Dance on My Lap bitches

Just woke up feeling AMAZING because i dreamt i was being sexually abused by a whole overly tanned, overly buff american boyband, in speedos on a beach! I’m a perv when it comes to delicious ‘Himbos,’ (i am…i fall weak at the knees because i’m shallow) and yeah having to actually wake up and change my sheets says it all really! I need them in my life, for (to the) EVER! Those sexy little bitches! You’ve just got to love an LA boy. Purr….

Anyway more importantly, today is the day that I (Lil’ Miss. Wunna-Queen of fucking Greatness) goes out on a merry adventure with the sexy Harriet, where we will drink until we can see no more and make fun of minging strippers who respond to the name of ‘

2 thoughts on “Dance on My Lap bitches”

  1. i am drunkkkkkkkkkkkk and dan wont wake up to make me toast!! he doesnt love me like you said he does

    ps i wrote this when i got out of the taxi but it took me sooooooooo long to type that you are probably home. dear god. 15 shots for michael jackson was possibly dumb

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