Okay, so just as i thought i had nothing to blog about except waving, winking and watching Zac Efron fall in love with his friends Mother…i get a call from The Gods, in the form of BBF Kat. I’m not into easter eggs, the only bunnies i like are Playboy and well the whole Jesus thang doesn’t sit too well with my ‘good clean’ nature. Kat is happy right now because she’s getting laid and to cheer me up (because i’m not) she decided to tell me her version of the Easter Egg Hunt…cleverly named (and by her dear self) the ‘Easter Egg Cunt.’ (Where’s my wine??)
What you do, is find a boy who’s willing to have a bit of ‘ooh aar- daddy..’ Proceed to sleep with him…in the bed he use to have sex with his ex in. (She had to have ‘pumpy’ whilst she saw the shoes of the gentlemans previous lover by the bedside)…we’ve ALL been there! Then you straddle on top of your naked man place you’re rosey vagina over his face (add chirping Disney birds, if you so wish) and lay an egg. GENIUS and so much better than going to Church. Not sure if this is actually possible and i guess if some sort of ‘egg’ squeezed out of you then…well who knows??? That my darlings is the ‘Easter Egg Cunt’ invented by BBF Kat (The druggie) and approved by BBF Chrissie (The terrifying plastic doll from Pontefract.)
Other than Easter being boring, dolloped off with a side of inappropriate vulgar hilariousness….Last night i had a delicious bundle of ‘flirty flirty’ with a yummy boy via the fine art of Blackberry Messenger. Before i knew it, it was 3am. My God it was hot. It was snail trails galore. He shocked me. I’m always one to claim to be quite bad in all the right ways…yet luckily so was he. (She winks.) I’m loving life! Rev up that dildo and take me to the next chapter.