Dotty Xmas Shenanighans


The weekend has been AMAZING.

I adore amazing weekends simply because it sets you up for a pretty great week ahead and I have A LOT OF WORK to get through this week. I can only do work when I feel ‘GREAT’ and simply because I have a lazy streak. I like to call it a delicate ‘kitty swagger.’

Yesterday I ventured to Doncaster (a tradition of mine) with the kiddies to celebrate merriment and the pretty lights of Christmas. You didn’t remind me that it was hectic. I even set off early at 9.30am to beat the manic Christmas shoppers, only to find that I BECAME an overly stressed, manic Xmas shopper. There I the midst of the mayhem, early as 10am and on my OWN with a newborn and a two year old!


Marvellously creative concept. In fact, the BEST shopping trolley idea EVER for children. Well so it seemed at the time. They look pretty darn wonderful don’t they? And like hot dudes and chicks…it’s the substance that we forget to love.

Firstly, the cars/shopping trollies are placed outside a toy store. Of course. I do PR, I get that! In fact it’s probably where I would choose to place themselves, if I DIDN’T HAVE CHILDREN and had this concept on my client list! πŸ™‚

Ruby darted over to the pink car like her life depended on it. She refused to leave it until I plonked her booty in it! You can hire them out for Β£3 an hour or Β£5 for two hours. At first she wasn’t allowed to be carted round in one, which made her hate me for a while. I felt bad because she looked like little orphan Annie. Yet I had Junior in a BUGGY. I couldn’t wheel HIM AROUND and HER AROUND and look glamourous whilst doing so.

She had to wait, until I called reinforcements..which was my Mother. When that occured…Ruby got her way and before you know it, she was plonked in the driver’s seat like the QUEEN OF FRICKING SHEBA, as I (Kitty Fantastico) WHEELED HER AROUND LIKE A MORON. πŸ™‚

I always think i enjoy attention, until it’s given to me. It honestly felt like I had just left the BBF house and was walking around a shopping mall. We were GLARED at for hours and because it seemed that NO-ONE else had rented one out? In the morning everyone did. During the afternoon, there was just us! It was hilariously awkward because everywhere we went we were ‘aww’ed’ at, or pointed at, or watched and stared at. It was honestly like I was wheeling around Jesus. Up shopping centre hills and everything, as RUBY waved at fans. πŸ™‚

‘Hi everyone. I’m two.’

She had a moment where BHS got the better of her and she had to leap out to grab candy canes. When she did other people’s children thought it was a free for all and sort of formed some bundle like line around me, like I was supposed to ride them around in it too? I DON’T THINK SO. πŸ™‚ I’m not a ride. That’s Wunna 2004. πŸ˜‰Β I paid for that monstrosity. It’s a private shopping trolley car. I didn’t let any other children get in it AT ALL. πŸ™‚ I’m nice like that. It was hilarious. My mum just backed away with Junior in laughter. That car is embarrassing when stuff gets awkward, No-one can take you seriously…and it’s far too giant to hide or just park upsomeone. If you go in an elevator, you take up ALL THE ROOM. It’s like YOU ARE the elephant in the room. πŸ™‚


After BHS, which I adore at Christmas. We all do, don’t we? As it gets rather festive. Junior decided to demand attention. Ruby was getting it all and it must’ve rubbed him up the wrong way. I mean that morning, he out right REFUSED to be an eskimo…

However, unfortunately and because he’s 6 months old…he didn’t win the war.

He went with it and ‘swagged’ it out anyway. πŸ™‚ He looked like an eskimo meets P.Diddy. I LOVED IT! And so did everyone else when he began kicking off for a bit of ‘look at me.’ Junior’s still in that cute stage where he is able to kick off and have people still find him adorable.

But then Ruby really cranked up the ‘Look at me’ levels by shouting out of her car, driving me insane and being a basic delicious nuisance. Those cars have HORNS on them. Bad idea. πŸ™‚

Β Β 


By this point we were literally THE FACES of this shopping trolley brand. We were a ‘hit’ and well I could’ve taken the show on the road if I wanted. It was the height of embarrassment. That thing is BIGGER than you think. You try wiggling it around grannies, toddlers and Christmas shoppers. It was such an issue, that I had to give it back EARLY!!

Well after we paused so Ruby could watch men have their mustaches shaved off in the final celebrations of completing MOVEMBER! It was quite snazzy actually and at an old school pop barbers. I brother had a hot towel shave thingy too and Ruby got a choccie lolly shaped like a ‘tache’ also! She’s easily pleased.


I couldn’t have been happier giving back that car/trolley/bit of shopping insanity! However, when I started walking around after handing it in, things didn’t feel the same. I missed the attention so instead took pictures of myself in mirrors for kicks.


I got absolutely ZERO Christmas shopping done AND to make it worse I WAS SOBER. That car/trolley stressed me out so much that all there was left to do laugh and chase after my child who thinks the ‘running away and hiding’ game is fun. #nightmare

During the midst of my laughter the DEAR LORD then thought,

‘Hey…let’s wedged Wunna in traffic for fun..’


IT WAS A BLAST! Especially with a nursery rhymes CD playing on repeat. Β πŸ™‚ #biteme To be honest, the children were actually so lovely all day to say I was so grumpy. I’m a lucky Mum. Even when they’re evil, it’s funny and when i’m down Ruby always wants to cheer me up..


Today was a great day. The kids have loved it and well we officially hit Dec 1st with a wiggle of grandeur…even though I haven’t managed to put the tree up yet because it’s in the loft and I can’t get it. Ruby stayed up until midnight because she thought she could handle it. She had insisted on smearing every lotion in the house upon her being, until I finally won when she picked up the ‘Sleep tight’ massage oil and became her own worst enemy. Mummy wins again! πŸ™‚ #snooze She woke up at 9am. πŸ™‚ That’s a lay in for me (in case you’re not a mum and don’t get it. )

We’ve been super Christmasy, enjoyed advent calendars, a sing song and reading Christmas stories.

Then it all went bonkers as they fought for my lap? Odd really. But it’s a popular place. Ruby and Junior have only just started to communicate with one another. It’s funny because they make each other laugh and I adore it. It’s more because Junior can now scream at you and mumble like he’s having a conversation. He’s going to be a talker. He’s like a halfAsian ‘Bam-Bam.

They pushed..they pulled…Ruby dived across my lap preventing Junior from getting on it…

Then Mummy compromised…


THEN they both did 40 poo’s each and Ruby went off to Pete’s for Sunday dinner.


I’m loving life right now and getting into CHRISTMAS. I’m a December born baby, so this is MY MONTH!!




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