Don’t Worry My Dear! I Have A Cunning Plan..

 

…be worried. I don’t. I’m one of these ‘always knows what i’m doing’ kinda gals, who has no idea whats she’s doing, but 100% commits to her art of ‘jiggery pokery.’ After a cocktail, and a playful *strut* into a room, my immediate surrounding seems to get all kinds of heated, all  sweaty, a  bit muddled? Everytime i walk into a room, for 2 seconds and with my first step… EVERYTHING stops! I don’t know why? But i know that people are less amazed by me, yet more excited or should i  say weary (lol) as to what i’m going to do. Which cracks me up! Being a kitty minx used to be difficult. However now, it seems you all take care of the ‘minxiness’ for me. I walk in….people feel all ‘naughty’ or a wee bit ‘uncomfy.’ I watch things just happen…good or bad. Luckily, these ‘things that happen,’ end up naturally flowing in my favour, (due to my ridiculous charm, wonderful set of ‘jubblies’ & the fact that ‘sexy’ looks after ‘sexy’)..i take all the credit. I get drunk. I leave…and with a genuine reputation of sheer marvel. I have no idea what im on about. I’m currently watching the Man U/Leeds game in a ‘hoochie mama’ footie kit. I root for Man U. They’re currently NOT winning, therefore proving my powers of ‘ooh laa’ don’t work EVERYtime. I’m one of footballs foxiest fans. The ‘Daily star’ said so. Oh and my nudie picture up above, isnt meant to be all ‘oooh look at me, i’m all naked and slutty.’ It’s to show you that i LOVE my body..which is what I believe, makes a person sexy. AND to show you girls (the ones that don’t hate me. Only the rubbish ones hate me, ) that i’m not a skinny girl..I’s got humps!

Anyway other than that, a gentleman has sent me a message stating that he is a cross dresser and NO JOKE wants to be my slave, my ‘bot’, my ‘darling’ who will tend to all my tedious chores, carry my bags, wash my clothes, do all the crap i don’t want to do, and all i have to do in return for this service is treat him like ‘shit,’ yell at him all the time, and tell him he’s ‘worthless.’ How is this my real life? I’m not quite sure why i’m so humoured by it all  and ofcourse i should pretty much *high 5* him on his delicious way of life, but then send him on his merry way. Being the Queen that I am, I simply said ‘yes.’ Whoopee! I have a slave! 2010, is turning out to be AMAZING. To be honest, I actually once had a extremely famous man, ask me to *stomp* on his balls, in stilettos at an infamous Hollywood hotel. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, even when trashed. HAHAHA! That’s how i know, that underneath ten feet of crap and tan…i really am a good person. 🙂

What else has happened? Oh, last night, i was awarded the ‘Best Twitter replier ever’ trophy by @jamie_ s I’m great at replying on Twitter (hence my award)…but shit at actually telling you what i’m doing. (Which is the whole point of the ‘shindig.’) I’ve just got off the phone to Jonny (@jonathanctaylor) who is far too happy for his own good right now, and getting up to…i think the term we filed it under was… ‘stupidity.’ We’re both up north right now and well loving it. On the 7th…i’m back. I love Jonny. He’s good people, we can tell each other anything…and without judgment. However, he’s lost his friends in the massiveness of his Fathers house. Aaah it’s hard life. I wish i could lose my friends. 🙂 I try to…but you all keep coming back.

Had another one of my chitty chats with the lovely George

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