I have so much work on right now and i can’t handle it. All i want to do is (direct eyes to above picture. ) I’m a sucker for a good time. So even though my ‘work’ is kind of a ‘good time.’ I’m quite aware that it is ‘work’ and the ‘play’ in me wants to break loose and run riot!! I find it so hard to appreciate ‘work.’ I just want to jump up and down naked on ping pong sticks, whilst sipping cocktails and shimmi-ing my bazukas to the sounds of ‘Latin’ beats.
Instead, i have a choca-blocka schedule of boobie shoots, appearances, party appearances, burlesque dance classes, book writing, filming, spanish and meetings! I’m thumbing through my diary and i don’t see any ‘free time’ space. How am i supposed to fit ‘friends, sex or sleep’ in there?? But honestly who cares, i’m GREATNESS. My body and mind is just getting used to it all i think? (She winks and slowly strokes her thigh.) I CAN handle it. I WILL handle it and i’ll handle it better than Fonzi! (Purr…)
DJ Talent just called me again. He’s due to perform on Monday! So out of everyone in the world that he could’ve asked advice from…he asks ME! Little Chrissie Wunna! Yeah Bitches! The bird he wants to bone. (Over my dead body. Like you would seriously have to kill me.) God, i’m such a life coach. (Worship Me!) Okay, anyone with a single ounce of sense knows not to EVER take my advice. I’m a fucking whack job. I’m not well. I’m not normal. What i’ve achieved in this life (which is ..’to still be alive’) is all purely by accident. I’ve got by on a sex appeal, boobies and a sassy personality. Don’t ask me how to win shows. I just lost one.
Anyway, i told him that i can’t meet him and then i gave him the whole, just ‘get the audience on your side’ speech. Do anything you can to win. Make them ADORE you. Win them over. Be a character. (Same old bullshit.) I mean the key to success on these shows is always ‘talent’ and i honestly don’t think he has any. (Haha.) Yet i do feel for him. So i asked him who he’s was up against and he said ‘Susan Boyle!‘ He’s never gonna beat Susan Boyle and i’m not even a Susan Boyle fan. I don’t know what all the palavas about with her?? Yet, i was honest with him. Then he went on to ask me a million questions about George Sampson…which i just made up answers to, followed by lots of ‘i don’t really know’s??‘ I don’t why people keep asking me about Lil’ Sampz because i really know nothing …at all. Other than the fact that i once said he was ‘sexy’ and that i wanted to date him. Then i got visciously verbally abused by masses of teenage girls who kept calling me a ‘Slut.’ (Hahaha!) If you want to know anything about him, i’m sure the appropriate person to ask would be HIM. Right? I don’t even know facts about myself, let alone anyone else. Malibu stole my memories.
I have a date with ‘Dreamboat’ tonight. Date 3! Just dinner before he flies off for a couple days. I’m excited. (We’re not ‘dating,’ we’re just going on dates.) It’ll be good to unwind with delicious company in the form of hot boy. I’ve worked hard all day. I deserve a treat. Right? (Well that’s what he says.)