Diaries of a Glamour Puss…and hormones


Okay, so i couldn’t blog all yesterday because i was far too busy being a cow and i don’t mean mooing on all fours my fences, letting strangers milk my udders…i just mean hormonal. I woke up feeling all fuzzy and ‘ugh’…when i feel like that and when i’m having an ‘off button’ day, i’m no use to anyone…and well the morning time in Wunna land was not that fun for my very ‘handsome’ Keiran. My mind hurt, my bum hurt, my world was just an ouchy away from a plaster. Then i had wine over chicken wraps, meatballs and lunchy fresh kisses and Wunna land perked up once more. I aplogised for being a bit of a ‘grizzle bear’ (hormones and periods are not a fun combination…with tits and great hair) and we leapt straight back into ‘fairytale,’ infact so far back to ‘fairytale’ that we swooned with love, romance and ‘can’t WAIT to marry’ you’s. Then i made him chicken with a bit of steamy veg. The day began by me pulling faces by white vans (Keiran’s buying one because he doesn’t want to kip in a tent when his security company work the festivals) and it ended with a topless cuddling, utter happiness and then after putting baby Ruby to ‘nighty night’ hot quick sex, filled with a delicious dollop of role play. I LOVE turning Keiran on, but more importantly, i love that i am able to turn him on and quickly. We have great ‘rumpy’..which makes our romance sizzle. I love him mucho mucho. I can’t wait to roll out the wedding and finally become his wifey. (Fyi/ I don’t look good by white vans, in the rain. I wore this master of a cream fur coat…one that leaves a fur trail wherever i go. When it’s gloomy…and i’m in a yard filled with vans, i kinda just look like a twat…with tits. 🙂 )

Today looks like it’s going to be hectic. I’ve got sooo much to tend to and no-one is fricking calling me back. The wedding venue. No call back. The new computer. No call back. The agent. No call back. The ‘everything for crying out loud’ even….no call back. I’ve woken up, had a hectic mummy morning with Ruby sitting on my face and then pulling my eyelashes off, then demanding to play in my knickers whilst i wee and tend to ‘red’ time of the month and then cry because i won’t let her. The only thing that made her cheery was a crumpet, playing in the garden (i taught her not to eact Ladybirds today #wahey) and Keiran. If i tell Ruby off, she’ll throw me daggers, slap me and put on her headband with a ‘Diva.’ If he tells her off, she’ll weep, listen then cuddle him like her life depends on his love. Lol. Being a Glamour Puss and a mummy isn’t always easy. Yet it’s great when you find yourself eyelining, whilst you have a giggling one year old yanking your hair out your head, and poking her finger in your left nipple for fun, whilst calling you a ‘cat-cat.’ Garden time was great. I mean, she looked at me and picked her first ever flower with a smile and total giddy amazement. Moments like that mean i can bronze later. But yes, today i predict i will go mental. 🙂 Yippeee. (I’m taking us out for lunch.)

On the book front…well Gay Adam texts me this morning all excited with feathers and because ‘Diaires of a Glamour Puss’ (my book) had arrived on his doorstep this morning. He bought the last one in stock on Amazon and had it ‘next dayed’…he got it today and well i’m really really loving that! HOWEVER…i haven’t EVEN been sent my own personal copies from my publisher or agent yet! How insane is that! I HAVEN’T EVEN  touched a copy of MY OWN BOOK yet and people are already buying and reading it. That can’t be right? I’m frustrated because i’m dying to get a copy. I don’t even know what’s happening? I do know that i’m not going to do major promo for it yet, until the launch…i’ll do a bit of radio, a bit of ‘magaziney’ and a bit of ‘daytime telly’ before it…then during the sunny months, i’ll trollop on tour.

For those of you who have bought copies of my book…thank you soooo much! If you haven’t recieved yours yet…i am super dooper sorry and hope you get it soon! (I’m in the exact same boat as you.) I think they’ve pro-longed pre-order due to it selling out and the launch party not being until May 26th (at Bed nightclub 10pm…BE THERE.) I just want my own copy and i kinda want it NOW!!! *Fluster bronze here.* Gay Adam( @AdamParnell ) got one before ME!!!

I’m happy, i’m in love, Keiran is the most loving man in this entire world, he is being soo lovely to me and well every day i’m grateful for him being in my life and well he looked at me yesterday and said, ‘I am soo lucky to have you. You’re beautiful, you’re loving, you look after me…i love you.’ Ruby is growing up fast and well…it’s my time of the month Dollies. 😉 Helllooo hormones!

Buy my book. 🙂 (Look to the right…and click on the box.)



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