whole days. (Sooo glad, i’m not with him now. Great great friend! Rubbish boyfriend.)
Life is good. Doing happy dances and everything. Tomorrow Loverboy goes in for his ‘bambino’ blood-test. He’s working all today, and i’m missing him loads!! It’s a good feeling. I can’t believe i forgot Leeds Pride was this Sunday!!! God, i need food! I’m gonna enjoy a night in, with my ego!
‘Peter Minty Stimson’ (below… definitely a ‘keeper’)